so gutted Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Im scared of pain/injury when having sex. I feel i am too tight for the entry. Its becoming a problem for me. Any tips. should i just "take the pain" . Men get fed up with all this messing around. When does it get pleasurable and how can i relax. the first few thrusts usually tighten me up more. I literally dry up.why is this?
Hopelessly_Devoted Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 if your with the right guy then you will "loosen" up... I had the same fears after my first relationship wwhich ended in may of 08...and well I experienced the pleasure of a new man and it was better than my last...even though his sausage was not as thick but you have to feel the person...if you get wet enough it will slide right in and hopefully you get the big "O":)
Author so gutted Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 why the heck do women want a big sausage ...isnt it more pain? at the moment i see sex as an exercise in torture. so how can i remedy this? and how will i know who the right man for the job is if i dont try it ? part of me wants to start sleeping around just to get some expereince but i know i couldnt carry that plan out in detached mode.... does it hurt more when it is going in or when its actually in?
Author so gutted Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 and how the heck do married people and people in live in relationships cope with SEX each day??
Lizzie60 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 May I ask you something.. Are you on BC pills?
Author so gutted Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 No im not - why do they help?
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 So_gutted how many times have you had sex so far? You don't need to sleep around to get experience, that will only guarantee you contracting an std from a stranger. Best thing to do is buy a dildo and practice. And you can always practice with your fingers.
Lizzie60 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 No.. sometimes they are the cause.. Well.. I'm not sure what to tell you.. even if we say 'relax' it's easier said than done for you.. you can't relax if it's torture.. it's just not possible.. Have you seen your gynecologist? maybe he can help you.. it could be physical.. because really this is strange.. it is always painful the first few times.. but not as you describe it..
Lizzie60 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 So_gutted how many times have you had sex so far? You don't need to sleep around to get experience, that will only guarantee you contracting an std from a stranger. Best thing to do is buy a dildo and practice. And you can always practice with your fingers. great advice.. and put lots of lube..
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 No im not - why do they help? BC pills reduces your chances of getting pregnant if you plan to sleep around. But there are adverse side effects so you need to see your doctor about the right kind of pill for you.
portcitykitty Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 I've always had a problem myself. I've had sex with 3 men, and EVERY SINGLE TIME, that first poke killed me. I think in my case, it's nerves, I tense up, but after a few slow easy pokes, I'm fine. I'd be plenty wet down there, but that didn't mean anything. The size of the penis didn't mean anything either...each of the 3 guys were different, and it was still uncomfortable. I need to learn to relax more, I know! Maybe it's your nerves as well...you can try relaxing more. Or you could have a more serious problem called dyspareunia, or something else. Do some research, or check out a doctor. Hope things get better for you!
Author so gutted Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 no i wil not sleep around. i think its easier if you do that when you are younger as as you get older (in my case) i think too much so i couldnt sleep around carefree. twice. wasnt too bad. but second time it hurt afterwards a lot - my insides. BUT AT LEAST I DID IT. Now im back to square one and cant seem to progress. it seems awkward. almost like it wont fit inside me. can my hole be too small?
Author so gutted Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 i have tried too overcome this in th epast by DRINKING. Big mistake...helps me relax but i start talking cr-p or insulting the man. so slower pokes make it easier?
Lizzie60 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 could be.. who knows.. only a doctor can tell..
Author so gutted Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 the doctor previously told me to relax as this THINKING is ruining a big healthy part of my life.
Kamille Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 The first thing you should do is eliminate the possibility of any physiological reasons for your discomfort. consult your doctor. S/he will be able to help identify whether the pain you feel is caused by biological reasons. The vagina is an elastic muscle - or rather, I should say, a muscle deigned to be elastic. Most women do not feel pain after their first sexual encounter (and then the pain is generally caused by the rupture of the hymen). Your doctor will likely diagnose you as suffering from Vaginismus: an uncontrollable tightening of the muscle which makes penetration painful. Vaginismus is attributable to many factors: from (rare) physiological problems to (most often) psychological or relational factors. The fact is, sex shouldn't hurt. If it does, your doctor is your best ressource to help you figure out what is going on.
portcitykitty Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 no i wil not sleep around. i think its easier if you do that when you are younger as as you get older (in my case) i think too much so i couldnt sleep around carefree. twice. wasnt too bad. but second time it hurt afterwards a lot - my insides. BUT AT LEAST I DID IT. Now im back to square one and cant seem to progress. it seems awkward. almost like it wont fit inside me. can my hole be too small? No, your hole's not too small! It's pretty elastic and can stretch to fit a baby!
Author so gutted Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 does it hurt the man? how should it be inserted? in a few thrusts or one big one?
Kamille Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 the doctor previously told me to relax as this THINKING is ruining a big healthy part of my life. Sorry I missed this when I was posting. I find this to be quite dismissive on your doctor's part. My sister is a gyno and she takes sexual discomfort quite seriously. My physiotherapist even specializes in women's complaints. I don't know what to tell you other then another doctor might have given you advice that was more supportive. Obviously you need to relax... The question is, why aren't you relaxing?
Lizzie60 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 No, you're hole's not too small! It's pretty elastic and can stretch to fit a baby! How do you know that? Have you seen her hole? It could be too small even for a baby.. first off .. the baby comes out from the other way.. and it's all 'naturally' prepared to come out.. BUT sometimes the 'passage' is too small and the mother needs a C-section.. so she could be too small down there.. maybe she should have the doctor examine her..
portcitykitty Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 This article might give you some insight http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/female-pain-during-sex
Author so gutted Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 i think i havnt had enough sex to determine a problem yet...but as u know i overthink - so imagine how much thinking i do before sex....its crazy. the first time was not nice at all becuase i wasnt aware it was going to happen and i felt the rip. that was mental torture. the blood was disturbing.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 If you've only had sex twice, then your vagina hasn't been penetrated enough to stretch it out. That is why it's important to practice on yourself so as to reduce any vaginal pains when you actually do the deed. Also, it could also be a psychological problem. Considering your last few threads, it seems you have alot of issues. They need to be addressed as they could be affecting why you're not comfortable with sex.
Author so gutted Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 i also dry up when a guy wants to come and doesnt care about how i feel.
Lizzie60 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 the doctor previously told me to relax as this THINKING is ruining a big healthy part of my life. Did he actually made a physical exam? or were you just 'talking' about it..
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