Author Star Gazer Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 What is fecking everything up are all these stupid rules being imposed by modern society and this is why the genders are so lost. Ask anyone how they dated in the 70's and 80's and you will see what the rules are. Those rules no longer exist. They're outdated. Societal norms evolve with the needs and wants of the people in that society.
djhall Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Furthermore, I also didn't make the rules in terms of why men get to use women for sex and then dump their asssses and on top of it call them cheap SKANKS but it happens, and it is the way it is. And it ain't changing anytime soon. Men will also be used for sex but they will never earn the title of "SkanK' the way women do. That's just the way the genders are and the way the dating world is. Don't get me started on that topic! As far as I am concerned, the fact that men spend endless amounts of time, money, and effort trying to convince women to have sex with them outside of relationships, then insult and punish them for giving them what they want, is de facto proof that men are, generally speaking, idiots! I bet you any money that me not bending my rules and you applying this new rule you will be left dateless while I won't be. It's unfair it is a double standard, but so is what I mentioned earlier so...the more realistic we are about things the happier we will all be. You are probably right. I agree, the more realistic we are about things the happier we will all be. Since both these double-standards are illogical and counter-productive, I think we should be realistic about accepting that and getting rid of them, and not perpetuate ideas we know are idiotic and counter-productive as "being realistic".
Lauriebell82 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Those rules no longer exist. They're outdated. Societal norms evolve with the needs and wants of the people in that society. True, some people still do live by those dating "rules" however. Our society is a lot more "equal opportunity" in regards to genders, but (especially in a thread like this) there are going to be difference of opinions, because people feel differently about dating. All the arguing back and forth is irrelevant and just proves that the reason for so much conflict in society is because people "want and need" certain things.
whichwayisup Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Do whatever the eff feels right TO YOU I haven't read this thread, just the 1st post. I agree 100%. Everyone is different and there is no real right or wrong way.
LionLover Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 So, I hadn't heard from the guy I wasn't all that into (Dave) in almost a week. I got home from a business trip last night and was exhausted so I stayed in. I became incredibly bored, so I texted him hello. Stargazer Stargazer, switch roles - if some guy said he texted you hello because he was "incredibly bored", how would you feel... Not picking on you but I think you should just let this guy be or just tell him flat out that you have no romantic interest in him what-so-ever & leave it at that. Your giving him false hope because you already know you don't like the guy so what gives woman?!
vonerik012 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Those rules no longer exist. They're outdated. Societal norms evolve with the needs and wants of the people in that society. Or they are imposed... So try something new. Ask a man out, pick him up, and pay for the first 5 dates, as many men do...Do the planning, paying, calling etc...
Tomcat33 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 About 75% of the people in this thread alone disagree with you. Yeah and? I have been in numerous threads where mostly everyone disagreed with me AND? Is that supposed to make me change my mind? The responses here equals out to less than 1% of the population, the female response I don't care because I only date men so.... I ain't losin' any sleep over THAT! I understand some guys like one thing and some guys like other things, but I don't care what the majority likes as long as the guy I am with sees eye to eye with me that's all that matters really.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 All the arguing back and forth is irrelevant and just proves that the reason for so much conflict in society is because people "want and need" certain things. Right. "Want and need" DIFFERENT things. I haven't read this thread, just the 1st post. I agree 100%. Everyone is different and there is no real right or wrong way. Right again. Stargazer Stargazer, switch roles - if some guy said he texted you hello because he was "incredibly bored", how would you feel... Oh no! I didn't TELL him that I was bored.
Tomcat33 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Those rules no longer exist. They're outdated. Societal norms evolve with the needs and wants of the people in that society. Yes they do Star, when women like you try to outwin them they end up confused and feeling somewhat lost. That's all I was trying to point out.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 Yeah and? I have been in numerous threads where mostly everyone disagreed with me AND? Is that supposed to make me change my mind? No. I've actually received a slew of PM's in the past hour or so about your incessant desire to be right. I'm not surprised you're doing the same thing here. Moving on...
Lauriebell82 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Yeah and? I have been in numerous threads where mostly everyone disagreed with me AND? Is that supposed to make me change my mind? The responses here equals out to less than 1% of the population, the female response I don't care because I only date men so.... I ain't losin' any sleep over THAT! I understand some guys like one thing and some guys like other things, but I don't care what the majority likes as long as the guy I am with sees eye to eye with me that's all that matters really. Well put!! I believe that it doesn't matter who "chases" who. Pre-set expectations/rules for dating is normal, but to be compatible you have to have the same set of expectations. Hense another reason for the high divorce rate.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 Yes they do Star, when women like you try to outwin them they end up confused and feeling somewhat lost. That's all I was trying to point out. I end up confused only when I try to follow rules that DO NOT FIT my life, my needs, my wants.
vonerik012 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Obviously, through the past month and a half of reading these threads, there is only 1 person who is incredibly lost when it comes to dating. I wont name any names though..
Author Star Gazer Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 Obviously, through the past month and a half of reading these threads, there is only 1 person who is incredibly lost when it comes to dating. I wont name any names though.. Who, me? I agree...I WAS lost and confused. Why? Because I was following everyone else's rules but my own.
Lauriebell82 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 I end up confused only when I try to follow rules that DO NOT FIT my life, my needs, my wants. Then follows the "rules" YOU believe in. I'm sure there are guys out there who think the way you do about dating SG. I would not peg you for a conformist, nor should you be. Everyone should have the opportunity to be with someone who thinks the same way they do in regards to dating.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 Then follows the "rules" YOU believe in. I'm sure there are guys out there who think the way you do about dating SG. I would not peg you for a conformist, nor should you be. Everyone should have the opportunity to be with someone who thinks the same way they do in regards to dating. Well, that's what I've decided to do, LB. Unfortunately, someone here is trying to tell me that I should follow some pre-ordained rule book that doesn't fit who I am or what I'm about.
Lauriebell82 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Obviously, through the past month and a half of reading these threads, there is only 1 person who is incredibly lost when it comes to dating. I wont name any names though.. Seriously dude, you are adding fuel to this fire here. Everyone has the right to disagree with each other, ESPECIALLY in threads such as this one. But what causes conflict is when posters are narrow in what they think is right and try to force their beliefs on others.
Tomcat33 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Look I'm sorry if I came across rude I am not against you here just hear me out k? You opened your post with this: So, I hadn't heard from the guy I wasn't all that into (Dave) in almost a week. I got home from a business trip last night and was exhausted so I stayed in. I became incredibly bored, so I texted him hello. He responded immediately, and said he was surprised to hear from me. Why? He said, "Well, I figured if you were into me, you'd call me. I didn't want to push the issue." My point is you can bend the rules all you want but the bottom line is this: ONLY WIMPY guys sit around and wait for women to make the first move, basically the types of guys most cool women are NOT into. You strike me as a cool woman you would NOT be into a wimpy guy. You said so yourself in the opening post "I was not that into this guy" NO KIDDING you weren't that into him because he is not the type of guy that really turns your crank. The type of guy that makes you weak at the knees. And the fact that he is the type to sit at home waiting for YOU to make the next move is more than likely why. Of course I am just guessing you and you can come back and say no way: this is the real reason I don't like him and I could be off but that is my suspition.
whichwayisup Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Pre-set expectations/rules for dating is normal, OK, I agree with this.. There is a certain courting and slight fun cat/mouse game (not malciously, but for fun and keeping eachother on the toes in a good way) at the beginning, but once two people make it clear that the interest is there, that needs to stop because it gets irritating.
Lauriebell82 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Well, that's what I've decided to do, LB. Unfortunately, someone here is trying to tell me that I should follow some pre-ordained rule book that doesn't fit who I am or what I'm about. I thought my threads got out of control, sheesh!
Tomcat33 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 No. I've actually received a slew of PM's in the past hour or so about your incessant desire to be right. I'm not surprised you're doing the same thing here. Moving on... Yeah probably for the same people who "ehhem" have the exact same need and didn't get very far with me? Let the PMs flow. I know what I am talking about.
OpenBook Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 SG, if you are simply expressing frustration in this thread about what it's like out there in the Dating Jungle, I hear you and I empathize... as I'm sure so are the other SG (Single Gals) here who are responding to your thread. We're all in the same boat. It's a wild ride out there! And it can be extremely frustrating and confusing. I for one would LOVE to be able to call or go see a man I'm interested in whenever I want. But I know that's not the way the world works. At least, it hasn't worked that way for me. Each of us has come up with our own strategies to deal with The Jungle. The way I see it, we're all just throwing our 2 cents in here, because we assumed that's what you wanted - feedback into your thread that you started. I really don't think we should be snapping at each other whenever we discover there's differences in our strategies. We should all be pulling together. In spite of all our society's progress in the last 50 years, it is still very much a man's world... and there are still many men out there like Vonerik who would love it if we were barefoot and chained to the bedpost, at their mercy by means of our aging ovaries, submissive and compliant to their every whim and demand.:D If you want to call a guy, then you call him!! And if he doesn't respond positively to your attention, then he's an idiot!! Period. End of story. For me, this approach has not worked. I'm not really sure why (although I think it has something to do with men wanting to be in charge and in control), but it always seems to work out better when the guy does all the initiating in the beginning of a fine romance. But again, I am just stating my own experience. Yours may be different.
vonerik012 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 It just seems like you post solely to seek validation... So much so that the overall idea of the thread is changed over and over to assure that you remain correct. Since it is a new revelation for you, I am not sure how you are so positive it will pan out well in the future. But go for it.. But are you willing to actually ask, plan, pay and drive on your dates? Or is some of that still typically a male gender role?(of course you will come back with some snotty answer)
Author Star Gazer Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 Seriously dude, you are adding fuel to this fire here. Everyone has the right to disagree with each other, ESPECIALLY in threads such as this one. But what causes conflict is when posters are narrow in what they think is right and try to force their beliefs on others. Thanks, LB. My point is you can bend the rules all you want but the bottom line is this: ONLY WIMPY guys sit around and wait for women to make the first move, basically the types of guys most cool women are NOT into. You strike me as a cool woman you would NOT be into a wimpy guy. You said so yourself in the opening post "I was not that into this guy" NO KIDDING you weren't that into him because he is not the type of guy that really turns your crank. The type of guy that makes you weak at the knees. And the fact that he is the type to sit at home waiting for YOU to make the next move is more than likely why. Of course I am just guessing you and you can come back and say no way: this is the real reason I don't like him and I could be off but that is my suspition. I don't really think I'm into Dave, and the reasons you stated have NOTHING to do with that. You're right that I don't want a wimpy guy. But guess what? The guy I want doesn't want a wimpy princess either. The guy I want is held in such high regard and keeps his life so full and interesting that I WANT to be a part of his life. I go after what I want. I don't wait for it to come to me. The same does and will hold true when it comes to dating.
OpenBook Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 As far as I am concerned, the fact that men spend endless amounts of time, money, and effort trying to convince women to have sex with them outside of relationships, then insult and punish them for giving them what they want, is de facto proof that men are, generally speaking, idiots! :lmao: Totally agree. And that is a great reason why I think women should be very cautious with men in the beginning of a romantic relationship. I believe the ideal scenario is when you've been friends with him for awhile, and you know him pretty well, and then it turns romantic. A lot of the guessing is removed from the equation. Much nicer!!
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