CandyGirlXO Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 I will try to make this short. I broke up with my BF after 3 years, because of our constant fighting and him being verbally abusive to me. We broke up in May, stopped talking for a few months, wound up talking a little bit. He moved to Las Vegas, and he wanted me to go visit him, to just have fun. He wants to try to work things out, I don't want to at this time but figured it would be fun to go visit him. I have been lonely also. So I go there and he didn't warn me that his roommates have cocaine all over their apartment. He knows I don't like drugs. He only smokes pot. I asked him if he had been doing coke, and he told me no. Then about an hour later his niehbors came over and offered him and I a line. I said no thanks. He is all pressuring me like, "Come on CandyGirl just do it, its not a big deal" I said no I don't want to. He didn't either. But then later on the next day he did some coke before we went out. I told him I did not want to talk to him anymore, and I did not want to sleep with him either. Then we go out and I was completely ignoring him, and I started talking to his friends. This guy gets up from the bar and grabs my side and my ass. My EX sees that and I guess from his angle, thought we were making out. We get a cab, I thought everything was fine. Then we get off around a 7 eleven and he starts yelling at me! He basically walked really fast and left me in his apt complex parking lot. I didn't have my phone on me, I didn't know where I was. He just left me. I looked for a while, and finally found his car. I rang the doorbell, he wouldn't let me in. So I rang it 20 times knowing that his roommate was sleeping, so he would have to answer the door. He starts throwing me my things telling me to get the F out of there, and that no one wants me there. I told him nothing happened. This guy just randomly grabs me (which he knows happens all the time) This goes on for a while he tells me he is going to take me to the airport right now. We get into his car, then he pulls off to the side and starts yelling at me again. I walked out to the 7-eleven to call a cab. He comes in crying telling me to just go home with him. Back and forth, back and forth. We get kicked out of 7-eleven. I go back to his place, I tell him I need to sleep it was 5am, and that we would talk about it in the morning. About a half an hour later he gets pissed again, tells me to pack again he will take me to the airport, I said fine packed again. We get into his car and he starts crying about how he is going to kill himself, and why did I do what I do. Telling me to write a check to myself from him for $600 because he is going to kill himself he doesn't need the money. (he owed me $300 for the trip) I mean it was completely nuts! I felt so stupid for going over there because no one knows I went to go see him. I feel bad for him because I think he feels like no one likes him. And even though I am not in love with him I still care about him, and I want him to have a good life. He keeps telling me that cocaine isn't addicting, and I don't need to worry. Anyways I learned my lesson. I am not going to see him anymore. I had to tell him I would so that he would give me back my money and so that he would drive me to the airport, but I am not planning on going out there again. It was horrible. He has not changed at all.
watermeloncandy Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 sounds like you learned your lesson about him. i'd never contact him again, if i were you. completely block him out of your life. he's definitely Trouble.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted September 4, 2008 Author Posted September 4, 2008 Yeah I know! I guess the point of this post, was because I just feel so bad for him. I feel like he feels like he never fit in and was never one of the guys. I know this isn't my fault, but I just feel so sad for him. And I am worried, he is telling me cocaine isn't addicting.
watermeloncandy Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 i know it's hard when you care about someone and you see them leading a life down a destructive path, but in the end, they are an adult and they chose their own path. it's not up to us to help them (i say as i'm arranging counselling for me ex...ugh). shake your head and walk away....
orangehose Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Wow, yeah, this guy is bad news. I know you care about him, but probably the best thing you can do for both of you at this point is to not be friends... at least for a long while. Also, if you know your ex still wants to work things out, and you're sure you don't, it is best to not have a friendship until those feelings have gone completely away. I've seen numerous instances in which a dumper has stayed friends (in a well-intentioned way) with a dumpee, and it has just taken the dumpee that much longer to get over things.
0hpenelope Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 I can relate to this! But my association with the ex is nowhere this horrible as yours is. I'm sorry to hear... Lesson learned, right? NC! He's not a healthy influence at all. I had to cry mine out for a little bit just to get it out of the system, but I'm ok now. My 'problem' today is sleeping in even though I woke up on time, but I realized I would rather have this problem that any ex problem. I hope you feel better soon.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted September 4, 2008 Author Posted September 4, 2008 Thanks for the replies! It is hard for me because I expected us to have a blast when I was there. I pictured us just laughing about the good times. I was hoping to eventually maybe get back together as long as he kept going to counseling and we took it slow, but now thats out of the picture. It was completely not what I expected, and I just can not believe it. I am hurt too, because I know if we would have stayed together he wouldn't have gotten into this mess. I know that its not my fault and he is an adult, who makes his own decisions. It just makes me so mad, that he is supposedly trying so hard to get me back, but I go there to see him and this is the way he acts! I mean he left me in the middle of his complex and I didn't know where he lived! I didn't have my phone on me! He said to me, well I thought you were making out with that guy. I mean even if I was he should not have left me there!!!! I mean I could not believe it! It also just hurts because for example on how he doesn't feel like "one of the guys" The guy that grabbed my ass and side, my EX had been buying him drinks all night. So he got upset because this guy did that to him.
seminoles84 Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 sure as hell is fun! lol.. but that was college. Gotta grow up sooner or later.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted September 4, 2008 Author Posted September 4, 2008 Yeah thats exactly it, he just needs to grow up! It just sucks for me because he knew that my brother had a cocaine addiction, and so did a few of my aunts, and my mom when I was growing up. He said to me, "I used to think it was a big deal until I tried it and realized it wasn't anything really." He is prescribed Aderall for ADHD, and he says that cocaine and Aderall are about the same. So then I said to him well then what is the point of doing cocaine if its the same as Aderall? He didn't really know what to say besides, "well its fun" I am just so worried that he is going to become addicted, but I guess there is nothing I can do about that. Its his choice to choose that type of life style. I mean this is besides the point, but are there people on here that are willing to admit that they occassionally do cocaine when they go out? It is such a dissappointment to me. I really was just expecting us to have fun and I thought he stopped doing pot too so that he could pass his drug tests for interviews. Turns out he has something that he can take that will make him pass UA's anyways.
Trimmer Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Anyways I learned my lesson. I am not going to see him anymore... It was horrible. He has not changed at all. If you have any moments of weakness, remember these points.
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