CaliGuy Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Here's one I got today: "You are a Fox! Do you like Cougars?" That's all she wrote to me. LOL!!! Post your most laughable online dating emails to date.
D-Lish Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I've had.... "you're a fox, I like cougars"... lol
Star Gazer Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 My favorite of the week: "U r yummy...let's chat, k?" Laughable.
Author CaliGuy Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 I've had.... "you're a fox, I like cougars"... lol You Cougar you, D!! LOL My favorite of the week: "U r yummy...let's chat, k?" Laughable. Oh yeah, that'll really get your motor humming huh? LOL. I've had people try to IM me that I've never met "So hey, want to meet for dinner tonight?" Huh?! I don't even know you! LOL
flc Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I had one were the women sent me "Do you like living in ****, I hate that town" I then said I thought **** was Ok and she replied asking how I liked the town she lived in? I said I thought is was a nice town but I didn't realize this was a real estate site and did she have a picture or was she trying to be mysterious. She replied I am not mysterious, Mr ****. I got a laugh out of it and thought it was quite strange.
Author CaliGuy Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 I can understand a little with the **** instead of the word, but I think I am starting to get it. I'm guessing the F word? LOL
shockandawed Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Hey "Shockandawed" Hi! How are you today? I read your profile and you seem like a really nice guy and I so appreciate that. Seems like every guy tells you one thing and then lies behind your back. I won't put up with that. My last boyfriend ended up getting his bushes decorated and his lawn sprayed with weed killer. About me, I have my masters and am a 4th grade teacher at )*$#)## elementary school in #@$#0. I really love my job and the challenges the children give me. See, I am more than just pretty, I have brains as well. I am sure you also noticed the pictures of my kids. They are my life and are great kids, My daughter is 15 and a freshman at )**(*)(*) High School. Yes, my son does have Downs Syndrome but he is such a joy. I would love to talk to you more. You can call me here at work at 555-555-5555. Don't worry, it goes to a voicemail and I can check it between classes. My work email is ([email protected]). If you would rather talk in the evening, my number at home is 555-555-5555. Can't wait to hear from you. I swear, that was copied and pasted. I got that several months ago and saved it. Her response when I politely declined her was even more priceless..lol..
Art_Critic Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Seems like every guy tells you one thing and then lies behind your back. I won't put up with that. My last boyfriend ended up getting his bushes decorated and his lawn sprayed with weed killer. ...........
djhall Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 My last boyfriend ended up getting his bushes decorated and his lawn sprayed with weed killer. What a catch! You should date her.
flc Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I can understand a little with the **** instead of the word, but I think I am starting to get it. I'm guessing the F word? LOL Not quite that bad, I redacted the town name to protect the innocent.
Author CaliGuy Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 I wonder what she did to his bushes, lol!!!!
Art_Critic Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I hope you can understand that my ex and I have a close relationship and he is still very involved my life. We go to dinner weekly but only as friends. If you can't handle that then move on... hahahahaha....
Shygirl15 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I swear, that was copied and pasted. I got that several months ago and saved it. Her response when I politely declined her was even more priceless..lol.. I somewhat feel sorry for her. Poor woman..
shockandawed Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I somewhat feel sorry for her. Poor woman.. Why is that Shygirl?
Shygirl15 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Why is that Shygirl? She probably lacks communications skills, but she comes across as a sweet, family-oriented woman. I think she was just being humorous with some of the crazy stuff she said. Why did you turn her down?
djhall Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Seems like every guy tells you one thing and then lies behind your back. I won't put up with that. My last boyfriend ended up getting his bushes decorated and his lawn sprayed with weed killer. After reading it a couple more times, I'm not sure what she is trying to say. Coming right after I won't put up with that, my first reading was that she TPd his bushes and killed his lawn. Reading it again, it does say weed killer and not grass killer, so maybe she got him back by trimming his bushes into sculptures and weeding his lawn? Its just such and odd statement jamed in there where it is.
shockandawed Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 She probably lacks communications skills, but she comes across as a sweet, family-oriented woman. I think she was just being humorous with some of the crazy stuff she said. Why did you turn her down? I should mention that her profile was a page long rant about the evils of her past relationships and a rather lengthy list of demands in which she is expecting of someone who contacts her. At the top of the list was that you must be completely healed of any past breakups....sounded a little hypocritical. She was a teacher with advanced degrees so I doubt she just lacks communication skills. To answer your question, in addition to the rants on the profile, I picked up two main concerns. One, she was a tad dramatic (which was confirmed with the follow up email). Two, she gave way too much information in her email. It freaked me out. She had no idea who I was, yet, I knew where she taught, her full name, where her daughter goes to school and what she looks like, that her son has a disability and her home phone number. That screams that she doesn't put alot of thought into things. She was amazingly gorgeous though.
motive2002 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 My laughable ones have more to do with the pic than anything else. They send a nice pic that they look pretty cute in.. and then after meeting them in person.. oH BOY!
Author CaliGuy Posted September 4, 2008 Author Posted September 4, 2008 My laughable ones have more to do with the pic than anything else. They send a nice pic that they look pretty cute in.. and then after meeting them in person.. oH BOY! I had a date this past weekend where she looked great in the photos but much older in person. Dunno why they do that. And she wonders why no men are asking for second dates. What you see is what you get with me. If you don't like the photos you won't like me in person either so I figure "Why waste anyone's time. I am who I am, take it or leave it!" lol.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Umm where do I start? I've been fed the lines "wanna hookup?" "Let me take you out to dinner tonight and we can go streaking" "So when are we hanging out?" "So how much you want for it?" <------- This line shocked me completely Guys just email me at random and expect me to put out. That's just slightly disturbing.
flc Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 I got this one today "Hello my new friend! My name is Elena. how are you? I hope you are fine! I have found your profile and e-mail on dating site xxx As for me I want to find my love. If you are interested, answer me and we can begin our acquaintance. So let me tellsome words about me. I was born on the 10 June in 1979. I want to find someone who can love me and i can love. I looked your profile and read information about you and what you want to see in a woman of your choice. And i believe, i can have all parts of what you want in soulmate, out of thousands of people that is me, i find you to be my true choice and i hope that you should feel the same way too. It's really wonderful moment as I am writing this letter to you and i pray that i should hear good and sweat reply from you. You are far from me but i belief that there's nothing that love can not do. I belief love can move mountain and love turns around person's life to precious life and sweet one. Ok, i wish that you will write me and lets have more discussions and get to know more about each other. My new friend I ask you to write to my e-mail: yyyyy.com because the Internet here is very bad, but vie e-mail I can check my mail easily. I will be great to read marvellous letter from you. Hoping for God of love and in power of love I would like to hear from you. Thanks for the reading. Elena. P.S I have forgotten the password from my past e-mail and can't use it. And now you can write me here, I will wait!!!" Sounds like a keeper:)
Author CaliGuy Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 LOL definitely! I just had to turn another one down who was interested. I will not tell her exactly why as I let her down gently but let me review.... 1. Works at Disney as a bit actress (ie: She wears a costume as Chip and/or Dale). 2. Has a Bachelor's Degree but has never pursued a career of it. (not that it's bad but it's better than being chip or dale!) 3. Recently divorced from an abusive husband. While I am glad she got out, she is not ready to date. 4. Recently FIRED from her job as Chip and/or Dale for mouthing off to her boss. 5. Doesn't take care of herself physically (she's obese and that's doesn't create attraction with me. Just not my cup 'o tea). 6. At 29, I just think she needs to get her life in order so she has something to offer someone else. She lives with her parents, granted due to the divorce, but still.... She keeps pressing me to tell her why but common decency only let me reply "I am sure there is someone else out there who is a better fit for you..."
Star Gazer Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 A coworker and I almost peed our pants when she received the following email: Dear ***, I'm not desperate, horny, or in a hurry so don't worry about me wanting to hook up or considering anything we may or may not do in the future a date. I think I'd actually have more fun without having to worry about that whole aspect. I really don't like dating. If you end up getting crazy horny sometime in a few months you can just say, "hey dude, I'm crazy horny, why don't you do something useful for a change and do me." The worst that can happen is I'll say no and make fun of you for an extended period of time. That being said, maybe if we both have the same day off sometime in the near future and neither of us have anything to do, we can go see Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder back to back, preferably not at night. If there's a break in the middle we can hang out in the lobby and try to guess which people have what STD's. If you don't want to I'm totally okay with that too. ~ ***** LMAO!
shockandawed Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 LOL definitely! I just had to turn another one down who was interested. I will not tell her exactly why as I let her down gently but let me review.... 1. Works at Disney as a bit actress (ie: She wears a costume as Chip and/or Dale). 2. Has a Bachelor's Degree but has never pursued a career of it. (not that it's bad but it's better than being chip or dale!) 3. Recently divorced from an abusive husband. While I am glad she got out, she is not ready to date. 4. Recently FIRED from her job as Chip and/or Dale for mouthing off to her boss. 5. Doesn't take care of herself physically (she's obese and that's doesn't create attraction with me. Just not my cup 'o tea). 6. At 29, I just think she needs to get her life in order so she has something to offer someone else. She lives with her parents, granted due to the divorce, but still.... She keeps pressing me to tell her why but common decency only let me reply "I am sure there is someone else out there who is a better fit for you..." #5 is all I would need to hear....although the visual of Chip or Dale mouthing off to a boss might warrant at least a cup of Starbucks to hear the story..lol
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