RhondaBlonda Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I'd really like some help from anyone else who's been in this position. I'm going to try to get it to bare basics.. I like (madly love) one of my friends. I'm in an odd position because I'm not at a datable stage in my life, so I'm not expecting anything yet, but it would sure help me if I could guess what he's thinking. He's super gun-shy about relationships. He starts relationships with women that he knows are going to fail, and I think he does it deliberately because he expects that anything he starts is going to fail. So he loses nothing when it does fall through. He encourages me in every way possible, he's literally my best friend. I can and have talked to him about everything. He's everything I've never gotten from any other relationship I've been in. He listens better than I do. He remembers things I've said even when I don't remember the conversation. There's a dozen little things like this. Yet in no way has he ever encouraged me to think of him as anything more than a friend. I know him better than anyone else he has ever had as a friend. He's pretty much mysterious. We get along so well it's scary. We play fight, we pull pranks on each other, we have been accused of being like siblings or an old married couple. A friend of mine (a sociologist with a PhD) accused me of sleeping with him based on meeting him once and simply reading the body language between us. What can you do when everything verbally says no without a straight out no, and all of the body language says yes? Is there any hope? Am I clinging to nothing? I realize that there are too many obstacles in my way right now, and can't change anything yet, but I want to know if it's worthwhile to maybe have a small bit of hope to hold onto or if I should bury it away.
ed-205 Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 I think you need to further examine your definition of "not at a datable stage in my life" before you can move on with this. That may be the very thing holding up the show.
Trialbyfire Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 I agree that in order for members to provide you with advice or opinions, it would help us to understand the full situation. If being at an undateable stage means that you're previously committed, it could easily affect his actions. If being at an undateable stage means that you've got some elective surgery happening, I doubt it would impact much on his actions, therefore, he's probably just enjoying being with a friend.
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