scotslass Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Why do married people have affairs.......I really need to know as I'm trying to end with my first EMA
TogetherForever Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Why do married people have affairs.......I really need to know as I'm trying to end with my first EMA Scotslass, There are numerous threads explaining why. Check out the infidelity section also. Welcome to LS by the way!! TF
wildsoul Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 In a rhetorical mood, eh? Cuz answering that could take a lifetime and lead nowhere. So new forum friend, what's your story? Are you married?
Owl Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I guess the REAL question here is...why did YOU have an EMA? I'll bite...what reasoning did YOU follow that allowed you to pursue the EMA? Not attacking you...just figured since you asked the question, we'd move down that path.
Author scotslass Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 I'm not married, separated for a long time though. I'm not sure, we started as friends and I didn't want to introduce a man into the lives of my children and it seemed like a good option..... but they know about him now, they think we are friends.....It was wonderful to love someone again but he's been married a long time and I know thats the way he will stay. It just happened gradually and I have tried to end it and have gone back and just looking for some help
Owl Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 So the reason you did it was simple...it was loneliness and a need to have your emotional needs met by a man. You're seperated from your H, so you're not getting them met there. Why your Married Other Man did it is irrelevent. It doesn't matter, because you've already realized the bottom line...he's married, he's not going to change that, and so this relationship is dead end. What you need to do is to PUT AN END to it, once and for all. Then see what you can do to let yourself become truly 'available'...either reconciliation or divorce. Then see who's out there that really IS available. Married men are very, VERY rarely going to work out for anything more than an affair.
mistresswchildren Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Scotslass, Alright, you will hear a lot of advice on here, but the most important part is that you are open to that advice. So many people on here wish that they had not taken part in an affair. You have the chance to end it before you get too far into it. While hearing this will not make you change your mine, you simply have to have the open mind to listen. Most of us come from experience. Most of us have been there; done that. Don't become one of us. Keep yourself healthy and whole. Don't question why married people get into affairs, simply do not take part in one. It will only lead to your own demise. If you are a masochist, then continue on the path that you are on, but if you still have any self respect, end it now. You do not want to be one of the many people on here that are still having trouble getting over their affair. I speak from much experience on this. Do not put yourself through it. You are worth more than that. Open yourself up the possibility of someone else that can meet your needs. Someone single is just around the corner. There is a man out there that will listen to you. There is a man out there that will care about you. There is a man out there that is NOT MARRIED that can fulfill you in ways that you have not even dreamed of. Don't do this. I will pray that you find the strength to heed my advice.
whichwayisup Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 First off, get this man away from your kids - They don't need to get attached to him. I hope you find the strength to walk away and heal. If you can't do that, then please get counselling to help you through that process. Keep reading the threads here too. Good luck and just remember, you're worth more than being someone else's side dish.
soda Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 First off, get this man away from your kids - They don't need to get attached to him. I hope you find the strength to walk away and heal. If you can't do that, then please get counselling to help you through that process. Keep reading the threads here too. Good luck and just remember, you're worth more than being someone else's side dish. WWIU is spot on...and always seems to be. Stop settling for being scraps. I'm not being mean, I'm being honest. I settled for being scraps in my own marriage for too long, even when I figured out that my W was a ginormous, stupid boob, and there was an intelligent, attractive, and successful woman who sat quietly cursing that she'd "gotten to me" too late. I'm giving up scraps for steak. Who wouldn't? No, I didn't cheat, and I'm not a cheater. In fact, my soon to be GF would barely speak to me during my marital problems...out of respect to a W who didn't deserve any respect. You deserve more, too. Settling for less in a life that is too short is shortsighted and regretful.
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