Author Mako482 Posted September 5, 2008 Author Posted September 5, 2008 Good advice. There is a difference. However, me thinks Mako may just be a little too invested a little too soon, to be objective about the path upon which he is about to stroll/trip/have his guts lay in front of him on a rock. The "challenge". Treat her like crap on your shoe. Call her bad names, forget intentionally to call her and question her weight/looks about once or twice a week. Ignore her for at least 3-4 days out of the week then show up as if nothing bad has happened. Be real cocky and playfully hurt her in a myriad of ways. Can you do that? No sir, I cannot. Too invested too soon? Possible, but I don't think so. I have a woman here who has expressed a serious interest in me in many ways and I in her, we are connecting on a high level and the chemistry is awesome. This has developed over a month's time and it is just now getting to the point where I am not thinking about any other women (she doesn't have to know that!) It's tough to connect with someone like this and still go out on dates "trying out" other women. At this point I know what I want, and anyone else would be settling. If it doesn't work then I go back to square one again. My goal in all this dating stuff is a serious relationship, as is hers. Did I mention we met on eharmony btw? That might make a difference too, it caters to relationship oriented people. So anyway that is where it is...I'm taking it as slow as I can control, just going with the flow. Invested? Sure, because I would be very disappointed if it derailed right now so I guess I am. Saying that, how do you know when it's too soon? I've tried to slow a natural course before and I ended up pushing a woman away because of it. I am just going with the flow here.
flc Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 It's not worth trying to be someone you're not for a girl who would dump you for calling her or actually considering her feelings. And how long could you keep this front up? She would probably end up getting bored and dumping you later rather than sooner anyway. Life has enough drama in it without bringing that drama into relationships. People who thrive off drama can't have much going on in their lives. Agree 100%, not worth the effort. It will just make you crazy if you have to try and figure out what to do to make her happy.
nicki Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 There's a big difference in saying "I want a man to be himself. To be kind, yet strong. Have boundaries. Have interests. Look out for himself, but put others before him when necesssary. I want a man with his own mind who can talk about his vision with passion." And saying, "I like a challenge." That would suggest to me a selfish attitude of "Entertain me. I like drama. Treat me well and I will run. I'm dysfuntional and don't think I deserve love.Just to let you know. You have to keep me interested because I'm not interesting enough myself." You've got to be with someone who can give and RECEIVE love and who wants a normal life. That's a mark of maturity and emotional balance. It takes vulnerability and strength to be open to receiving someone's love. I learned a long time ago (and after a long marriage and divorce) that I shouldn't have to convince anyone to be with me or try to keep their interest. If I have to do that, they are not a good match for ME. You sound mature, loyal, smart and funny. Great qualities many women will adore. Of course, during the dating processs, one runs into many kinds of people. As someone else said, you have to "vet" possible candidates for your love and attention.
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