lilmrcheerful Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Hi, I hope someone can give me some advice. About 8 months ago, my gf was dumped by her ex in which she was absolutely in love with him, deeply. I knew her for a while before as friends and she told me that they were having problems but she didn't want the relationship to end. It was he who initiated it because he didn't know if he loved her and said he couldn't give her what she wanted. Two months later from the time they broke up, we got together and it's now very serious between us, she moved in 4 months ago into my place and we have told all the authorities that she's living in my home, so it's all supposedly official. It was her birthday recently and she celebrated it back home with her parents, I couldn't attend due to work. Amongst all this, her ex text her wishing her happy birthday in which it seems to have opened a can of worms and clearly there are still feelings between them. I have a feeling they are planning to arrange a meet up. I had it out with her but she assured me there's nothing going on and that he's just lonely and has no friends to talk to. He has told her he regretted breaking up and still loves her. The basis of their relationship was mainly sexual whereas what we have is completely different, it's far more than that, it's a relationship that has it all, the kind of relationship you'd expect from a "married" couple, where as the relationship they had was something of a fantasy and very kinky. She lived with her parents before living with me, she has all the freedom here to do what she wants, it's like her new home. Maybe she doesn't want to lose all that, however, I know she still has strong feelings towards him as they keep in touch all the time. I don't know what to do because she's already threatened to leave if I carried on about it, but we've hardly spoken much about it, it's still all up in the air. I don't really know what to do, I am worrying like hell every day, wondering what they are saying to each other. I don't think I can trust her anymore Thanks for reading.
Ronni_W Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Dolce, I don't know what to tell you -- if you can't trust her, you have to release her, yes? For your own peace of mind, and also to spare her from any of your jealousy and suspicions which may prove unfounded. And I'm not sure how you feel about worrying about something over which you have absolutely no control? -- does it feel worthwhile or futile/pointless? You can make the first move, and start a conversation with her about where she is and where she envisions herself going. Or you can wait until those answers are revealed to you. Which they will be in due time. And, if you choose the latter, you may as well also just choose to trust her until there is evidence of her ROMANTIC and/or SEXUAL interest in her ex.
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