Ronni_W Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Hugs, JJ. I'm shooting angels on over to you...they are carrying a spectacular, delightful and totally new experience on their wings, for your imminent enjoyment. (Not sure what it is cos they said it ain't my business . But they assured me that they are practically knocking on your door, already!)
Author jj33 Posted September 12, 2008 Author Posted September 12, 2008 Thanks Ronni. Much appreciated. I know he doesnt mean badly its just his coping strategy but it tugs at my heartstrings. Will look out for those angels!
Author jj33 Posted September 13, 2008 Author Posted September 13, 2008 Just venting again. Its like the universe is conspiring to test me.... what different things can happen so that we are forced to collaberate closely and act as each other's protector without causing me to crack. Someone MM and I know professionally approached me with knowledge of a problem noone wants to hear about and noone wants to have and has decided that we are the people to fix it for him. I told him I couldnt help and neither could MM. This person insisted that MM would do it "for him" and that after he spoke to MM (MM doesnt know about this yet) MM would explain to me why it was OK to do this. Its a delicate matter and I wont do it and have spent most of the day emailing MM and discussing as best we can by email how we are going to make this person understand that we arent going to do his bidding. MM has assured me he agrees with my position and we will stand together on this. Hopefully we will speak tomorrow. Its great I can trust MM, he has my back, I have his. We are an effective team. So why am I complaining. Its great that we have managed to maintain our solidarity. The guy thought he would regale me with tales of details of MMs personal life and after a few minutes I said I had a professional relationship with MM, he hadnt confided these details of his private life to me and I didnt feel comfortable discussing these things - his marriage, his friends, certain financial matters that this man knew about things I really dont care to know if MM doesnt tell me. The guy just looked at me and said he speaks very highly of you. I simply said I think highly of him too but that sort of thing is none of my business (I just couldnt deal with spending half the night talking about MM). I was telling a friend and he said this guy knows and really lots of people know. You wouldnt have complained about hearing this stuff if there wasnt something between you. My position is yes we are fond of each other but thats not a crime. The PA has been over for more than a year. Theres no law against being fond of each other. For the most part we limit our discussions to work. I hate the idea that people would know now so long after the fact when they never knew while it was on. It just makes me shake my head. I keep reminding myself that having someone you can count on is great. This doesnt stop me moving on with my life unless I let it. But the mind does wander.... hes got so much integrity, so much compassion, he deals with it all with such grace and humour.... Then I remind myself so what? Even if he finally got the balls to leave, who knows if we would even work out together? You think so, but an A is so far from a real full time relationship that there are no guarantees, particularly in this case when our worlds are so far apart. Not to worry I am not weakening and even if I was there is nothing to weaken to - he doesnt want an A. Just venting.
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