Lucky555 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 When you start seeing a guy you like how long do you wait to see if there is a "relationship" I suppose these are some of those things that are gray in the beginning but when is it time to say hey its fun but we need to be taking the next step? I am just curious here. I'm out of the dating scene for now. I have a lot of transitions in my life right now. I miss hanging out with someone and having fun but i have realized even if i have to wait i can't hang out with guys that are not "POTENTIALS" then it just ends up with me breaking up with them and being back at square one. Another question is how do you know the guy wants more than just casual fun? What are some questions you ask? I just don't want relationships like i have had in the past. I know i have to do something different with my selections and it seems like i need a different approach towards dating!
paddington bear Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I'm looking forward to reading what people reply to this because I haven't a clue. All I know is that as soon as I describe someone as 'my boyfriend' to my friends, it's the kiss of death to relationship, I'm usually dumped soon after! And I agree with the not hanging out with people unless they're potentials. As a friend keeps screaming at me 'you have enough male friends!!! No more'. Anyway, I shall leave it to others with more wisdom than I to answer your questions...I need to know too!
rod_in_gtown Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Well... That's hard to tell. From the other side of the fence. To me it depends on a combination of factors, like how often we've gone out, are we spending time at each other's place just hanging out? Have we had sex? have we slept over? I think I generally call it a relationship once we're in the comfortable stage. Don't call me your boyfriend on the third date, but if we've gone to social affairs together a few times (birthdays, dinner parties, etc) then it's safe to have the "talk". I'm really bad about bringing it up but if I'm not in that place and she brings it up, I'm not freaked out. I just tell it like I feel it. But then again, I don't think of myself as a comitmentphobe.
geekinthepink Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Honestly, I think it varies from relationship to relationship which royally stinks because I have no idea how this dating "game" works. LOL! I think that usually if you are sleeping together and spend the majority of your free time with one another and its been at least a month its ok to casually try to bring the subject up.
Author Lucky555 Posted September 4, 2008 Author Posted September 4, 2008 Well my past relationships have not been serious. I liked them and we were a "thing" it never got to the point of being "committed" and wanting it to be a solid relationship because I found i was not ever going to fall in love with them and thats where i dumped them. I have reached a point where i am tired of having casual fun with guys. I want to have fun but not casual relationships. I want something real. However, i am young and I have reached a point where i am considering the future and the type of guy i want to be with doesn't include any of the guys i have had relationships with. lately i have been hibernating and time is passing me by. I can't stay hibernating any longer. I have to make an effort to get out there and comb my hair in the morning, dress cute, and just be me. If i expect a guy to be dressed nicely then i should also. If i expect a guy to have nice teeth then i should also. I already ready do this but its just saying that i need to be the person I want to attract. So maybe i should play it by ear and maybe just maybe he (as in a potentially wonderful guy) will surprise me! hahaha i think this is all i can do. Another thing is I am not in a rush for a guy but I think i'm ready to step out again
xpaperxcutx Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 IF you don't want a casual relationship, then you need to make your message come across before you even date the guy. Like online dating, you need to learn how to weed out guys who wants casual sex and those who want a commitment. It does take a few disappointments before you actually meet the right one. I don't know what other advice to offer you then to tell you you need to multidate. That's the only way to move at a fast pace. But it might also backfire on you because if you date more than one guy as once, it's very hard for you to develop any kind of affections for any of them because you're going around trying to get to know everyone.
Recommended Posts