Ife Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 My wife and I are finally agreeing to separate. Recently we tried moving to her sisters house because they promised to give us some land if we came down and built a house. Because of where it was we were looking at maybe a $300 mortgage so we jumped on the opportunity. That turned into a nightmare where to protect our 4 children from an abusive brother-in-law we grabbed our kids the cell phone and started calling 911. My 2nd niece had been burned by cigarettes by her mother and boyfriend. She was sexually abused too. Short version. We were having trouble finding jobs and car troubles which compounded our financial troubles. But my family came to the rescue in another state. So we now have a jumping off place to look for new jobs and relocate. But our marriage - we have no relationship. I don't enjoy spending time with her. We both agree its over. She recently got arrested for stealing money from where she worked. We didn't need the money. We have family helping us through this difficult time. And since she at that time was working we had enough to get by while we sorted things out. Thankfully my parents have a big enough house, as they moved recently, so that my family, my sister's family and my parents each have their own wing. Other than the minor set back, and me having trouble landing a job. But I am going to meet with someone from the government that helps people under certain circumstances get jobs. So something should break soon. As soon as I landed a job I was planning to move out. I was assuming she'd get the kids as that's how it usually gets awarded anyways and so to make things easy its what I initially thought. But then she got arrested and has an open case for stealing money from her work. She won't be employable for months, if not longer. She caught wind of my plan to start the separation. She is planning on staying with my parents while I move out. Now I haven't talked to my parents about it, but that's just wrong on so many levels. I would hope my parents would take my side. And force her to move out, meaning since she couldn't support the kids unless she went on welfare, if she was lucky enough to be able to get it, our state ran out of money for that recently, that I would get the kids. None of us are saints, nobody is. But she stole from where she worked, repeatedly overspends the foodstamps. I told her she needs to hand over the card to me so I can budget. She agreed. Me I'm a trained computer tech. I have job skills. Just trouble landing a job just yet. Her, she has no skills. Well no specific skills. Shed have to live off welfare. Probably for a long time. Any advice?
TrustInYourself Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Situation sounds like total chaos. That probably doesn't help the situation with your wife. Nor your perspective on things. Why did you marry her if you just want to ditch her? You have kids too. Don't you think that's being a bit irresponsible?
Author Ife Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 Yea chaos is an understatement. I married her about 17 years back, basically because she was pregnant and I wanted to make sure I saw my kid. I remember hearing all these horror stories as I grew up about women that ripped children away from their fathers and all that. So I told everyone I was in love with her. But I wasn't. Now I am 34. A daughter, then twins, and another son later. If we disagree, you know what osteridges do? They stick their head in the sand and pretend the problem doesn't exist. I don't like being married to an osteridge. Sex would be nice too sometimes. Although I do have to admit that after she found out I was planning on leaving her...... but that don't make up for squat. I've never been in love with her. I have never cared for her. Most of the time I don't spend with her. She annoys me. He jokes, her style(lack of it). The only thing we have in common is the kids. She has no desire to try and make anything of herself it seems. She makes no friends. Is generally rude to neighbors that are friends with our kids to their face if she has an issue with them, without looking at the big picture. Yea its a big mess. And I want out. But I want the kids. Like I said she stole from where she used to work. I consider that up there with rape/child molesting/murder.
Author Ife Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 Also being irresponsible would be for the kids to continue to see the massive fighting we do. day after day after day. Have you ever tried talking to a brick wall about raising your kids? And I mean that in this. I try and talk, present my side, listen for her side.. crickets chirping....... Running upstairs..... Yelling..... Avoidance of reality. She does this to the kids sometimes too. If the kids correct her in something anything... like the capital of a state.. like who cares right? But for her its the end of the world because she was wrong. My kids having a conversation with her. A happy normal conversation. But for her the end of the world. Her ONLY friends are her mom, who's husband killed himself and her sister who covered up for an child abusing husband and child molesting daughter.
TrustInYourself Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 You know what is best for your family. Best wishes!
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