SoulStorm Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 When I was in the military I told my roommate that his girlfriend was cheating on him with several men. No I was not one of them. Was he devastated..yes he was. He cried right in front of me. But he thanked me because she was making a fool out of him. Am I glad I told..yes. Am I sorry he was devastated...yes. But he was able to make a decision based on the "truth" and not deception
lkjh Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 What is wrong with the world? Marlena, you give her praise for being sensitive about her mothers "mid-life crisis" but you could give 2 S***'s about what she did to her father. This is just horrible, the fact we have people out there like this. No wonder 50% of marriages end in divorce, people only seem to care about themselves. Lizzie66, you actually think its good for people to "get some on the side"?
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Lizzie, I am disgusted by the awful "advice" you are giving in the thread. Like audrey, I was the victim of a cheating parent--but much more recently (just a few years ago). I had had a feeling he was cheating on my mom for a while, and told her so, but she didn't take me seriously. A year later, she started tracking the mileage on his car after finding another woman's picture in his wallet, and surprise!--I was right. They divorced, and thank god for it, because it allowed my mom her first happiness since starting that sad excuse of a marriage. I know how foolish and ashamed my mom felt after this, and if I could do one thing over again, I would have gotten some proof and convinced her I was right, and spared her a year+ of being lied to. The fact is, when someone is cheating, it's not just the cheated who is affected by it--it is their entire family. My brother and I felt just as betrayed as my mom. How dare you accuse audrey of being "proud" of breaking up her family? The one who made that choice was the one who cheated. A child, no matter what age, should never be blamed for that.
audrey_1 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 The fact is, when someone is cheating, it's not just the cheated who is affected by it--it is their entire family. My brother and I felt just as betrayed as my mom. How dare you accuse audrey of being "proud" of breaking up her family? The one who made that choice was the one who cheated. A child, no matter what age, should never be blamed for that. Thanks. And true. So Lizzie should be careful on her exploits. Their children are paying attention, maybe more than she knows.
Darth Vader Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Lizzie, I am disgusted by the awful "advice" you are giving in the thread. Like audrey, I was the victim of a cheating parent--but much more recently (just a few years ago). I had had a feeling he was cheating on my mom for a while, and told her so, but she didn't take me seriously. A year later, she started tracking the mileage on his car after finding another woman's picture in his wallet, and surprise!--I was right. They divorced, and thank god for it, because it allowed my mom her first happiness since starting that sad excuse of a marriage. I know how foolish and ashamed my mom felt after this, and if I could do one thing over again, I would have gotten some proof and convinced her I was right, and spared her a year+ of being lied to. The fact is, when someone is cheating, it's not just the cheated who is affected by it--it is their entire family. My brother and I felt just as betrayed as my mom. How dare you accuse audrey of being "proud" of breaking up her family? The one who made that choice was the one who cheated. A child, no matter what age, should never be blamed for that. AMEN to that!
Darth Vader Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 To the poster of this Thread, Your father will find out about your mom screwing other men, eventually. Someone else may tell him, he may find other evidence, or whatever. But, if he finds out that you knew, and didn't tell him, he may HATE you for the rest of his life, because, your actually help your mom against your dad, so, in a sense, you're helping your mother to cheat on your father and hurt him! How would you feel if this was done to you, and no one told you?
Darth Vader Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Why are people always telling other people to not tell the truth? Is it fair to hide something like an affair because in all honesty it will devastate the betrayed one? Hiding the truth never helps a situation. The truth is like water in a weakened barrel, it will eventually get out. People on here can tell you anything corizon, tell, don't tell, it's all up to you. You have to live with your decision. But can you handle it if your dad did find out that you knew, but you never told him? He'd feel like you were against him as well!
SoulStorm Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Lizzy Sucks! Period! Don't know much about lizzie, but this advice she gives seems detrimental to one's mental health
Darth Vader Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Don't know much about lizzie, but this advice she gives seems detrimental to one's mental health I agree! From what Lizzy has posted in the past, she was a BS herself. Now, she's an OW. I don't know if this is a way for her to get back at people or because she may have insecurities, or whatever. But she knows that two wrongs don't make a right. She may just do it to piss people off, I dunno........
GPFan Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Yes, it is amazing how some people will tell the "truth" no matter how many lives get devastated.Hi marlena, I am curious. Why is relaying the "truth," so much more deleterious than the behaviour which spawns the dilemma. No sympathy is expressed for corizon having been placed in a position which is entirely unfair to her, only damning exhortations of what a horrible person she would be to even think of telling. A poster on this thread has been excoriated for doing so even though they were a twelve-year old child at the time. Please help me make sense of this!
Trimmer Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I bet you're proud of yourself.. sad.. that was a selfish thing to do.. so you could hear yourself think.. geezzz.. You're taking the actions of a 12-year old child to task as selfish, when she was presented with a parent having an affair? Wow - while your opinions seldom match mine, they are usually better thought out than this...
marlena Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Corizon, I am sorry about the pain that your mother's indiscretion and, yes, betrayal has caused you. I can only hope that one day you can put all this mess behind you. You are facing a moral dilemma and I know how tough they can be. Do what you feel is right. If not telling your father feels right, then, stick with that. If telling him is something that you feel you have to do, then, take that road. Whatever you decide, think deeply and hard and reflect on the consequences to all,especially to yourself. You should,however, have it out with your mother. It will be catharctic. Do not hold back any feelings. Tell her exactly what her irresponsible and thoughtless action did to you. If she is remorseful, see if you can, in time, forgive her. Staying bitter will only drip poison into your heart and you will never be happy. Oh, and ditch that sore excuse of a friend.
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