horriblewoman Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Okay so... Despite my ex holding onto old pics of me, etc. He still told me he felt it was best that we move on. As I began to do that he would send me mixed signals up the wazoo. Last night he told me he really cared for me a lot. Then, he found out- that I found out- about a girl he was talking with after our split. I didn't act upset, mad, etc. He still took it upon himself to contact me and give me a big explanation of the number of times they got together- and explained it was only to talk about the breakup bc she was going through something similiar-that nothing romantic was involved-and also any flirting he does with other people means nothing to him. He also brought up how he was extremely sad and depressed after we broke up. He's the one that wanted to break up! Now he's writing me like I'm still his gf and he has to explain himself when he doesn't. My point is, I'm no fool. He still loves me, I can see that plain as day- I still love him too- WHY oh WHY does he keep pushing me away?
gd26 Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 People do this for their own ego boost. Plus, he may think that you aren't right for him... but since he isn't quite sure about his next prospect, he may just want to string you along until he is sure about someone else (that way you are still a backup). I know this hurts, but I have been through it myself. Someone who really cares about you will make certain that you are clear how much he cares about you. There won't be any mixed messages. You will KNOW.
BleuStar Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 I agree. My ex gave me mixed signals all the time when we were dating...I finally realized that he didn't like me enough to tell me how he really felt and was probably waiting around until someone 'better' came along.
angel24 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 hi, i am in a kind of similar situation, that the ex contacted me to explain things about why we broke and his actions, which there was really no need for him to do. it has left me feeling really confused, he said he cares for me as well and thinks about me. its been 2mths nc since we split. it could be a guilt/ego thing, testing the water or that they are missing us. but if they are feeling as bad as us, because they realise they still love us...then they will be in touch again, if there feelings are strong.
Habibti Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Wait, i'm confused... It's an ego boost for an ex if they make themselves look vulnerable by re assuring you that they haven't met anyone else, their flirting with others means nothing to them, and that they are torn up over the break up?
BCCA Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Wait, i'm confused... It's an ego boost for an ex if they make themselves look vulnerable by re assuring you that they haven't met anyone else, their flirting with others means nothing to them, and that they are torn up over the break up? It is if they can get the impression for you that you miss them. If he's torn up over the breakup, why are you still broken up? You kind of have to put aside what people say sometimes and think about it realistically. He can call you whenever he's not dating some one (and probably lonely) and tell you how he's hurting from the breakup, and you probably tell him you feel the same way, care for him, etc. He doesnt even have to be your boyfriend to get the feeling that there is a woman out there who cares for him, IF he wanted to go back. Its also a way of keeping tabs on 'Plan B' (you).
Author horriblewoman Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 It is if they can get the impression for you that you miss them. If he's torn up over the breakup, why are you still broken up? You kind of have to put aside what people say sometimes and think about it realistically. He can call you whenever he's not dating some one (and probably lonely) and tell you how he's hurting from the breakup, and you probably tell him you feel the same way, care for him, etc. He doesnt even have to be your boyfriend to get the feeling that there is a woman out there who cares for him, IF he wanted to go back. Its also a way of keeping tabs on 'Plan B' (you). Well, he didn't get any such thing out of me. All I told him was, it isn't necessary to tell me these things because it isn't my business and I'm not owed an explanation. I do believe he is genuinely torn up, however I can't understand why we aren't back together either. He might not be ready, but it seems he is starting to open up again.
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