Kay022 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 I am feeling like a jerk. Even though what he is doing is awful, how I reacted was not good or mature IMO. We were together 7 years, broke up for a bit, in that time he was seeing somebody else that did not work out at all. I also dated which didn’t work out either. The one he was close to and who was causing all kinds of drama between us... she recently moved across the country, and after she left we got back together. Everything seemed perfect. Last week I found out, he is planning a trip out to fly down to see her next week. Obviously, he did not tell me about this. I found out from her. I wrote a long thread in Dating about this, but just thought I would write a shorter thread here too since I am having trouble coping. I did not even speak to him, voices I mean, after I found this out. I ended up writing him a nasty email. About what is he doing. pointed out all my feelings and how devoted I was to him. Saying he clearly does not love or care about me. Gave examples. Ended things… I was just so furious… I just typed out the email so fast and clicked send without hesitating or even reading it over. I also changed my phone number. I just feel like a jerk for sending something like that after we had such a long past of 7 years together. We were so close, I loved him more than could imagine and still do, and I know he did love me, maybe still does, I just can’t believe what he is doing. The email though, I think I was wrong in sending that?... I feel like I should send him something ending things on a better note, maybe give him a chance to respond, but maybe he doesn’t deserve that, I feel I should say something as I was so harsh to him, but I know NC is best!! I am so confused and can’t get him or all this off my mind. I just wish I just did not react so hasty.
jerbear Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 I'm sorry you are going through this. If you feel down, need a chat, or whatever; just post and the Love Shackians will try to help you.
BCCA Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 You cant beat yourself up over what you did in the heat of the moment. And look, the guy was trying to sneak behind your back to see this other girl that has already caused problems for you two in the past. He deserves to be called out and taken to task. I dont think you're going to find another woman in the world that wouldnt have called/emailed/texted an equal/nastier email. What he did was uncalled for and unacceptable. He doesnt deserve you at all. It sounds like you have the same problem as me. Youre a nice and trusting person, but there are so many s**t heads out there looking to take advantage of good people. If he cared at all, he would have made an effort to explain himself and make things right. I have a feeling you're only going to here from him if things with this other woman take a turn for the worse. Dont be his backup, this guy sounds like a selfish jerk. You should not feel like a jerk at all, but I know why you do. Youre a good person, and you hate to be mean, but the problem is that this guy is a bozo who doesnt care about anyone but himself. Dont let the fact that you have a good heart make you feel like a bad person for giving this man what he had coming. He deserved a keyed car and much worse, IMO. I think he got off EASY with an email, no matter how mean it was.
nowhereman82 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 The heart and head don't always agree with each other. You did the right thing, good for you. Your heart says you did the wrong thing, I feel for you. I know the words are empty but find comfort in knowing you are a strong woman for not letting him walk on you like that. Be glad you found out now and not later.
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