Melrapuo Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 And I didn't mean to. My friends and I were pulling up to a bar around 12:30 last night, when I see her crossing the street. I'm like "O no...what do I do?" But I decide to just get out of the car and help the guy in the backseat out as well, since it was a two-door. She walks by, and my instinct makes me turn around and want to say something to her. Instead though, I turn back to my friend and keep helping him out of the car. The guy DRIVING, however, starts saying random ****, like calling her a bitch and whatever (he just hates her in general). I told him to stop and continued pulling up the seat so the guy in the back can get out. She works a few buildings away from the bar, but it was late at night at her job closes at 7pm, so I didn't expect her to be going there. It was just some random even that I didn't imagine happening.When I got in the bar I felt like ****. I didn't say anything to her, but just seeing her was enough to make me feel like crap. She dumped me for another guy awhile back. She left that guy after a month, leading me on during that time. Then when it ended with him, I went to see if she if she wanted to try again. She instead said she wanted to date other people, but said I would be one of those people. In a sense, she doesn't wanna commit. This is where I gave up. She tried to contact me every two weeks, seeing what was up with me and talking about stupid stuff. Made me feel like I was being put in the friend zone. I even met up with her one day thinking that she wanted to fix things, when in reality she was hooking up with another guy the night before, and the proceeding two days afterwords. I sent her a goodbye e-mail a couple Sundays ago (saying we can't be friends,) which got a decent response, but I had hoped for something a little more heartfelt. I'm not sure if she didn't want to say goodbye or just didn't give a crap, but o well. Eventually I told myself to knock it off and I had fun at the bar with my friends (I did). Didn't get home til 4am (don't have school on Fridays). But this morning I woke up remembering what happened, and my heart was racing. This seems to happen every morning, really. My heart just pounds away. And I've been really miserable this week. I've cried 5 out of the past 6 days because I'm accepting that its over, even though part of me wishes there was still a chance. So a few questions - did I handle things like I was supposed to? Is seeing her in public without acknowledging her considered a form of contact? Its something I used to do to a girl who broke my heart in high school. Part of me always wants to just say hi, part of me doesn't. Is it normal for me to feel this way? Its been almost 3 months since the actual break up (she wanted a break a couple weeks before the actual end). I can't tell if this is a step forward or backward. Kinda just bummed, really.
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