nyc1978 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 so here is my story: about 2.5 years ago i met an incredible guy online. i was 28 he was 41. he was married but his wife has known that he is gay since they married 15 years ago. he says that he was lonely and she was the most satisfying relationship that he has ever had. several years into the relationship she ended up cheating on him and he was so hurt that he decided to start being with men again. i believe he still loves her very much but part of him wants to hurt her as she has hurt him deeply as well. yes - i know the situation is not right from the start but it is what it is. so in all of this they have two children who i adore. i have spent time with the wife and the kids. about 6 months into our relationship i broke it off because it was long distance and it was just too much for my heart to be with a man that was ld, married and still sleeping with other guys. it was torture for my heart. also 6 months into our relationship - i found out that i had a chronic illness. he supported me through that - didnt want to hear too much about it but always let me know that he loved me no matter what. each time i time i see him my heart reverts back to the feelings i have for him. he tells me that he stills loves me and we talk about dreams together but he says he now loves me differently since i left him. he lives in a major city and i am smaller one in india. i could move there but i know its not the right decision as he has a family and could easily decide we are only friends as he does with many of the guys he has dated. but then he probably sees me as the guy that always runs away. so now im back at home and my feelings are all messed up. i love him so much and really have not been with a guy for sometime that make me feel this way. but its torture for my heart. i am not pleased that i am so dependent on him for happiness. i am not like this when he is not in my life. i just cant imagine my life without him. i know - it just take times and my heart will heal - but it helps to write it out.
norajane Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Yes, time will help heal your heart. You're doing the best thing for yourself by stepping away. It's hard now, but it will be so worth the hard work. Hang in there.
Agent_99 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 nyc~ I'm so sorry to hear that your hurting so badly. Does his wife know about all this, or does he hide it from her? I know that my X Husband and I had an open type marriage where I could date other women. Eventually it stopped because A. I couldn't truly be fair to anyone I dated, I was already in a long term R. and B. It was just plain hard to juggle two relationships. I know what you mean about the happiness thing. I hate to admitt it, but since I moved back home, where MW lives, I have been immensly happier. Part of it is getting my life back on track, having steady work etc. But part of it is getting to see her. I may get blasted for this, but have you talked to him about all this? ~99
TogetherForever Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 WOW ! That's all I have to say about this. TF
Terminator Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Agreed TF, this is such a mess, on so many levels.
signedin2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 nyc~ I'm so sorry to hear that your hurting so badly. Does his wife know about all this, or does he hide it from her? I know that my X Husband and I had an open type marriage where I could date other women. Eventually it stopped because A. I couldn't truly be fair to anyone I dated, I was already in a long term R. and B. It was just plain hard to juggle two relationships. I know what you mean about the happiness thing. I hate to admitt it, but since I moved back home, where MW lives, I have been immensly happier. Part of it is getting my life back on track, having steady work etc. But part of it is getting to see her. I may get blasted for this, but have you talked to him about all this? ~99 This is so confusing. Are you bisexual?
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