Adonis7 Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 I have been using both free and paid sites for the past 2 months or so and I have had absolutely no success what-so-ever. My profile is very well written, I am attractive (I'm at a solid 8.6 so far on hotornot), and I'm successful. Before you even ask, I don't send out generic emails, I actually take the time to read a woman's profile then email her regarding it.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 First of all, don't you think it's kind of childish to allow people to judge you on your looks, especially on a site like hotornot? Most of the people on there are pretty superficial, and posting on a site like that makes me question whether you need to have people tell you whether you're pretty or not to boost your ego. And online dating isn't definite. It doesn't necessarily work for everyone. You can go on dating sites and meet singles such as yourself, but you can never place so much emphasis on it. You need to expand your horizon and actually try to socialize with people in real life.
Star Gazer Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Hotornot? "Adnonis" Something tells me it's all about the way you present yourself. I had a guy who thinks pretty highly of himself - as demonstrated by his picture selection - who was quickly vetoed.
Stung Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 i gotta agree with what the ladies before me have posted, adonis. you could very well be coming across as a little full of yourself, or 'plastic'-y. hotornot, really? how old are you? overall it's hard for us to say without actually seeing your profile, though. also, there's this: two months is not a long time. relax. women are picky, and you have to remember that every woman you write to is probably getting at least ten or twenty other letters that day...it's the nature of the beast. that you're genuinely reading their profiles and responding to them thoughtfully is great, don't stop doing that. make sure you're really doing it though...i got a letter on one site from a gorgeous man that was long, well-thought-out, overall quite interesting. i wrote him back, we did some back and forth. a little while later i got the exact same first letter from him on a different site! first AND second letters came through exactly the same with only minor variations. realizing that he had sent me the equivalent of a form letter with only minor personalizations was a HUGE turn-off, and i never bothered with him again. anyway, analyze how you might be coming across, ask any female friends you might have to review your profile or letters, if you don't mind them seeing such personal stuff. remember confidence is good, but cockiness is too much. also you might want to look into the sites you're on, i expirimented with several different dating and social networking sites over a couple of years and discovered that some really are much better than others re: quality of matching and people in general. and don't get discouraged, seriously, two months ain't ****. just try to get exposed to interesting new people and have fun, make new friends if nothing else. that's how i approached it and a year later i met the man who turned out to be my lover, best friend, fiance and father of my child.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Give us an example of the type of email you might send a woman you are intersted in? A rough draft of sorts. We women can be picky and fickle. I have been turned off by attractive guys emails to me for one reason or another. A little more insight to this part of it would be helpful.
Author Adonis7 Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 First of all, don't you think it's kind of childish to allow people to judge you on your looks, especially on a site like hotornot? Most of the people on there are pretty superficial, and posting on a site like that makes me question whether you need to have people tell you whether you're pretty or not to boost your ego. And online dating isn't definite. It doesn't necessarily work for everyone. You can go on dating sites and meet singles such as yourself, but you can never place so much emphasis on it. You need to expand your horizon and actually try to socialize with people in real life. I really use hotornot to determine what the best pic to put up is since I have no idea which one looks the best in other peoples eyes. It has nothing to do with a ego boost. And yes I actually do socialize with people in real life but also do online dating on the side.
Author Adonis7 Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 Hotornot? "Adnonis" Something tells me it's all about the way you present yourself. I had a guy who thinks pretty highly of himself - as demonstrated by his picture selection - who was quickly vetoed. Of course I present myself highly...what am I suppose to do, put myself out there as the "average guy"? What would distinguish me from every other guy?
Star Gazer Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 You're not getting it. Do you have "posed" pictures? Shirtless pictures? Pictures of yourself wearing the typical lame striped shirt, or now ever-popular Affliction tight T? Do your pictures make you look vain? Or do you look fun? Easy going? Friendly? Active? While also, coincidentally, attractive? There's a big difference. The fact that you even use hotornot speaks volumes, IMO.
Star Gazer Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 I really use hotornot to determine what the best pic to put up is since I have no idea which one looks the best in other peoples eyes. You should put up pictures that look the most like what YOU think you actually look like on a day-to-day basis.
freckles73 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Your profile is probably too limiting. Like perhaps you only specify blue eyed blondes who are athletic and between the ages of 21 and 25 within a 5 mile radius of your home. So even if you email someone outside of those specifications, as soon as she reads your profile, that 32 year old curvy brunette with green eyes who lives 25 miles away isn't going to respond because she thinks you're going to bail as soon as Ms. Barbie comes walking by.
djhall Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Of course I present myself highly...what am I suppose to do, put myself out there as the "average guy"? What would distinguish me from every other guy? I've wondered about this. By definition, the majority of us have to be "average". I would perfer to present myself as someone who is modest and has an awareness of my own imperfections as opposed to someone who is egotistical and impressed with my own grandeur, but I fear the result would appear to be the profile of a loser with delusions of adequacy.
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