JooLee Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 life is truly better without them, but how do you get pass the feeling of loneliness and missing the companionship?
Ingenue Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 For me, it's about learning how to be comfortable in your own skin again. In my relationship, we both had separate lives but also came together. I never lost my core group of friends or stopped doing the things that I loved doing. But since the break up, I've found more energy to do more things. I cook and bake more often, see friends more often, read a book on the couch or just spend some hours infront of the idiot box watching a bad rerun. You're only lonely if you feel lonely inside. Learn to love spending time with yourself again. Maybe you can pick up a new hobby, make new friends, volunteer at an organisation. You'll find that the more time you spend on you, the less time you'll think about your ex. For me, it's been about 2.5 months since I was dumped and compared to those initial days, I'm doing quite well being a single again. Sure, I occasionally get wistful moments when I think about the companionship that my ex provided. But I realise that healthy relationships require each partner to be whole and complete on their own. The companionship is just the icing on the cake. Good luck. Trust me, it'll get better
watermeloncandy Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 i wondered that myself ... even just the other day. but i know that i've been single before and been absolutely fine, and can do it again. if you've been single, then you know you'll be OK. if you haven't, then, when you are ready, take this as an opportunity to get to know yourself better. doing things alone can make you very independent and can actually be of benefit in your next relationship. yeah, it sucks thinking about how you'll never do those little things again with him. but it does take time to get over it. my ex got me into bowling. last night i started on a new league at the same alley. met new people, but it was hard. i was teary-eyed several times during the night thinking about how much i missed him not being there and how we'll never bowl together again...but i'm sure as time goes on, i'll get to know these new people, make new friends, and stop missing him. it's cliche, but true, time heals all wounds.
orangehose Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 It really does take time. At first, I followed the routine "post-breakup" "get yourself out there" advice but would still feel lonely when leaving a party or coming back to an empty room, etc. After some period of oxytocin withdrawal, you don't feel the sting as much, however... Granted, there are still ups and downs, and just because it's been months and you've had a good week or two doesn't mean you won't have another span of days in which you feel down or lonely... But after a while those ups and downs are just a part of life, rather than a consequence of the loss of a relationship...
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