ismellsogood Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 There's a guy at the gym that I'm very attracted to (the way he looks, the way he treats the other peole at the gym, the energy he gives off, etc.). However, I have no idea where to take it from here. I got out of a 4 year relationship 1 year ago, and it was a very close relationship, almost like being married. So for a long time I had trust issues and just wanted time to myself. While I was getting over him, I fell for a classmate of mine in college, and he ended up rejecting me pretty bad and kind of humiliated me because he disrespected me so much. So...I am very "anti-approaching" right now. Basically, I refuse, and I am really not in the most self-empowered state when it comes to guys and even get kind of paranoid. However, I am pretty great with talking to everyone else, and I know I'd be fine if he approached me. What kind of things can I do to let him know that I am approachable without approaching him? I think he's a little older than me (I'm 24), and he goes to the gym alot with friends that are obviously older than I am (I'm guessing close to 40). However, he def looks younger, yet still older than me. Definitely professional too. I go there with my sister who's almost the same age as me... OK obviously I'm clueless and feel like a little girl about this.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 I have no advice for you. As I myself stink at this stuff. I also have a gym crush that makes me feel all nervous. But my crush is in my age group. We play alot of eye hockey but he never talks to me. Yet he does talk to alot of attractive females in the gym. Funny how men can make us feel like little girls isn't it? Have you ever made eye contact with him?
Rudyard Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Try putting yourself in front of him, by going over to where he is working out and you do your own thing next to him. Smile and make eye contact so it shows you have a warm welcoming presense and maybe that will cause him to want to approach you.
djhall Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Asking as a guy, why can't you just go up to him and say hi? Introduce yourself. Tell him you see him there often and thought it would be nice to know a name to go with the face. See what he says? Worst thing that will happen is he introduces himself and then lets the conversation drop. Best case scenario is he takes advantage of the situation and runs with it.
Shygirl15 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Approaching random men in real life can be pretty challenging. At this point we don't know if he's dating someone, committed, married, gay etc so I would advise to dig out some little information about him before you subject yourself to an awkward situation. Has he ever talked to you?
Green Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 I say just randomly go up and talk to him, or just say "hi" and thats it. He'll start thinking that girl who said hi to me must like me and he'll either as you out or not. And if he doesn't ask you out its not really rejection because maybe he had a gf, or maybe he was just shy.
girlygirl25 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 I agree with the others who say that you should go up and talk to him. Just saying "hi" probably wouldn't do much damage. Are you the shy type? If so, randomly going up to him may be a little difficult. I am shy myself, so I know how scary it can be to approach a guy you don't know and talk to him. (it's easier when you have some alcohol in you!) If you see him on a machine or something you could go over and pretend that you want to use the same machine. Break the ice by asking if he is done with it. You could even pretend to be unsure how to use the machine, so that he will show you. Those are all good ways to break the ice if you are scared. If you arent scared, then just go for it! He may be attracted to you since you took the initiative!
sultry33 Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 damn im in exactly the same place as you.. i have recently come out of 4 yr rs and i like a guy alot normally im shy but not too shy when i have had a drink he has made a flirty comment to me.. said i made him blush;) and for some reason i cannot talk to him.. i go to jelly he stands near me.. right in front of me and i get butterflies.. we have eye contact he will smile back i did my homework found out he is single but very shy he has been told i like him and he raised his eyebrows in a flirty happy way, he also said im lovely;) last night he gave me a light for my cigarette.. damn we was like inches apart an i still could barely speak.. i am so into him .. i did give him my num over month ago but i was really drunk so 1/ may have written it wrong 2/ he had to run an help security so may have lost it i did say take it quick lol my friends say he looks at me so im unsure what to do.. i would say op... do your homework, nothin worse than rejection. my friends gave him a kiss on cheek as we left the club.. i just walked on.. my friends went nuts said they did it so i would..
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