protection of my hard earned money

[mrgrai]

hello,

 

I will soon be filling for divorce but want to get some advice first.

 

Since I have been the only one bringing money into the marriage. No kids.

And this money was very often misused by my spouse.

 

1- In California. Will she be entitled to any of it? Does her adultery work in my favor at all in this case.

 

2- If I move my money to another account or "give it away" to trusted family for safe keeping. Will it still be taken.

 

thanks

[Trimmer]

Wasn't California one of the original "no-fault" states? And it's a community property state (these two terms are not synonymous, although they often go together...)

 

You should see a lawyer for details, as you are asking specific legal questions that have specific answers. I am not a lawyer, but I think it's pretty clear that in a state like California, the intent of the law is that all property (including money) acquired during the marriage is considered "community property" and is to be divided equally between the parties at dissolution. I don't think CA takes misbehavior in the form of 'misusing money' or adultery into account - one of the 'benefits', if you will, of the no-fault system is that it doesn't bog down the courts with adversarial litigation that attempts to assign dollar values to marital behaviors.

 

So technically, whatever money and assets you have that were brought into the community after you were married would be divided equally between you. See a lawyer.

 

Likewise, any debt you hold, which was incurred during the marriage, will also be divided, although I think CA law calls it "divided equitably" (as opposed to "equally.") See a lawyer.

 

Finally, I would bet that attempting to hide assets that your wife technically has a right to would be considered a Bad Thing™ by the court. At the point in your divorce proceeding called discovery, where you are supposed to honestly provide complete information about finances, etc., if you willfully hid money or assets, it would be Perjury, Contempt, something like that. See a lawyer.

[Jilly Bean]

Get a VERY good lawyer.

 

If you were supporting your wife during your marriage, chances are good you will get stuck paying alimony in addition to forking over 50% of your pot of gold.

 

The right lawyer will be the best money you can spend right now.

[SexinmyCity]

hello,

 

I will soon be filling for divorce but want to get some advice first.

 

Since I have been the only one bringing money into the marriage. No kids.

And this money was very often misused by my spouse.

 

1- In California. Will she be entitled to any of it? Does her adultery work in my favor at all in this case.

 

2- If I move my money to another account or "give it away" to trusted family for safe keeping. Will it still be taken.

 

thanks

 

How long were you married?

 

Did you bring separate property into the marriage?

 

Has that separate property been co-mingled at all with community property (and your earnings during the marriage are considered community property).

 

All assets, savings etc. accumulated during the marriage, including earnings, retirement, 401k etc. are presumptively community property, unless there was a pre-nup, meaning she is entitled to half. Hiding it or giving it away would be fraudulent and illegal, additionally, you have a fiduciary relationship toward your spouse, meaning you can't screw her just because you are getting a divorce...but there may be ways to protect yourself.

 

Adultery doesn't mean anything...California is a no fault divorce state.

 

What part of California are you in? Depending on your circumstances, it may be better to hire a lawyer sooner rather than later. I am an attorney, by the way.

 

p.s. Don't construe any of the above as legal advice...

[mrgrai]

1-have been married 3 months shy of 6 years.

 

2-We do have separate property and share property. But nothing we share would I have difficulty letting go of. I just don't think she could afford to keep it all anyway.

Will it be mandated that I give her money regularly for the rest of my life? we have no kids. I find it insane that I'd have to pay much more than a support to get her on her feet. She's just never gotten a job. Why should I have to pay her life after divorce?

 

3- at what point is my 401-k and social security given to her. Will the 401k and ss money I continue to build up years after the divorce still be given to her?

 

4- As much as I am willing to not screw her as you say. I find it unfair that she's gonna be living off of my effort. Exactly how, if you can please give me some examples. How can I protect myself. My money.

Exactly how bad is it that I decide to donate a chunk of it to blood family.

Does the court not take into account the thousands she wasted over the years on things I didn't agree on. Why should I not have the same freedom to do with my money as I damn well please?

Please spare any helpful info on how I can keep my money.

 

5-yeah I know about the no-fault thing. I figured it'd mean nothing to a judge. Shame.

 

6-northern California. SF

[Trojan John]

You could simply learn portuguese, liquidate your assets, change your name and move to Brasil or Cabo Verde.

 

Sorry, nothing more constructive to add.

[mrgrai]

ignoring the previous joke.

 

posting again:

1-How long were you married?

 

2-Did you bring separate property into the marriage?

 

3-Has that separate property been co-mingled at all with community property (and your earnings during the marriage are considered community property).

 

4-All assets, savings etc. accumulated during the marriage, including earnings, retirement, 401k etc. are presumptively community property, unless there was a pre-nup, meaning she is entitled to half. Hiding it or giving it away would be fraudulent and illegal, additionally, you have a fiduciary relationship toward your spouse, meaning you can't screw her just because you are getting a divorce...but there may be ways to protect yourself.

 

5-Adultery doesn't mean anything...California is a no fault divorce state.

 

6-What part of California are you in? Depending on your circumstances, it may be better to hire a lawyer sooner rather than later. I am an attorney, by the way.

 

p.s. Don't construe any of the above as legal advice...

---------------------------------------------

 

my questions based on the above:

 

1-have been married 3 months shy of 6 years.

 

2-We do have separate property and share property. But nothing we share would I have difficulty letting go of. I just don't think she could afford to keep it all anyway.

Will it be mandated that I give her money regularly for the rest of my life? we have no kids. I find it insane that I'd have to pay much more than a support to get her on her feet. She's just never gotten a job. Why should I have to pay her life after divorce?

 

3- at what point is my 401-k and social security given to her. Will the 401k and ss money I continue to build up years after the divorce still be given to her?

 

4- As much as I am willing to not screw her as you say. I find it unfair that she's gonna be living off of my effort. Exactly how, if you can please give me some examples. How can I protect myself. My money.

Exactly how bad is it that I decide to donate a chunk of it to blood family.

Does the court not take into account the thousands she wasted over the years on things I didn't agree on. Why should I not have the same freedom to do with my money as I damn well please?

Please spare any helpful info on how I can keep my money.

 

5-yeah I know about the no-fault thing. I figured it'd mean nothing to a judge. Shame.

 

6-northern California. SF

[mrgrai]

I should also add to the questions in my previous post above that:

 

I have not yet filled for divorce. Neither one of us have. And we haven't even talked about it. I figured I could move my money before this all begins.

[Gunny376]

Having been married such a short time, I would (based upon my in-depth study of the subject) doubt that you would have to pay her Long-term alimony, althogh I could be worng, CA being what it is and all. But I seriously doubt it.

 

As a general rule, (even for CA) married less than 10 years? You might be compelled by the courts to pay temporary alimomy. That is until she gets her feet back under her, gets a job, etc. I doubt that having been married six years that you would be obligated to pay long term alimony.

 

That aside, the division of any marital assets acquired after the marriage is going to be pretty much 50/50. To include 401K, IRA's, pensions (miltary, government, etc)

 

But it varies, depending upon various scernios? For example federal law surpcedes state law. So, if a person had a military pension vs a state pension? She would have to have been married to the SO for a minimum of 10 years before she would be entitled to half. Not necessarly so for a CA state pension.

 

You need to (1) talk to an attorney and (2) a financial counalant about the ramifications of your impending divorce before making any decisions.

[Gunny376]

Having been married such a short time, I would (based upon my in-depth study of the subject) doubt that you would have to pay her Long-term alimony, althogh I could be worng, CA being what it is and all. But I seriously doubt it.

 

As a general rule, (even for CA) married less than 10 years? You might be compelled by the courts to pay temporary alimomy. That is until she gets her feet back under her, gets a job, etc. I doubt that having been married six years that you would be obligated to pay long term alimony.

 

That aside, the division of any marital assets acquired after the marriage is going to be pretty much 50/50. To include 401K, IRA's, pensions (miltary, government, etc)

 

But it varies, depending upon various scernios? For example federal law surpcedes state law. So, if a person had a military pension vs a state pension? She would have to have been married to the SO for a minimum of 10 years before she would be entitled to half. Not necessarly so for a CA state pension.

 

You need to (1) talk to an attorney and (2) a financial counalant about the ramifications of your impending divorce before making any decisions.

[SexinmyCity]

You are not a long term marriage (ten years or more)...but if there is a disparity incomes, there will likely be a spousal support obligation, albeit short term. It's in the judge's discretion.

 

Re. separate property and community property, UNLESS YOU HAVE A PRE-NUP, generally speaking, anything acquired during the marriage through your work, efforts, etc. is considered community property...so take a financial snap shot at the date-of-marriage and the date-of-separation. Example- you had 25k in a bank account on the date of marriage, 50k in the bank account at the date of separation...and the increase was due to you depositing your paycheck each week and saving money. She is entitled to 1/2 of the 25k. Do the same for everything, including debts. There are a lot of other rules too, for credits and reimbursements, so a trip to an attorneys office for a consultation would be well worth it.

 

Yes, it sucks...believe me, community property was the scariest class I took in law school.

 

Of course, there is always good old negotiation. If she doesn't hate you, you can sometimes get your ex to do what seems fair, rather than go by the letter of the law. A lot depends on personality type and how angry they are.

[pelicanpreacher]

Since you say that you have neither filed for divorce nor even talked about it then do you have a formal or informal separation agreement in place?

[mrgrai]

- There are no formal or informal separation agreements between us. I have not yet touched the subject.

 

- We have no pre-nup.

 

- No children.

 

- No Home (we rent).

 

-----------------------------------More questions:

 

"Discovery". I have recently learned some about this stage of the process. I want to know as much of the coming storm before it forms.

 

Being that I have all of my financial (bank accounts, 401k, ss, stock options ...) and tax records in my possession. Does the court, if we can't be amicable about our dissolution of marriage. Does the court mandate for me to reveal all of these?

is it a full disclosure?

I am absolutely willing to take care of my spouse's needs until she can get on her own feet. Rent, food. I'd give her our car. I'd be willing to part with all the furniture we own together. Pay for her health insurance until she can afford her own.

 

--------------------------------------Question:

-I would also like to know, what the most common time period of alimony (should this go to trial) is mandated in California. I would hate to have to pay the life of someone who is perfectly capable of working.

 

-----------

- I Want to be as much of a gentleman as I can be in the face of a spouse who has misused my income. Engaged in prescription drug addiction using my name to purchase pharmaceuticals without my consent or knowledge.

One for whom I alone payed for her own 10,000 plus debt over the years.

A spouse who neglected her obligations to the marriage. Never got a job while we were married despite the fact that she was and is perfectly capable (and has a college degree). One for whom I willingly paid for very expensive drug-recovery programs. And reluctantly for minor cosmetic procedures I disagreed with (my spouse did them without my consent. I never held her freedom to do this. Just the fact that it affected our savings for the more vital issues of life). And one who ultimately engaged in a sexual relationship with someone she has continued to communicate with in a loving manner.

 

I will add that all her family has been on my side in the many years we were together before marriage and while we were married. They even have said that I had saved her from her recklessness. And often warned me about her. Yes, I was blinded by love for her.

The past few years have been terrible between us. We have both become horrible to each other. We both have hurt each other verbally. I have never laid a hand on her. She hit me in two occasions. Nothing I couldn't get over but the fact remains. I have been considering separation for a long time but thought that I could still accomplish the impossible. I simply had not been able to get past her hurtful, destructive habits and behavior towards me and this brought a horrible side in me, which I regret. And I admit to having been verbally abusive when the glass would overflow, which happened too often in recent months.

My love for my spouse (which kept me trying) ended when I learned my spouse had been sexually involved with another and that there is love between them.

It is not natural to love one who doesn't love you. And considering the other factors I can be stupid no more.

[TrustInYourself]

I live in CA. I'll address your questions as best as I can. Your best bet is to contact your local Family Law Facilitator, which is provided to you at no charge by your county courthouse. They will give you advice and some understanding into the process and definition, but they will not help you make decisions or offer any legal advice.

 

All your assets are considered community unless you specifically can agree with your spouse otherwise.

 

You must declare all assets and debts. Failure to do so will result in fraud and can be considered reason for the courts to reassess and redistribute your assets.

 

Typically you will find that all assets will be communal unless your spouse or you decide otherwise. If you disagree, then a lawyer comes into play and the judge is forced to make a decision based on income generated during the marriage.

 

I have very little information regarding a contested divorce. My divorce was bound to be very cooperative and my wife was trying to be mutually understanding for the sake of our daughter. She works and earns money, so we are fairly equal providers. Alimony was never an issue.

 

Check this site.

http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/family/divorce/

[mrgrai]

most appreciated.

 

I still would like more information if someone can shed some light on this.

[flc]

As others have said being married only 6 years means you will escape permanent alimony but will have to pay temporary, probably only a few years. Any assets acquired during the marriage are 50% hers including any 401k or other retirement accounts. If you have kids she will probably get custody and you will pay child support. For the 401k she will get a Qualified Domestic Relationship Order, it is a separate legal judgment, how much she gets depends on what is negotiated and the marriage length.

 

Getting an attorney does not help much unless things get very contentious, you just end up giving more money to the lawyers. The best route to take is to understand what her and your rights are, work out an equitable arrangement and then just get a single attorney to draw up the divorce.

 

In the long run fighting about money and assets just isn't worth it. Don't get screwed but just get the thing done and move on. Your lucky it is only 6 years, mine was 20 and I pay 30% of my income as permanent alimony.

[TrustInYourself]

CA is a no fault state so it will be hard to assign blame or force anything on her or against her through a court.

 

Your best bet is to play it cool, be nice, work it out, and separate on the best terms possible. Even if you get out losing half your assets, you're still out. You have a chance to regain and make even more money which she can never touch. Contesting everything is playing into the lawyer's checkbook.