Gillie Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 My GF and I were together for 2.5 years, we had our share of problems and then all of the sudden she met a guy at work and left me. I just can't understand how you can just jump from one relationship right into another one and keep living your life as if nothing you are doing is wrong. As much as I tell myself I don't want to be with her, I just can't stop thinking about her and her new guy being together. The worse part is that we have a son togehter and I have to communicate and see her on a regular basis, she is off starting a new relationship and I'm just nohting to her now. I don't know if this a rebound for her or what to think. How do i acceppt that she is gone and how do I deal with the emotions and regret that I'am feeling?
Owl Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 How are the two of you handling support and visitation? Is there a reason why she has custody of your son and not you? The reasons she could do what she did are endless...but at the end of the day, the how and the why really won't do much in this case. Let me ask you this...how did her family and yours respond to her choices?
Author Gillie Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 We have a joint custody agreement, even though she seems to be to busy for our son, I end up having him most of the time. My family was kind of taken back and just see's her in a different light these days, as far as her family they live out of state and she hasn't told them anything more than that we are no longer together.
Author Gillie Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 Let me rephase that, I'am more than happy to have my son as much as possible
crystal_lostheart Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 I think at this stage you are really feeling those RAW emotions where nothing really makes sense. In time, she may possibly feel regret and realise that she has let go of a wonderful person. Her new R doesn't sound like one that is based on honestly, especially if it was rushed into? Doesn't sound like there is much foundation there with her new man. You have your son to focus on and if she is not focusing on you anymore - why do the same to her? Don't try and reason with things in your head as to 'Why' she did this - you could spend years clutching onto painful thoughts or YOU can start to take baby steps in moving on with your own life. Hard , but really what choice do you have? You deserve better... Good Luck
2sunny Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 any reason why this is in the OM/OW section? is she seeing a MM? if not, you may want to consider posting this in the break up section...
whichwayisup Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Your son needs a stable parent, and you're it. She's too busy enjoying her new lifestyle and spending time with someone that could be the grass is greener symptom.. Focus on you, your child and making life as simple and loving as possible for your kids sake and try your best to not focus on her. Sorry you're in pain, but in a way it's better she's gone rather than her cheat on you, lie to you night after night.. Is it possible for you to speak to a lawyer about getting full custody? Also, make sure this guy isnt' anywhere near your son, he doesn't need to meet this guy..
GreenEyedLady Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Maybe the R wasn't working for her and so she left. You aren't married to her and she has every right to end your R and date someone else. Why should the OP be awarded custody? Because he "states" she is too busy and he has his son most of the time? She probably feels like she is free. THe OP said they'd been having problems and she doesn't have to stay and work them out. That's what being single is about: not having someone tell you what to do.
Author Gillie Posted September 4, 2008 Author Posted September 4, 2008 You have a good point green, obviously the R wasn't working out. Do you know of any R that doesn't have a few issues that do not come up from time to time??? I'm not just saying things to make her look bad, she is my son's mother and I will always be grateful to her for that.. yes being single is about doing what you want.. but she isn't single she is in another R already. If she feels free of me that's fine, but she does have a huge responsibility and thats called a son, she isn't acting like he is her first priority at all at this time.
GreenEyedLady Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 You have a good point green, obviously the R wasn't working out. Do you know of any R that doesn't have a few issues that do not come up from time to time??? I'm not just saying things to make her look bad, she is my son's mother and I will always be grateful to her for that.. yes being single is about doing what you want.. but she isn't single she is in another R already. If she feels free of me that's fine, but she does have a huge responsibility and thats called a son, she isn't acting like he is her first priority at all at this time. You've been together 2.5 years and you're having such serious problems for most of the R that she felt it was better to end it. That says something right there. That doesn't mean time to time, that means the entire R. She is still single. She is not married. Maybe she is in another R, but honestly, that is none of your business anymore. Your R with her is solely as a co-parent. I am just wondering what your idea of your son being a priority looks like. Is she neglecting him? Is he dirty? Is he uncared for? Unkempt? Malnourished? Withdrawn? If her going out is simply what is causing you to say that he is not her priority, then I'm sorry, that's not what it looks like. I think you're hurt and she's not acting the way you think she should. And in the end, that's really your problem, not hers.
lkjh Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Greeneyedlady....Have you ever heard of putting your children before yourself. He has every right to know what the mother of his son is bringing into her life.
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