oceanbreeze Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Hello fellow LS-ers, Here's a little update: it's been about 4 months since my last post. I was extremely distressed at that time.. it had been about 9 months after my break up and nothing was better. I was in constant contact with my ex, he was my best friend, he was my everything. I thought things would get better.. i thought he would come back.. but i was wrong time after time. He chose his schooling.. his career over me..i just wasn't a priority and he probably didn't even love me. So I followed the advice of LS and started NC. Well, i shouldnt make myself sound so courageous.. as he did leave town for the summer and closed himself completely from me. So really, i guess i had no choice but NC as he ignored me.. and you could tell that he really wanted nothing to do with me. So that's my long story short.. and 4 months later.. NC continues (hooray for me ). But he's back in town and i know i will bump into him either at school or just anywhere. And for sure, he'll be at my friend's party as we do have the same friends. Actually, i'm kinda amazed that we haven't bumped into each other yet...maybe he's avoiding me too?.. but my problem is.. i cannot face him. I don't know what to say to him at all. Before he left, things ended kinda badly.. and i'm not sure where i stand with him. What should i do? Should i actively continue to avoid him? Should i make the first move in reconciling? I feel like i should be the bigger person because i know he won't ever make the first move for anything.. but at the same time.. why should i be the bigger person? He ignored me.. he was probably angry at me.. and i was nothing but nice to him. Perhaps i clung onto him too much after we broke up.. but it's not like he didn't lead me on! I guess there were wrongs done on both our parts. I really don't know what to do now.. because all my friends say that i should just talk to him and see what happens.. but they don't understand.. they don't understand how horrible it makes me feel when he's rude to me.. I know i shouldn't care.. but i do. Does anyone know what i mean? sigh. I thought i was clear out of danger.. i survived months of NC! But now that he's back.. i dont' knwo what to do. Am i suppose to be friendly even if he's completely not? Am i suppose to go on like nothing's happened? Or should i just not go to places that i know he'll be at? But how long can i avoid him for.... Thank you in advance for all your insights. P.S. i'm a living example that things do get better.. just in case any of you felt like i did when the break up happened. I'm stronger.. i'm healthy.. i still feel like crap some days ..but it's better. I kept telling myself that life is going on without me.. nobody is stopping to say .. "look at that poor girl!".. instead they are just walking past and shaking their heads. Nobody wants someone who is broken and unwell. I will not be the person that needs attention. I will be someone useful.. and hopefully someone else will be able to notice and appreciate me for who i am. I wish the same to all of you!
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