BCCA Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Hey all, Just need some friendly advice about my situation. A few weeks back, I emailed me ex to ask her if she wanted to get coffee. She said maybe not just yet. I said no problem. So today, I get an email asking if that offer is still on the table. My initial reaction is this. First, Im not responding until Monday at the earliest. Next, I was leaning toward saying I would get back to her when I had some time, since I AM actually a little busy (have 2 dates over the weekend) and I just dont feel like dropping anything for her. My other option is to delete the email altogether. I know, its better...but I'm a person that likes to give people enough rope to hang themselves, and my curiosity is peaked. Thoughts?
2sunny Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Hey all, Just need some friendly advice about my situation. A few weeks back, I emailed me ex to ask her if she wanted to get coffee. She said maybe not just yet. I said no problem. So today, I get an email asking if that offer is still on the table. My initial reaction is this. First, Im not responding until Monday at the earliest. Next, I was leaning toward saying I would get back to her when I had some time, since I AM actually a little busy (have 2 dates over the weekend) and I just dont feel like dropping anything for her. My other option is to delete the email altogether. I know, its better...but I'm a person that likes to give people enough rope to hang themselves, and my curiosity is peaked. Thoughts? delete the message (and the past) and move forward. go have fun on your dates.
sid3 Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 I think you should go out and have fun on your dates. Take a couple days before you respond and see how you feel about it then......
Author BCCA Posted September 5, 2008 Author Posted September 5, 2008 I think you should go out and have fun on your dates. Take a couple days before you respond and see how you feel about it then...... That was my plan. I think that's the most solid way to handle it. I know deleting the email and completely forgeting the whole thing works as well, I just want to give it a weekend before doing anything rash.
audrey_1 Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Don't do anything rash! Definitely go and enjoy your dates, then reassess the situation. On the other side of this weekend, a lot of interesting things could have happened. Who knows what frame of mind you will be in then?
CaliGuy Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 a) Go on your dates. b) Don't think about your ex this weekend. c) Get back to her sometime next week when you've had time to mull her over.
Author BCCA Posted September 5, 2008 Author Posted September 5, 2008 a) Go on your dates. b) Don't think about your ex this weekend. c) Get back to her sometime next week when you've had time to mull her over. Solid advice as usual. This is exactly what I'm going to do. Audrey, that was my thought, too. I don't want/need to make any decisions today.
Author BCCA Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 After discussing it a bit with my doctor, I actually replied LATE Friday (4:45 so she wouldnt have a chance to respond) that I was busy this weekend, and to let me know if she wanted to get together next week/weekend. Well, bright and early this morning I get an email saying how about tomorrow night. Instead of going along with her plan to go get food, I suggested that she come with me to run a couple errands (going by a department store to clothes shop primarily). That way, there is no real chance to discuss too much right off the bat. Either way this goes, I feel good that I've been looking out for myself and not just going along with what she says. Once you finally stop doing things to "make them think x" and start doing what YOU want to, you realize how much 'in control' you can be. Im interested to hear anyone's thoughts.
Ingenue Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 I may be the only one who thinks this, but I wonder whether clothing shopping with your ex might be construed as a personal thing? I just remember the times I went shopping with my ex (when we were going out) that it seemed like a more-than-casual time. I had input into what shirts he should try on, what colours to purchase, and whether he looked good in things. Also bear in mind that you and your ex have unresolved matters and this is the first outing, which may prove awkward. You do have two dates over the weekend and if something (not that I'm suggesting it will) unpleasant transpires in conversation between you two, you don't want that conversation to push you into a mood where you want to cancel the dates.
Author BCCA Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 I may be the only one who thinks this, but I wonder whether clothing shopping with your ex might be construed as a personal thing? I just remember the times I went shopping with my ex (when we were going out) that it seemed like a more-than-casual time. I had input into what shirts he should try on, what colours to purchase, and whether he looked good in things. Also bear in mind that you and your ex have unresolved matters and this is the first outing, which may prove awkward. You do have two dates over the weekend and if something (not that I'm suggesting it will) unpleasant transpires in conversation between you two, you don't want that conversation to push you into a mood where you want to cancel the dates. The dates are done Went well actually. I went over the weekend, which is part of the reason I put her off until this week. My original post was from Friday of last week. I feel that sitting across from each other drinking coffee could prove to be awkward, and getting out to do SOMETHING would lighten the mood and take away any pressure.
Ingenue Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 Ack, sorry BCCA. Clearly my eyes did not see the dates of your postings. Either that or I'm suffering from an "it's Monday" moment. Glad to hear your dates went well. I agree with your assessment that a coffee date has too much pressure and wouldn't recommend it. I just feel that buying clothes is a bit personal, but I'm probably quirky. I used to buy clothes with male friends every now and then, but after encountering awkward moments where they insisted on seeing the outfit and then making a comment about how hot it looked, I just stopped doing that. I don't have problems going clothing shopping with my gal pals though.
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