Arsenic_Child Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 So I have a quick question. How many of you went NC (you were the one who was dumped) and the Person who Dumped you came later down the road and asked for another chance?
BCCA Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 So I have a quick question. How many of you went NC (you were the one who was dumped) and the Person who Dumped you came later down the road and asked for another chance? I did. And you know what happened? She left me again about 13 months later. You need to realize what the problem was and how to fix it, and ex's are usually more interested in jumping right back into the mix without worrying about issues that they need to work on. Usually, when you bring up the problems from the past, they're out again. There is a reason you two broke up. If both of you aren't willing to work on making things right, youre doomed from the start. If/when she comes back, its probably going to be too late anyway. I had an ex call me 2 years later. By then, I was so over her that the very thought of involving her in my life was just nonsensical.
Author Arsenic_Child Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 Now BCCA, how long of NC did you go before she contacted you again where you worked it out for 13 months (just asking your time frame) I do know 100% the issues that were at hand and i know how to fix them
sid3 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I went one month nc before the ex came back. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster ever since. I'm not sure what you'd call the mind games she has been playing, all I know is I'm tired and suffering like I never have before. The issues in my R, she is ovbiously an emotional abuser, and maybe mildly retarded. My faults were feeling lonely and allowing her crap behavior. Wasn't a jerk or a nice guy, just a good guy. I think I finally met the so called girl that wants to be treated like ****........it's just not who I am, so here I sit confused and broken....it feels like somebody just died. I wonder if I would have been happy if I never replied to her miss you, I'm sorry. To think 3 months later I'm at the lowest point of my life for simply having forgiven her.......don't let that happen to you!
BCCA Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Now BCCA, how long of NC did you go before she contacted you again where you worked it out for 13 months (just asking your time frame) I do know 100% the issues that were at hand and i know how to fix them Took 2-3 months. But she never came back and said she made a mistake, so was so sorry...any of that. They RARELY do. She just wanted to see me, we slept together, and when I was really having fun with her, we just kind of got back together. But I can also tell you this - I went NC on the girl I dated who dumped me before this last one, and I never heard from her again. 6ish years...not one single word. The thing to remember is that it doesnt matter if you know how to fix them, they have to be fixed together. She has to be interested in fixing them and she has to be in it for the long run. Not to be cruel, but have you seen anything recently that gives you the impression that shes interested in working something out long term with you? Usually, people weigh the pros and cons, and decide that whatever they have to put out to keep this relationship isnt worth it anymore. Women are also not known for coming back. Generally, a woman knows shes done 2+ months before she dumps the guy. By that time, theyre emotionally unattached, and they never look back. I would be willing to be that less than 10% of women come back after leaving a guy.
wayfaerer1 Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 This is why you can't listen to what other people tell you, although just talking helps you not feel so alone. But, this isn't a mathematical equation - That person may or may not come back. Nobody but that person can decide, so trying to take advice from other people about that doesn't really help your chances. What I do know about women, is that if they've never had the chance to be wild and crazy and just go out and do whatever, then it's only a matter of time before they want that, and if they're with you at the time, it could be a reason why they want to break. They feel trapped, that if they stay with you, they're depriving themselves of something they "could" have if they had the chance to find it. Eventually they mature, and they realize that finding guys to date from bar outings doesn't turn into anything at all. And they'll look back thinking, wow, I was selfish, and I let a really nice guy go. I wish that nice guy was still around, because now I'm ready to settle down.
wayfaerer1 Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Also, if you ever want to have a chance with her again, waiting around and moping will never work. If people get back together and they haven't changed as people, then your problems will only come back again. Plus, if she sees that you're constantly upset and thinking about her, then she knows that you're still there. You have to make yourself seem uninterested. It may not seem it right now, but most women tend to get jealous when they see something they let go, feel happy and better. Whatever happens, it will take some time. And because every person is different, there is no possible way to predict anything. Stay strong.
BCCA Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 This is why you can't listen to what other people tell you, although just talking helps you not feel so alone. But, this isn't a mathematical equation - That person may or may not come back. Nobody but that person can decide, so trying to take advice from other people about that doesn't really help your chances. What I do know about women, is that if they've never had the chance to be wild and crazy and just go out and do whatever, then it's only a matter of time before they want that, and if they're with you at the time, it could be a reason why they want to break. They feel trapped, that if they stay with you, they're depriving themselves of something they "could" have if they had the chance to find it. Eventually they mature, and they realize that finding guys to date from bar outings doesn't turn into anything at all. And they'll look back thinking, wow, I was selfish, and I let a really nice guy go. I wish that nice guy was still around, because now I'm ready to settle down. The problem is that this 'revalation' usually takes years, and by then, its way too late. Some people always look for greener pastures, and end up alone forever. This is good advise. There is no telling. I've had girls call me 6 months later, Ive had girls call me 2 days later, Ive had girls never call me again. You just dont know, thats why you need to worry about yourself!
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