lkjh Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 First off why does everyone keep calling corizon a she? I thought since corizon's best friend is a boy he would be one. Second Lizzie how can you tell someone that there parents infidelity is none of there business after all the mom is cheating with their friend. Judging by your post I feel sorry for you. You always Identify with the OW someone you doesnt hold any real place in a mans life except for some action on the side and now you don't seem to believe that families should be involved in each others life. Did your parents teach you anything about committment and morals?
Sks Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Shut up yourself... No it's not the children's business what the parents do behind closed doors.. sorry.. Parents are role models and must be held to high standards, whores should not be parents but that is another thread. Kid, tell your dad or all you will ever think about is what your mother is doing.
Darth Vader Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Shut up yourself... No it's not the children's business what the parents do behind closed doors.. sorry.. NO! I won't! YOU SHUT UP! It's her parents, and the fact that one of them is screwing the other over, literally, is hurting her too. BTW, Lizzy, how would you feel if one of your parents BANGED one of your so called friends and made you a laughing stock! Well, in your case, you may like it! Talk about embarrassment! So, YEAH! It IS her business! She's getting directly hurt by her mother's actions!
Darth Vader Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Parents are role models and must be held to high standards, whores should not be parents but that is another thread. You took the words out of my mouth! Kid, tell your dad or all you will ever think about is what your mother is doing. Lady, you really don't need this stress of carrying this secret on your heart, you have enough stress on your heart from carrying your unborn child. The less stress you carry, the better, for both you and your soon to be newborn.
Trimmer Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 First off why does everyone keep calling corizon a she? I thought since corizon's best friend is a boy he would be one. Her profile lists her as a "female", and in another thread she participated in, she posted that she is 31 years old.
GPFan Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 My dad is a soldier and was off to war , my mom cheated on him many times , including wiht my best friend , if itold my dad it woudl destroy him , so i wont , does this make me my moms enabler? I don't see it as enabling, I see it as being between a rock and a hard place. Your Dad's in a stressful, potential life-threatening situation right now. This may not be the time to place the burden of this knowledge upon him. Maintain a log of dates, times, names (if you wish). When your Dad returns from overseas and has settled in a bit, quietly place your notes in an area where he, and only he, will find them. Alternatively, you could take him out to dinner and present your notes at that time. Discuss what you have observed if your Dad wishes to do so, then drop it. He will handle it from then on out. I am so very sorry your Mother has placed you in this difficult position. I'm not saying it's cool... I'm just saying that it's not any adult child's business what their parents are doing.. simple..This is not good advice in my opinion. Your perspective comes from your role as one who actively pursues cheating men as well as not desiring to have your Daughter -- who is married and raising an infant you adore -- learn of your part-time career in the sex industry. You have a lot to lose, I assume, should your role in any of this be exposed. You cannot, from your point-of-view, provide objective unbiased advice to those suffering at the hands of cheaters.
Darth Vader Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Maintain a log of dates, times, names (if you wish). When your Dad returns from overseas and has settled in a bit, quietly place your notes in an area where he, and only he, will find them. Alternatively, you could take him out to dinner and present your notes at that time. Yes, record all the times and dates that you can about her actions! But, don't let him settle in before you tell him, after all, you don't want your dad to have sex with your mom knowing that she may have contracted an STD. Perhaps it could be HIV, AIDS! You'd lose both your parents. This is not good advice in my opinion. Your perspective comes from your role as one who actively pursues cheating men as well as not desiring to have your Daughter -- who is married and raising an infant you adore -- learn of your part-time career in the sex industry. Agreed. Daughter?
Author corizon Posted September 13, 2008 Author Posted September 13, 2008 Wow , so many of you took the time to share your opinions with me , thank you all for your good advice , Yes I am an adult , I am 31 years old and so is my best friend of 12 years, Yes while dad was away she hung out wiht us , I felt bad for her all alone in theyre house , while dad and my sister where overseas serving , sepereate overlapping tours of duty , so i invited her to come stay with me , and she did , at first it seemed OK liek she was just alittle flirty and i figured she was lashing out at the fact that after 28 years in and a million promises to get out he was still in and in fact voluntarily switched to a unit being deployed less then a year after his other unit came home ( he was home right at a year i think when he left again ) she said the army was his mistress and she was tired of being the only one faithful , combine that with the gastric bypass she had the year before and the begining of menopause and i think we can safely say it was her midlife crises, she has not stepped out on dad since he has been home that i know of , and i hope she never will again , my dad is a very caring , organized christian man who takes his word very seriously, I would hate to rain on the comfort of his twilight years by makinghim see what my mom did , It is a heavy weight to carry and will forever be a silent shadow i will feal when aroudn my dad, but is the unburdening of my load worth my fathers peace? after weighing that i said No , he did nothing to deserve the pain cheating brings ( trust me i know it well ) so I willl not tell him BUT i did speak with my mother and let her knwo i woudl not be a party to anything ever of that sort , and to leave my friends alone , more then that is her buisness , i just dont need her telling me about it , and from this last year i have learned that i will never cheat , it hurts to many and is incredibly selfish and in the end i think it ways on the one doign the cheating , karma will get you in the end i think , they cheat on one they shouldnt have or one to many times and then loose it all , well yall again ty GROUP HUGSSSSSS 1
lkjh Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Congrats!!! You screwed your dad over in the worse way by allowing this to happen to him. Your mom cheated with your friend and all you did is tell her not to do it with your friends. What are you going to say if your dad finds out or if he catches an STD? I really hope I never have a daughter like you. The army was not his mistress that is just you justifying what your mother did. You should at least give your father the right to know and decide what to do. Don't make that decision for him 1
Lizzie60 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Good! you took the right decision.. from what I read, her life is not a piece of cake.. so why can't she have a little fun on the side.. it probably won't happen again. and like you said, most of all, it's not your business.. you are not a kid.. would you like your parents to interfere with your personal intimate life.. I bet not. The best 'tool' you have is your communication and openess with your mother..
audrey_1 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 He's not a criminal.. geezzz.. get down your high horses for a second.. we don't even know this friend's age.. or even the OP's age.. I presume she is a young adult.. that has no business in her parents' personal life.. and I presume the 'best friend' is also a young adult therefore there is no sexual abuse.. But her mom is CHEATING on her father, and not hiding it, and cheating with her friends, which is classless. It isn't behind "closed doors." Otherwise, how would she know? I speak from personal experience with this. As a teenager, I revealed my mother's affair to my father. Things blew up. It got messy. Divorce ensued, but you know what? They had a dysfunctional marriage, screamed a lot, and afterwards? I could hear myself think and had some peace. Yes, this BS is a soldier, and that is admirable, but cheating is cheating regardless of profession of the BS. I say tell. Suffer for no one, not even your parents. It's setting a rotten example, and it's not her cross to bear.
Lizzie60 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 But her mom is CHEATING on her father, and not hiding it, and cheating with her friends, which is classless. It isn't behind "closed doors." Otherwise, how would she know? I speak from personal experience with this. As a teenager, I revealed my mother's affair to my father. Things blew up. It got messy. Divorce ensued, but you know what? They had a dysfunctional marriage, screamed a lot, and afterwards? I could hear myself think and had some peace. Yes, this BS is a soldier, and that is admirable, but cheating is cheating regardless of profession of the BS. I say tell. Suffer for no one, not even your parents. It's setting a rotten example, and it's not her cross to bear. I bet you're proud of yourself.. sad.. that was a selfish thing to do.. so you could hear yourself think.. geezzz..
marlena Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Corizon, You did the right thing. They are adults. Let them take care of their own lives and you go on with yours. If living at home gets hard on you, then, just leave. I also commend you on your showing understanding and compassion for your mother's mid-life crisis. I want to believe that your mother has realized what a mistake it was on her part to get herself involved with your friend and will never repeat it again. She is fortunate to have you on her side. Hopefully she sees that.
theobserver Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Yeah.. she's fortunate to have a spineless daughter . Listen 31yr old "kid" you just justified her behaviour and she is going to continue. She now knows you'd never tell her father she just has to avoid sleeping with people you know. You've taken in the advice from the wrong people on this forum. Most of the people who told you not to tell your dad are serial cheaters or are cheaters who have been forgiven by their partners. All they do is justify cheating throughout the forum for whatever reason.. mostly to make themselves feel better. I can't fault them people do make mistakes and they do whatever they can to prove people can change and they can. Your mother though... she's done some horrible things. This wasn't one fling while your dad was away. I think people really need to think about that. One including your good male friend (I bet you liked him too is that why you said stay away haha you seemed more concerned about her staying away from your friend then your own betrayed father) Sure your friend is an adult.. as is your mum albeit in a long marriage where she knows the deal and could of walked from your dad if she was tired of him continually going off serve nothing stops her from leaving and nothing can stop her from opening her legs for another sausage. As for your friend, well you must be very forgiving, I 'd like to know what kind of conversations you have. Has he told you your mum was the best p*ssy he's ever had? I bet he talks about it with the guys gets to bone your mum and possibly you in time as you still tag along like a wet dog. I find you are just as low in morals as your mother, don't be surprised if you end up doing the same things when your older. If you want to be different you woudl of told your father not do the exact same thing she is by lying to make yourself feel better. 1
Lizzie60 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 What's wrong with people.. how do we know that the father (gone most of the time) has never cheated.. The army has a reputation you know.. I've heard lots of stories about army guys (I've been with a few). She knows about the mother cause it happened close to her.. 1
marlena Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Most of the people who told you not to tell your dad are serial cheaters or are cheaters who have been forgiven by their partners. Oh, really? Do we know eachother? You are making some ridiculous assumptions here. (I bet you liked him too is that why you said stay away haha you seemed more concerned about her staying away from your friend then your own betrayed father) Another mean and classless assumption. from leaving and nothing can stop her from opening her legs for another sausage. How crude!! Is this how you get your kicks? Being obnoxious to strangers on the internet? Grow up, for heaven's sake. The OP has more maturity than you ever could.
Trialbyfire Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Maybe the father did it with a unicorn too! We can make up all the what-ifs we want but realistically speaking, we have factual evidence that should be addressed, not fairy tales of what might have been... corizon, if you've already decided on your course of action, why ask? It seems you have no conflict inside of you.
marlena Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 I 'd like to know what kind of conversations you have. Has he told you your mum was the best p*ssy he's ever had? I bet he talks about it with the guys gets to bone your mum and possibly you in time as you still tag along like a wet dog. I find you are just as low in morals as your mother, don't be surprised if you end up doing the same things when your older. Now, this is plain sick. I have never alerted the mods but this time I am very much tempted to do so. 1
SoulStorm Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Why are people always telling other people to not tell the truth? Is it fair to hide something like an affair because in all honesty it will devastate the betrayed one? Hiding the truth never helps a situation. The truth is like water in a weakened barrel, it will eventually get out. People on here can tell you anything corizon, tell, don't tell, it's all up to you. You have to live with your decision. But can you handle it if your dad did find out that you knew, but you never told him?
Lizzie60 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Why are people always telling other people to not tell the truth? Is it fair to hide something like an affair because in all honesty it will devastate the betrayed one? Hiding the truth never helps a situation. The truth is like water in a weakened barrel, it will eventually get out. People on here can tell you anything corizon, tell, don't tell, it's all up to you. You have to live with your decision. But can you handle it if your dad did find out that you knew, but you never told him? Because even the best therapists will tell you that not all truth is good to say..
marlena Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Because even the best therapists will tell you that not all truth is good to say.. Yes, it is amazing how some people will tell the "truth" no matter how many lives get devastated.
Trialbyfire Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 That's assuming that life should be lived with blinders on. Not everyone wants this. Some actually prefer truth but with their best interests at heart.
SoulStorm Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Because even the best therapists will tell you that not all truth is good to say.. And therapists are always right? No they are not. Ask the best ones if their advice was always right.
SoulStorm Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Yes, it is amazing how some people will tell the "truth" no matter how many lives get devastated. Shielding someone from the truth will only make it worse once the truth finally comes out. You are only prolonging the inevitable. If someone does not want the truth then don't give it. But at least give them the option to know it
audrey_1 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Now, this is plain sick. I have never alerted the mods but this time I am very much tempted to do so. Yes, that is harsh. I bet you're proud of yourself.. sad.. that was a selfish thing to do.. so you could hear yourself think.. geezzz.. Wow. It would never cross my mind to be "proud" of revealing such a thing. I told my dad because the guy she was cheating with called the house and was incredibly rude to me, and I was 12 years old, confused, but smart enough to realize what the implications could be. I posed a question to him like, "What would you do if mom cheated on you?" To which he responded by hiring a private investigator and finding out for himself. And the man she was cheating on him with was a married minister with eight children. My father has also cheated on my mother. They did it to each other, but I didn't know about my father's affair until later, and yes, I did want to hear myself think. l I was a young child, whose parents were more concerned with their own drama than their children. They were immature, didn't communicate properly, and treated each other like s-it. My brother and I were 12 and 9 respectively, and we were left at home with no supervision while they wre out doing their thing. Lucky for us, I was quite the precocious child, so we made our way, but I refused to feel guilty, harbor anger, or be slighted at their stupid, f-ed up adult expense. I wanted MY space and time respected, and I wanted my time spent at home to be enjoyable. You're damn right.
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