redfathom Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Friend One The first is who I consider to be my BF, even though I rarely see her. We were BF from elementrary school through high school, but now with busy schedules we never see each other. We talked on Friday (it has been a month since we had talked) and made plans to see each other on Monday. She said she had to work, but would get off no later then 2:00 PM and would call me on her way home so we could discuss meeting up. At 3:00 PM she called me and said she had a lot of homework and didn't feel well and asked if I wanted to hang out tomorrow (Tuesday) for some reason, she still hasn't grasped that I have a 9-5 job and I can't meet her during the week. This wouldn't be such a big deal except that she flakes all the time. She either cancels like an hour before, or shows up at least 30 min. late to something. This upsets me because it makes me feel like she thinks my time is not valueable. I mean I could have made other plans on Monday, but I waited for her. Then she called me that evening and said she was feeling better and asked if I wanted to meet up to see a movie (this was at 7:00 PM). I told her I couldn't because I have to get to sleep at 10:00 PM because I have to work in the morning. I asked her if she wanted to come over and watch a movie and she said she could but not until 8:30 PM because she had to stop by someone elses house. So I told her that we should just make plans some other time. But I am not sure I want to. I hate being flaked on! Friend Two My other friend is acting really weird lately. We have only known each other for a year and she is extreamly competative. She got laid off in January and is still looking for a job, but not vigourously. Due to this her self esteem has gone down and she has decided to make herself feel better my sleeping around. I want to be a good friend so I tell her my honest opinion of this, nicely. Such as, that she doesn't need a man to make herself feel good, that she is already a good person, etc. Recently she slept with a guy her married friend had a crush on and asked her not to sleep with. The guy said they would hang out but has lied about being out of town and not trying very hard to reconnect. She thinks her friend is influencing him (when she doesn't even know if her friend knows) and is being paranoid about the whole thing. I frankly told her that the way she was treating her BF was not very nice and she shoudl just forget about the guy and move on. So today I sent her a text to see if she wanted to have lunch, she told me she was still out of town but maybe on Friday. I may have a volunteer thing at work on Friday and asked if she wanted to do it with me and she said: "Maybe, ask me again tomorrow night". I sent her a text back that I have to know today because I have to confirm two people will attend with the organization. So she replied:"Oh then no." I said: "Ha, I will have to let you know about lunch tomorrow" - because I may have to do this volunteer thing with another co-worker. She said: "Okay, I don't want to promise anything for the day I get home, I may be a zombie." I said: "That's okay, maybe we should just plan on next week." She said: "I suppose." So I said: "ok" Obviously she is mad about something... So, how should I handle each friend? Do you think I am being sensative?
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