Trialbyfire Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 If some guy told me he went commando right up front, I would also not be attracted, regardless of the rest. Hygiene anyone?
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 5, 2008 Author Posted September 5, 2008 If some guy told me he went commando right up front, I would also not be attracted, regardless of the rest. Hygiene anyone? LOL Well apparently just in jeans ... I was mainly thinking not comfy! A guy going commando in Jeans just isn't the same as a woman wearing a dress with no panties!
Sks Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 If some guy told me he went commando right up front, I would also not be attracted, regardless of the rest. Hygiene anyone? How does that effect hygiene? Just curious as to the thinking behind that.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 5, 2008 Author Posted September 5, 2008 How does that effect hygiene? Just curious as to the thinking behind that. Do we really want to know the answer to that? Really? lol
Sks Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Do we really want to know the answer to that? Really? lol Yes, I don't see the difference between skid marks on jeans and skid marks on boxers. Boxers are not impenetrable, if you had a mess big enough to go through jeans I assure you that those boxers wont make a difference.
vonerik012 Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Yes I do prefer a man to do the pursuing. Career-wise: I don't really care what the career is as long as he has a job, goals are a plus. Work hours can be a factor like the last guy I dated, his hours were 4-12(midnight) and some Saturdays. Which doesn't leave much time for dating, never mind seeing a partner. But that's not the reason we didn't continue. Looks-Wise: I like hair, guys if you have hair why do you shave it? Please don't! hee hee Also I like a guy who is at least a few or more inches taller than I am since I am 5'4. (taller the better but wouldn't not date someone cause of being shorter) Ok and I do have a I have a thing for black guys with puffy curly hair and light eyes. Hmmm anything else ... Not into the preppy abercrombie/hollister guys. I expect honesty, respect, to hold doors, pay for the meal (though I will offer half) and no games. Black guy with light eyes? LOL.. Can you find anything more difficult to look for?
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 5, 2008 Author Posted September 5, 2008 Yes, I don't see the difference between skid marks on jeans and skid marks on boxers. Boxers are not impenetrable, if you had a mess big enough to go through jeans I assure you that those boxers wont make a difference. LOL That's what I meant, didn't want to think about those things in general even though it's obvious (because boxers have a purpose).
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 5, 2008 Author Posted September 5, 2008 Black guy with light eyes? LOL.. Can you find anything more difficult to look for? Didn't mean it was something I look for (or only want), it's a sweet spot for me. Like Gary Dourdan on CSI hee hee. In general, say for black guys I do like the head of puffy curly hair (controlled fro). On all guys hair vs shaved! Regarding mr commando, he sent me about pic (I didn't call him) and nope I am not attracted at all. More gray then brown and just looked like he would be friends with my Dad. If I wouldn't wanting to kiss them just on looks alone, nothing I can do. Not looking for looks alone but hopefully you know what I mean.
Trialbyfire Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 How does that effect hygiene? Just curious as to the thinking behind that. Underwear keeps everything contained and is one more layer between the man and other people. Think public chair or bench or anything shared of this nature. Same goes for the woman, except that with women, it's worse in jeans or tight pants. Friction from seams, can cause greater vaginal secretions.
Walk Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 This is what you wrote that you want: Guy must want kid. Guy must want a commitment. work shouldn't be first on his list (come before everyone else) Have a job, preferably first shift. Have goals He must be honest and respectful. Honest, respectful, confident (not cocky), sense of humor.** I assume you would want humor that matches your own so that narrows it some.** A Non-smoker Should be 5 years above and below in age. Not look older - Not salt and pepper guys Man should do the pursuing Have hair. Taller then 5'4" Not Preppy looking. Should hold doors. Should pay for meals
Walk Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Regarding mr commando, he sent me about pic (I didn't call him) and nope I am not attracted at all. More gray then brown and just looked like he would be friends with my Dad. So you're saying that you're willing to throw this guy away without knowing who he is because he has gray hair? I don't find every man I see attractive based on looks alone. There are numerous times in my past where I ended up crazy about a guy who initially didn't fit my idea of what I liked in looks. My H does not fit what I thought I wanted in looks. If I'd tossed him aside because of his hair color and the fact that he "looks" closer to my parents age then mine, then I wouldn't have had the experience of being loved by such an amazing man.. and I'll add... a man who wanted a commitment, kids, marriage, consitently opens doors for me, and pays for meals. I dont' even notice his hair color. He's a sexy, handsome man regardless of his hair color. If I wouldn't wanting to kiss them just on looks alone, nothing I can do. Not looking for looks alone but hopefully you know what I mean. If you never give a person a chance because you've already discounted them for their looks (I'm not even talking about men who are obese, or have rotting teeth.. I'm talking about gray hair) then you can't claim you aren't focused on looks alone when you refuse to even have a first date based solely on his hair color. This guy seems to meet everything you're looking for EXCEPT for hair color and you won't even give him a shot. I hope you find what you're looking for in a guy... but honestly, I think your priorities are out of whack.
djhall Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 This is what you wrote that you want: Should be 5 years above and below in age. That one alone eliminates every man on earth
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 This is what you wrote that you want: Guy must want kid. Guy must want a commitment. work shouldn't be first on his list (come before everyone else) Have a job, preferably first shift. Have goals He must be honest and respectful. Honest, respectful, confident (not cocky), sense of humor.** I assume you would want humor that matches your own so that narrows it some.** A Non-smoker Should be 5 years above or below in age. Not look older - Not salt and pepper guys Man should do the pursuing Have hair. Taller then 5'4" Not Preppy looking. Should hold doors. Should pay for meals They weren't all written in stone or deal breakers. Most were would be nice kind of things because TBF asked me and I responded. I did say what my deal breakers were, which weren't many. Honest, respectful, want kids and want to date with relationship potential (not commitment phobe). I don't think that is too much to ask!
Sks Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Underwear keeps everything contained and is one more layer between the man and other people. Think public chair or bench or anything shared of this nature. Same goes for the woman, except that with women, it's worse in jeans or tight pants. Friction from seams, can cause greater vaginal secretions. Have you looked at the frabic of boxers? Its hardly strong, I think the only line of defense would be jeans. When I sit on a public bench I already expect feces to have been smeared all over it. Germs are everywhere, you can't run, you can't hide - you just have to accept it - its not like you don't already share all those things when you use a public restroom. cheeky - Seems to me what you want is pretty mundane and easy to find, there are allot of people that match that criteria. I certainly have a far more specific set of requirements for females.
vonerik012 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 They weren't all written in stone or deal breakers. Most were would be nice kind of things because TBF asked me and I responded. I did say what my deal breakers were, which weren't many. Honest, respectful, want kids and want to date with relationship potential (not commitment phobe). I don't think that is too much to ask! That is basically every man on earth. But, he must want to be honest WITH you, respects YOU, wants kids WITH YOU, and a relationship WITH YOU. Do you see the difference? That could be any man on Earth, if he likes you.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 So you're saying that you're willing to throw this guy away without knowing who he is because he has gray hair? I don't find every man I see attractive based on looks alone. There are numerous times in my past where I ended up crazy about a guy who initially didn't fit my idea of what I liked in looks. My H does not fit what I thought I wanted in looks. If I'd tossed him aside because of his hair color and the fact that he "looks" closer to my parents age then mine, then I wouldn't have had the experience of being loved by such an amazing man.. and I'll add... a man who wanted a commitment, kids, marriage, consitently opens doors for me, and pays for meals. I dont' even notice his hair color. He's a sexy, handsome man regardless of his hair color. If you never give a person a chance because you've already discounted them for their looks (I'm not even talking about men who are obese, or have rotting teeth.. I'm talking about gray hair) then you can't claim you aren't focused on looks alone when you refuse to even have a first date based solely on his hair color. This guy seems to meet everything you're looking for EXCEPT for hair color and you won't even give him a shot. I hope you find what you're looking for in a guy... but honestly, I think your priorities are out of whack. The thing is you don't know me and I don't even think you have paid attention to everything I said. I am more open minded and give people the benefit of the doubt and have given guys a chance more than anyone I know. I didn't say that I turned him down only because his hair was gray, it was a number of things. For your info I was engaged to someone who I fell in love with meeting on a website that was just people with a like interest. Most woman on here wouldn't have even looked at his twice, so don't tell me about out of whack priorities. I turned him down because I wasn't comfortable with the age gap of 13 years (going older some may not think it's so bad, but you go younger and that would be dating a 17 year old), I just couldn't connect to the age difference and wasn't attracted to him. More than the age and gray hair but yes part of it. You can't make yourself be attracted to someone your not.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 cheeky - Seems to me what you want is pretty mundane and easy to find, there are allot of people that match that criteria. I certainly have a far more specific set of requirements for females.Thank you. Well good for me, proves I'm not asking for much. That is basically every man on earth. But, he must want to be honest WITH you, respects YOU, wants kids WITH YOU, and a relationship WITH YOU. Do you see the difference? That could be any man on Earth, if he likes you.I need to first find a guy who has these qualities, then of course someone who directs them towards me. I do know just because they aren't directed towards me, that doesn't mean they don't have them. Though I would think if someone is an honest person who shows respect they would be to everyone, just wouldn't want to be in a relationship with everyone. (you would hope anyway! lol) Walk - Some woman would have turned him down on the commando issue alone!
Walk Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 They weren't all written in stone or deal breakers. Most were would be nice kind of things because TBF asked me and I responded. I did say what my deal breakers were, which weren't many. Honest, respectful, want kids and want to date with relationship potential (not commitment phobe). I don't think that is too much to ask! Yeah you said what your deal breakers were. But you're not discarding men based on a deal breaker. You're discarding based on gray hair and 13 year difference in age. (What you called a "like" but not neccesary to have.) Do you see what I'm saying? Not that you're wrong for having those limits, but you aren't being truthful about how many limits you've put in place. If honesety, respect, want kids, and relationship potential were ALL you're asking for, then there are numerous men out there that fit that (you just had one nearly beating down your door). You can't say you don't have more limits then those, when you just proved you did by turning down the age difference. I have limits I imposed on who I wanted to date also... It's not a bad thing. But be honest about what yours are. Your actions just proved that a 43 year old would be immediately ruled out. No exceptions. Wouldn't matter if he met all your base criteria or not. He's out. Don't tell me most of the items on that list were "likes" while you toss away men who could have met "must haves" you listed. You said all the rest of the list "would be nice to have" but not deal breakers. Your actions said the "would like to have" was a deal breaker -Your words aren't matching your actions. Like I said, you can choose based on whatever criteria you want. But you're not being honest about what's important to you. If you lie to yourself then you'll keep being frustrated with life.
Walk Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Walk - Some woman would have turned him down on the commando issue alone! Yup... I may have too. But you weren't turning him down based on a commando issue.
vonerik012 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 I guess my point it is you find out if people are honest down the road. People do not say "Hi, nice to meet you, I am a liar". How do you find out first if he has this quality? And you do seem to have looks as a main priority. I know you are not limiting yourself to this, but to say ytou have a thing for a black man with light eyes, makes me wonder about your thought process. If you ever find one, then will you have chemistry, and will he fit all your other needs? It is like me saying, "I have a think for Asian girls with natural blond hair" . Why would I even be thinking in those terms?
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 Yeah you said what your deal breakers were. But you're not discarding men based on a deal breaker. You're discarding based on gray hair and 13 year difference in age. (What you called a "like" but not neccesary to have.) Do you see what I'm saying? Not that you're wrong for having those limits, but you aren't being truthful about how many limits you've put in place. If honesety, respect, want kids, and relationship potential were ALL you're asking for, then there are numerous men out there that fit that (you just had one nearly beating down your door). You can't say you don't have more limits then those, when you just proved you did by turning down the age difference. I have limits I imposed on who I wanted to date also... It's not a bad thing. But be honest about what yours are. Your actions just proved that a 43 year old would be immediately ruled out. No exceptions. Wouldn't matter if he met all your base criteria or not. He's out. Don't tell me most of the items on that list were "likes" while you toss away men who could have met "must haves" you listed. You said all the rest of the list "would be nice to have" but not deal breakers. Your actions said the "would like to have" was a deal breaker -Your words aren't matching your actions. Like I said, you can choose based on whatever criteria you want. But you're not being honest about what's important to you. If you lie to yourself then you'll keep being frustrated with life. Yup... I may have too. But you weren't turning him down based on a commando issue. Yes those are the deal breakers but that is with my head, there is always other things that you can't control. You can't control if there is chemistry with someone, they may be perfect for me on paper but you can control chemistry. Same goes for attraction, I can't control that I am not attracted to him. I don't feel an attraction to someone who looks like a buddy of my father. It wasn't that he had gray hair, it just added to the aging and lessened the attraction. It's not about the number, if he didn't look like a buddy of my father and looked like differently and I was attracted then I would give it a try.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 I guess my point it is you find out if people are honest down the road. People do not say "Hi, nice to meet you, I am a liar". How do you find out first if he has this quality? And you do seem to have looks as a main priority. I know you are not limiting yourself to this, but to say ytou have a thing for a black man with light eyes, makes me wonder about your thought process. If you ever find one, then will you have chemistry, and will he fit all your other needs? It is like me saying, "I have a think for Asian girls with natural blond hair" . Why would I even be thinking in those terms? Yes of course you have to get to know them first, but if you do find out they are a liar obviously it's going to end. It wasn't meant on things to know before you date someone, they are things a potential partner must have or else your not meant for each other. Not at all, that was just a sweet spot of mine. I'm sure everyone has a certain type that make them say "Damn!" LOL But know that there soul mate won't look like that. ->I just said I thought black guys with a fro and light eyes were attractive, just a type I have a sweet spot for. I don't only look for that look, I don't look for any "look"! Asian girls with natural blond hair? Come on now, that is just exaggerating and blowing what I said out of proportion. If I has said a black guy with freckles, blue eyes and a blond fro then I would think I was crazy! Light eyes meaning, light brown, gray, gray-blue. It's also not that rare, especially with mixed races. A girl friend looks like that (black, brown hair and blue eyes) but she is a she! I just said I thought black guys with a fro and light eyes were attractive, just a type I have a sweet spot for. I don't only look for that look, I don't look for any "look"! Is someone asks me about a man's looks, what I am attracted to and I answer. You can't then jump on that and say that what I look for is looks! I didn't bring it up! The deal breakers I said never mentioned looks.
vonerik012 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 They weren't all written in stone or deal breakers. Most were would be nice kind of things because TBF asked me and I responded. I did say what my deal breakers were, which weren't many. Honest, respectful, want kids and want to date with relationship potential (not commitment phobe). I don't think that is too much to ask! I just think you are not being honest, and filling a list with things that mean nothing. So if a guy who works at McDonalds is honest, respectful, and wants kids you will marry him?
Trialbyfire Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 sbc, just stick to what works for you. Don't let someone else tell you what you should be looking for or what you should be attracted to. Having said that, as Walk mentions, just know and accept what you're attracted to.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 I just think you are not being honest, and filling a list with things that mean nothing. So if a guy who works at McDonalds is honest, respectful, and wants kids you will marry him? That's not what deal breaker means. It means that to be with them they have to have those qualities. For example I won't date someone who doesn't want kids, when I do. If we are to have a relationship or marry, that's different. There is a lot more involved, chemistry, personality and so on. If he works at McDonalds but can support the family and is perfect for me, then why should that matter? sbc, just stick to what works for you. Don't let someone else tell you what you should be looking for or what you should be attracted to. Having said that, as Walk mentions, just know and accept what you're attracted to. Thanks TBF. No one knows but me. I know what I am and not attracted to and you can't change that, even if you wish you could. I know I did start the thread but it was about if one should try and open more options. Though it was turned into taking one bit of info and making all opinions based on one thing. Also that one item wasn't even relevent.
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