Lucky555 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 After breaking up 4 months ago i have contacted the ex maybe once a month to say hi and ask how he was. He would always reply and wouldn't have much to say. He has never contacted me..I had asked to remain friends of course because I cared about him. However, he has never once contacted me to even say hi. So i am thinking just to not talk to him again and not even bother to ask him how he is. I think if i make an effort then he should also as MY FRIEND. Yes i will admit I still have feelings but I know its not healthy to be in a relationship with him. HE has way too much baggage and i was 70% unhappy with the relationship back a few months ago and He just didn't even try. Is it right that I just stop talking to him, I really wanted to see if we could be friends and develop a good friendship but i really don't want to make an effort if he has not for four months and prior to that he didn't make an effort either, hence another reason we broke up and he claimed he was busy. (yeah right. ) What do u all think?
seminoles84 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I'd go NC. Why should you put in a effort if he wont? Would you go out of your way if this was any of your other friends? If my other "friends" never made an effort to contact me and keep in touch once and awhile I'd surely brush them off sooner or later.
Meaplus3 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 After breaking up 4 months ago i have contacted the ex maybe once a month to say hi and ask how he was. He would always reply and wouldn't have much to say. He has never contacted me..I had asked to remain friends of course because I cared about him. However, he has never once contacted me to even say hi. So i am thinking just to not talk to him again and not even bother to ask him how he is. I think if i make an effort then he should also as MY FRIEND. Yes i will admit I still have feelings but I know its not healthy to be in a relationship with him. HE has way too much baggage and i was 70% unhappy with the relationship back a few months ago and He just didn't even try. Is it right that I just stop talking to him, I really wanted to see if we could be friends and develop a good friendship but i really don't want to make an effort if he has not for four months and prior to that he didn't make an effort either, hence another reason we broke up and he claimed he was busy. (yeah right. ) What do u all think? If he has not replied to your messages then It would appear to me that he's not interested in having contact with you. I would simply forget about him and move on. AP:)
Author Lucky555 Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 After these two posts its clear. I should just not contact him. Usually it was a hi how are you doing thats all. I am much happier without the drama i was going through. I guess when you care about someone you just have to suck it up and move on. And also no i don't keep in contact with friends that don't make an effort GOOD POINT! That made me think a bit and ya its best this way. Hes not going to care and i won't care either.
seminoles84 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 After these two posts its clear. I should just not contact him. Usually it was a hi how are you doing thats all. I am much happier without the drama i was going through. I guess when you care about someone you just have to suck it up and move on. And also no i don't keep in contact with friends that don't make an effort GOOD POINT! That made me think a bit and ya its best this way. Hes not going to care and i won't care either. Good for you! There are too many people in this world that would love to be friends with caring people like us! It's unlimited!
BCCA Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 'Friends' is just not something you want to be. I know how you feel, you figure he is a good guy and you want him in your life, but I'm sure you know deep down inside you really want to hang around and see if he changes his mind about the relationship. The thing is, for him to realize his true feelings, he'll need to miss you...and he wont miss you if he knows youll contact him every month. I think he's made it pretty clear that youre not a priority in his life, so dont make him one in yours. I would just not bother contacting him anymore.
HopeDiesLast Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 After these two posts its clear. I should just not contact him. Usually it was a hi how are you doing thats all. I am much happier without the drama i was going through. I guess when you care about someone you just have to suck it up and move on. And also no i don't keep in contact with friends that don't make an effort GOOD POINT! That made me think a bit and ya its best this way. Hes not going to care and i won't care either. i just looked over my NC calander. i would circle days i text him, and x the days i got through. for three months any and all contact besides him getting his stuff was done by me. all the hellos, all the asking to talk. i can say i never begged or pleaded, which im proud of. but looking at that damn calander only reminded me that i was the one who at the end of our 2 yrs put the effort in. I DID EVERYTHING AT THE END. and ya know what? i'm throwing in the towel. F this. F him for not realizing and not trying. I'm done trying. only took me 3 months of self torture to figure that one out!!!
Author Lucky555 Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 well being close with him changed the dynamics of how i view him. hes not a very outgoing person and i really think he has deeper issues. When i first met this guy he was severely depressed over a previous breakup, maybe i was the rebound and maybe not. I thought we were two peas in a pod but as time went on he wasn't the same guy i had met. I stopped wearing my rose colored glasses and realized he was no where near the same page i was. I guess i just didn't want to see him unhappy or depressed again. I just wanted him to be happy and i am glad i have perspectives from you all to know how to deal with this and what you all do. I have never kept friendships with exes and i know that its possible but i guess this is another guy i can't be friends with hahaha. I rather not have exes in my life but like i said i just wanted him not to be depressed.
seminoles84 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I have never kept friendships with exes and i know that its possible but i guess this is another guy i can't be friends with hahaha. I rather not have exes in my life but like i said i just wanted him not to be depressed. I dated my first girlfriend for 4 years. We broke up. Fought A lot for about 6 months. She got a new boyfriend. I didn't talk to her for about 1 year. The last 2 years I've gotten along with her great.. and I'm in no way attracted to her, and the same goes for how she feels about me.. but I'm still friends with her. I believe it's possible to be friends, but I think it's important to separate for awhile first. I even enjoy hanging out with her and her boyfriend (of now 3 years) together! Although I hated him at first. Just give it time. There's no way I could be just friends with my last ex right now. When I dated her.. she didn't talk to her ex for a year and a half.. now we've broken up and she's leaning on him for support and they are now friends again. Maybe sometime in the future we will too.. but I'm in no rush! Although it's all I wanted the first couple of months.. it just hurt to much to talk to her and get no responses from emails, text's, and phone calls.. only heard from her when she felt like it. He'll be okay, and so will you! Just give it some time. Best of luck!
bayouboi Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 If you broke things off with him, then you should leave him alone.
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