sparkleson Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Hi I broke up with my boyfriend six months ago due to the fact I was doing EVERYTHING, I was giving giving giving he was taking taking taking, I had to get out I was miserable the further it went on the more he was distant the more frustrated i was, the less he was coming out, he wouldnt iniate sex he wouldnt kiss me he hardly showed effection it was driving me nuts and i was starting to think he was gay, he can be very cold ( and so can i be at times) but he was showing me no effection and the more i wanted it I was becoming more needy and desperate,I broke up with him then moved back to my parents cause i wanted to see if he would come back,in the meantime someone else was showing me effection and I went on a date ( two weeks after we broke up) as he didnt seem to be bothered and didnt make any attempt to come back, he told me why would he i broke up with him he didnt see a prob I said you show me no effection and do NOTHING for me its all me,i give you take,he wouldnt listen or talk... He found out about the date and went nuts and i said hold on you wouldnt even talk to me, what was i meant to do..Weeks later he rang and said how about maybe getting back in a few months anyway i said no we broke up when i break up i break up,i was upset,i actually dont know why i said that but id had an op a few days before and was GROGGY and sore..SO that was that, we have talked everyday for the last six months and met up a few times I asked him back in June he said no i was far too late as our lease was up and he moved back to his mothers, but we have still been talking everyday and met up a few times but after each time i have to admit i asked him back or something in a desperate needy way to get him back, then sunday a few weeks ago he asked me to stay and said i think my mother was right about us getting back making me think cool hes thinkin bout it, i told him i couldnt stay cause i didnt have my medication then he went all cold on me again, i had dinner with him the week later and we kissed, then he went cold on me AGAIN but continues to talk to me, everytime i ask him to do something he says no, when he asks me i say yes straight away but again I am making all the effort anytime i ask him anything he says no... Finally last sunday week we cuddled up all day had food,next day i asked would he think of gettin back he said no ,i left it all week he rang me and rang me everyday (im getting mixed signals)he text me on the friday are you in the pub i said no i was in another pub why he said oh i was gonna walk up for a drink thats all( its only up the road from him) i said come down to other pub heard nothing, next day we talked all day again and then i txt and said if ur in local give me a shout,he didnt, I went to local with a friend saw him there and felt really hurt... I sent txt and said hey how come ya never said to me to come for a drink, i basically got a reply saying cause i jus didnt we dont go out anymore ( yet he was gonna come up to me on friday..All HIS terms) so i said jesus you make me feel like you just ring me when you are bored or you feel like it..he said right so we wont talk to you anymore i was ringing to make sure you felt ok thru your illness, i said your giving me mixed signals, one week you meet up and call up and next you dont , he said well lets cut back so no mixed signals..I said ok good idea,then i said does that mean we will never get back :-) and he wrote back, no i dont wanna get back...That was it I have heard NOTHING since...whats it all about???
seminoles84 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I'll be completely honest with you. I read the first 4 lines and got dizzy. I'd love to help you out.. and I know you are stressed out with all the emotions right now. But if you want to help from me and probably a lot of others, you should edit your post and use paragraphs. Sorry if that comes off harsh! Promise to help, just fix!
Author sparkleson Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 Hi I broke up with my boyfriend six months ago due to the fact I was doing EVERYTHING, I was giving giving giving he was taking taking taking, I had to get out I was miserable the further it went on the more he was distant the more frustrated i was, the less he was coming out, he wouldnt iniate sex he wouldnt kiss me he hardly showed effection it was driving me nuts and i was starting to think he was gay, he can be very cold ( and so can i be at times) but he was showing me no effection and the more i wanted it I was becoming more needy and desperate. I broke up with him then moved back to my parents cause i wanted to see if he would come back,in the meantime someone else was showing me effection and I went on a date ( two weeks after we broke up) as he didnt seem to be bothered and didnt make any attempt to come back. He told me why would he i broke up with him he didnt see a prob I said you show me no effection and do NOTHING for me its all me,i give you take,he wouldnt listen or talk... He found out about the date and went nuts and i said hold on you wouldnt even talk to me, what was i meant to do.. Weeks later he rang and said how about maybe getting back in a few months anyway i said no we broke up when i break up i break up,i was upset,i actually dont know why i said that but id had an op a few days before and was GROGGY and sore..SO that was that, we have talked everyday for the last six months and met up a few times . I asked him back in June he said no i was far too late as our lease was up and he moved back to his mothers, but we have still been talking everyday and met up a few times but after each time i have to admit i asked him back or something in a desperate needy way to get him back, then sunday a few weeks ago he asked me to stay and said i think my mother was right about us getting back making me think cool hes thinkin bout it, i told him i couldnt stay cause i didnt have my medication then he went all cold on me again, i had dinner with him the week later and we kissed, then he went cold on me AGAIN but continues to talk to me, everytime i ask him to do something he says no, when he asks me i say yes straight away but again I am making all the effort anytime i ask him anything he says no... Finally last sunday week we cuddled up all day had food,next day i asked would he think of gettin back he said no ,i left it all week he rang me and rang me everyday (im getting mixed signals)he text me on the friday are you in the pub i said no i was in another pub why he said oh i was gonna walk up for a drink thats all( its only up the road from him) i said come down to other pub heard nothing, next day we talked all day again and then i txt and said if ur in local give me a shout,he didnt, I went to local with a friend saw him there and felt really hurt... I sent txt and said hey how come ya never said to me to come for a drink, i basically got a reply saying cause i jus didnt we dont go out anymore ( yet he was gonna come up to me on friday..All HIS terms) so i said jesus you make me feel like you just ring me when you are bored or you feel like it..he said right so we wont talk to you anymore i was ringing to make sure you felt ok thru your illness, i said your giving me mixed signals, one week you meet up and call up and next you dont , he said well lets cut back so no mixed signals..I said ok good idea,then i said does that mean we will never get back :-) and he wrote back, no i dont wanna get back...That was it I have heard NOTHING since...whats it all about???
Author sparkleson Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 Thanks Saminoles :-) thats not harshtrue.. , i went on a rant :-) and didnt think... Ohhh dear sorry..Thanks for your help :-)
seminoles84 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 First off. Have you been in many relationships before him? Sounds to me like you guys were each others first loves. I think the best think you can do is completely leave him alone, and go NC. Is this roller coaster of emotions really worth it? I doubt it. You seem young, you have your whole life ahead of you. To me, it sounds as though he is using you as a ego boost. Every time he's lonely, he calls/texts you. He say's he's going to come up and have a few drinks with you, and dips out of it. This happened multiple times... like something else came up that he thought would be better/more fun. You need to start thinking of yourself. You will never get over this with contact constantly. And if you keep contacting him, he will keep you on a very thin string.. just thin enough for you to keep thinking there is hope for a future.. while he knows he's got the upper hand and is probably already moving forward with his life. But if he get's bored, he'll USE you as a void to pass time. Screw that. NC time. Good luck!
seminoles84 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 And just so you know, my ex did the same thing to me.. and it made me feel like complete. The final straw came this past weekend. I WILL NOT CONTACT HER AGAIN! I loved the way I feel when I'm with her, but HATE the way I feel when I'm not and she's just dragging me along (she also only contacted me when she "could fit me in"). Which seems to be what's happening to you. I've never felt so liberated from this. Knowing that you are taking control of the situation, is the best feeling. It's time you do the same!
9Lives Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Hi I broke up with my boyfriend six months ago due to the fact I was doing EVERYTHING, I was giving giving giving he was taking taking taking, I had to get out I was miserable the further it went on the more he was distant the more frustrated i was, the less he was coming out, he wouldnt iniate sex he wouldnt kiss me he hardly showed effection it was driving me nuts and i was starting to think he was gay, he can be very cold ( and so can i be at times) but he was showing me no effection and the more i wanted it I was becoming more needy and desperate. I broke up with him then moved back to my parents cause i wanted to see if he would come back,in the meantime someone else was showing me effection and I went on a date ( two weeks after we broke up) as he didnt seem to be bothered and didnt make any attempt to come back. He told me why would he i broke up with him he didnt see a prob I said you show me no effection and do NOTHING for me its all me,i give you take,he wouldnt listen or talk... He found out about the date and went nuts and i said hold on you wouldnt even talk to me, what was i meant to do.. Weeks later he rang and said how about maybe getting back in a few months anyway i said no we broke up when i break up i break up,i was upset,i actually dont know why i said that but id had an op a few days before and was GROGGY and sore..SO that was that, we have talked everyday for the last six months and met up a few times . I asked him back in June he said no i was far too late as our lease was up and he moved back to his mothers, but we have still been talking everyday and met up a few times but after each time i have to admit i asked him back or something in a desperate needy way to get him back, then sunday a few weeks ago he asked me to stay and said i think my mother was right about us getting back making me think cool hes thinkin bout it, i told him i couldnt stay cause i didnt have my medication then he went all cold on me again, i had dinner with him the week later and we kissed, then he went cold on me AGAIN but continues to talk to me, everytime i ask him to do something he says no, when he asks me i say yes straight away but again I am making all the effort anytime i ask him anything he says no... Finally last sunday week we cuddled up all day had food,next day i asked would he think of gettin back he said no ,i left it all week he rang me and rang me everyday (im getting mixed signals)he text me on the friday are you in the pub i said no i was in another pub why he said oh i was gonna walk up for a drink thats all( its only up the road from him) i said come down to other pub heard nothing, next day we talked all day again and then i txt and said if ur in local give me a shout,he didnt, I went to local with a friend saw him there and felt really hurt... I sent txt and said hey how come ya never said to me to come for a drink, i basically got a reply saying cause i jus didnt we dont go out anymore ( yet he was gonna come up to me on friday..All HIS terms) so i said jesus you make me feel like you just ring me when you are bored or you feel like it..he said right so we wont talk to you anymore i was ringing to make sure you felt ok thru your illness, i said your giving me mixed signals, one week you meet up and call up and next you dont , he said well lets cut back so no mixed signals..I said ok good idea,then i said does that mean we will never get back :-) and he wrote back, no i dont wanna get back...That was it I have heard NOTHING since...whats it all about??? i experienced something similar. You will never be happy with him. He only cares about himself. NO contact,,,,no contact...really move on..he dont love you
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