Mending1985 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I'm sorry but I got curious and snuck off to take a look as well... I like it! It's well written, you sound open and honest, you aren't looking for anything impossible...hell I'd contact you!
rod_in_gtown Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Oh good! I get a little insecure sometimes and this is usually not something I would ask my close friends about. I don't mind people looking at it, heck, the whole purpose of putting it out there is for people to find it! right?
Mending1985 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Exactly! Even though I'm out of your age range (not to mention country lol) I still liked it.
2sunny Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 well here's my 2cents: if you are intending to speak of one concept - then say the full meaning in one clear sentence. such as- and spending time with friends around the city. I used to live in the suburbs but now I'm back in the city just think about consolidating like info to be more direct. same idea with your next paragraph about music. one pet peeve i hate (sorry to be so picky) is when most sentences start with the word I - can you be more creative with approaching your statements by starting out with something other than I... because when peeps use I all the time - they appear self centered - even if they're not. more info about your interests and specifics about what you're looking for in a gal might weed out a few unwelcome solicitors... like - fat, too tall, too old etc without being blatantly mean. seems you are much more interesting and playful (from the posts i've read here) than your profile is portraying at the moment... i'd see if i could integrate that a bit. is that being too critical?
rod_in_gtown Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 well here's my 2cents: if you are intending to speak of one concept - then say the full meaning in one clear sentence. such as- and spending time with friends around the city. I used to live in the suburbs but now I'm back in the city just think about consolidating like info to be more direct. same idea with your next paragraph about music. one pet peeve i hate (sorry to be so picky) is when most sentences start with the word I - can you be more creative with approaching your statements by starting out with something other than I... because when peeps use I all the time - they appear self centered - even if they're not. more info about your interests and specifics about what you're looking for in a gal might weed out a few unwelcome solicitors... like - fat, too tall, too old etc without being blatantly mean. seems you are much more interesting and playful (from the posts i've read here) than your profile is portraying at the moment... i'd see if i could integrate that a bit. is that being too critical? No! not too critical, it's all great input. I would've never looked at the excessive use of "I"s, but re-reading it, it definitely jumps at me. My main focus was to try to keep it short and to the point, since at work we're always talking about how people nowadays have such short attention span and when they see a large block of text they just tend to go "ugh.. why bother". As for the playfulness, it comes easy when talking here, we feed off of each other. There it's just there. I'll try to think of something Thanks sunny!
2sunny Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 any time i was impressed with no spelling errors (hate that). what about stating one sentence regarding your love of music and enjoy a gal that has an appreciation for good rhythm? is that too bold for you? it is somewhat playful. he he that little spot you're in (gtown) has some great nightlife if i remember correctly, very charming, why not spotlight a place or two for a recommended outing? ooops... and now looking closer - crop that one picture closer so it doesn't show that you may be sitting on that gals lap! looks like fun - but girls don't want to see that if they're considering you for a date...
Author CaliGuy Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 It's a little too short, you should probably lose the sunglasses, talk a little more about what you like to do with your free time and what separates you from other men but other than that I think it's fine.
rod_in_gtown Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 It's a little too short, you should probably lose the sunglasses, talk a little more about what you like to do with your free time and what separates you from other men but other than that I think it's fine. Awesome, thanks for taking a look. I'll try to expand a little without going into a self-absorbed rant
rod_in_gtown Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 any time i was impressed with no spelling errors (hate that). what about stating one sentence regarding your love of music and enjoy a gal that has an appreciation for good rhythm? is that too bold for you? it is somewhat playful. he he that little spot you're in (gtown) has some great nightlife if i remember correctly, very charming, why not spotlight a place or two for a recommended outing? ooops... and now looking closer - crop that one picture closer so it doesn't show that you may be sitting on that gals lap! looks like fun - but girls don't want to see that if they're considering you for a date... LMAO! :lmao: I love it! I would SO put it there but won't that make me sound like a horn-dog or obnoxious?
2sunny Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 LMAO! :lmao: I love it! I would SO put it there but won't that make me sound like a horn-dog or obnoxious? not if it's worded correctly! just come straight out and tell her you have good rhythm in the bedroom. THAT would not be cool. you can insinuate without actually saying it. then you may attract like minds... get it? be creative... no one says it's set in stone. you can change it all the time if you want to. heck by the full moon next week you may want to talk about a drum circle that is local... now THAT is always a cool music gathering! you get the idea. go for it!
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