Touche Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 EXACTLY. I can't think of 1 good reason a man would not pursue a woman he is interested in. Well in my case, he initially didn't because I was his secretary. Once I made my interest known (after his not-so-subtle hints) he was right there. Link to post Share on other sites
Legend Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Well, I'm off to get ready for my hot date... one I initiated and the guy gladly welcomed! (And NO, it's not with Dave. ) Great! Where are we meeting!? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 in ref to those tests, seems I'm a 'pursuer' I'm not surprised. Have fun in Napa... Link to post Share on other sites
Legend Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 I'm not surprised. Have fun in Napa... No work till Monday, so I'll be drinking plenty of wine Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Lust is bad, m'kaay? Never say never, my pretty. Mr. Right will be the guy for whom you are willing to throw out the rule book. I love lust. I was lusting for someone just today, in fact. Pursuing men has NEVER worked out for me. And I finally realized why. It's because I generally go for very strong, powerful men. THEY are the ones that prefer to be in control and pursue a woman, not the other way around. Me chasing them made them lose their interest as it threw the dynamic out of whack. So no, Mr. Right is someone who will have the same views of courtship as me and knows which side of the call he wants to be on. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Thats fine.. We have differing opinions.. If I take a girl out, and like her, I will pursue her. So it is a non-issue. If she calls me the nest day because she is too impatient, that could put me off. If I do not pursue her, I did not like her. If she called me, it would not help. Every guy has his style and preferences. Nothing wrong with that. We all just have to find someone whose style complements our own. Arguing about this is like arguing about whether blue is the best color. Link to post Share on other sites
vonerik012 Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Well, I'm off to get ready for my hot date... one I initiated and the guy gladly welcomed! (And NO, it's not with Dave. ) lol Too funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Lust is bad, m'kaay? Never say never, my pretty. Mr. Right will be the guy for whom you are willing to throw out the rule book. Not really though! I "threw out the rule book" with the ex in asking him out and he turned out to be Mr. Wrong! Now I'm all confused here. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Not really though! I "threw out the rule book" with the ex in asking him out and he turned out to be Mr. Wrong! Now I'm all confused here. Well, it's still a bit of a lottery. We're all just trying to find our way in this crazy world. Simple arbitrary rules help make sense of things. We often can only function if we simplify the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Arguing about this is like arguing about whether blue is the best color. Exactly. I like pink. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Exactly. I like pink. That's reddish. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 Every guy has his style and preferences. Nothing wrong with that. We all just have to find someone whose style complements our own. Arguing about this is like arguing about whether blue is the best color. Exactly. If there's a rule book to follow, it's gotta be my own, and you gotta follow yours. I'm not going to live my life by someone else's style. There's plenty out there who will and do compliment me, just as there are plenty out there who compliment your style. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Well, it's still a bit of a lottery. We're all just trying to find our way in this crazy world. Simple arbitrary rules help make sense of things. We often can only function if we simplify the world. Hmmmm...you might be right. I think I need to go sit in the hot tub and ponder that one. I mean I can't even make my own damn pasta. JB, H said "pink is good" - whatever that means. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 JB, H said "pink is good" - whatever that means. LOL. Me likes H. He's porno. But Star, you're right. Everyone has to have their own rule book, and find someone with a compatible rule book. Just remember, you can always amend a play if it stops working for you. Baller taught me that... Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Just remember, you can always amend a play if it stops working for you. Baller taught me that... Did he teach you to cut block? Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Did he teach you to cut block? Something about duck and run. Or maybe that was 3 Doors Down. I forget. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 LOL. Me likes H. He's porno. But Star, you're right. Everyone has to have their own rule book, and find someone with a compatible rule book. Just remember, you can always amend a play if it stops working for you. Baller taught me that... Nooooooo! Ok, seriously, you do have to find someone with a compatible playbook. Well put. Just make sure they don't change the rules on you halfway through the game. Sucks when that happens. (Stupid ex!) And screw "amending" anything. What you need to do is tear the rule book up in shreds and stomp off the playing field. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 "Well, I figured if you were into me, you'd call me. I didn't want to push the issue." By Dave's rules, if a girl is into a guy, SHE contacts HIM. He probably had crossed you off and made that up when you called. He was very persistent and pursuing at first asking for dates every day and then nada. But if you start calling etc, he might go out just for sex. Link to post Share on other sites
djhall Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 What is with the insecure men who can't handle it if a woman takes the initiative to get what she wants instead of sitting around passively watiting for a man to make it happen? Why is that a turn off? A "real man" doesn't always need to be the initiator because he can handle it when he encounters a "real woman" who treats him as an equal and not someone to be demure and defferent toward. Link to post Share on other sites
vonerik012 Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Why does this always turn into calling men insecure? If the woman calls him after a date, then women will say the man is insecure as he waited for the woman to call. What is the scenario exactly? If I take a girl out on a first date, and she is calling me the next day to make future plans, I do feel like she is being pushy. Does that make me insecure? Link to post Share on other sites
djhall Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 If I take a girl out on a first date, and she is calling me the next day to make future plans, I do feel like she is being pushy. Does that make me insecure? It depends. Would it be pushy ifyou call her the next day to make future plans? Link to post Share on other sites
Balthazar Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Interesting thread. My opinion: If I have enjoyed a first date with a lady, I will call her and initiate a second date. The woman won't have to call as I will have done it already(after 2 or 3 days). If I don't enjoy the date, I don't call. What if she calls me before I call her? If I like her, I am OK with this and the 2nd date is on but I may form the impression that she is needy and desperate to start a relationship. It is much smarter on her part to wait for me to call. I guess it is OK for women to pursue, but I am much more comfortable when I do it. However, I accept that I may be too traditional in these matters. In any case, what really matters is my attraction. If I really like her, I don't think I would be put off by her pursuit. It is just that women who pursue usually are pushy and things don't work out for other reasons... CHeers, Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 It's been my experience that men - at least the men I'm attracted to - typically do not respond well to pushy women. It turns them off. Whether it's intended or not, they perceive female pushiness as emasculating. And calling a man after a date is perceived as pushy. The only time it works is when he's already totally besotted with you and there's nothing you can do about it, literally! No matter what you do, he's going to come after you. Link to post Share on other sites
vonerik012 Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Yes, men can be pushy too, and that turns women off. As an example, lets say the man gets home, and calls right after the date, trying to make plans for next weekend. Many women would be turned off at least a little. Or if he calls her 5 times the next day, etc. Here is the bottom line... If the man likes the woman, he will call. If she feels the need to call him first, it might be fine, or it might kind of turn him off. It will never change how he feels about her for the better. So why even call? Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Yep., but I wouldn't be opposed to her calling either. I agree with this Link to post Share on other sites
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