ohwhyme Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 So I initiated NC for 4 months, everything was going great but then suddenly the ex always knows when to strike back. I blocked her, won't return her calls, emails or anything and she eventually made a new s/n to talk to me. I eventually just talked to her very briefly. Never asking any questions just replying to them in short answers. Why doesn't she get the message and why won't she leave me alone? Now all of the thoughts and everything are coming back again.
tealeafbud Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Ummm, My guess is that she is psycho and is really wanting you back. Brother, be glad that you are out of that relationship. Was she ever clingy towards you? Does she have really low self esteem? You really need to cut all ties and if that includes not logging into Yahoo, or AIM or whatever, then do that for a while. Or go invisible if they have it. She is not your problem anymore, just remember that.
0hpenelope Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 They have a radar. They do. Better than the military's or any armed forces in the world, in my opinion.
loveinlife Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 they do, but its because they want you back.. take it or leave it, i would say. hope everything works out for you!
Author ohwhyme Posted September 5, 2008 Author Posted September 5, 2008 well i suppose you guys are correct, I wanted her to be happy so that I could get on with my life. Wish she hadn't contacted me. Now what? They left once, who says they wont leave again heh?
oceanbreeze Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 I don't know if i am considered a psycho girlfriend.... but i'd like to hope not. For me, i was in contact with my ex after the break up.. and i always did try to keep contact. Not because i wanted to remind him of pain or anything like that.. but it was just hard to adjust to losing him a boyfriend and best friend. After a while, he became cold and distant. He started ignoring me and trying to cut contact. I ignorantly tried to continue talking to him.. but i slowly realized that it was over and wrong. I'm still sad that i cannot be apart of his life.. and that he doesn't want to be apart of mine. But i guess it would be hard to be friends.. especially if either of us was to move on properly and start dating other people. I don't know.. i can see that if she's trying too hard to always contact you.. then something is definitely not right. Maybe you should just tell her how you feel. But then again.. i speak from experience that sometimes you just do what you are comfortable with and have always routinely done. At first it was so hard to not call my ex.. because i always called him at certain times. Maybe she's having a hard time getting use to life without you? I dont' know.. i guess it really depends on your situation and how long you guys were going out too. But in the end, you just have to either let her know or let her findout herself that she needs to respect your space. Eventually she'll get the point.
EllaDerSpin Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 why not ask her why she keeps contacting you?
Author ohwhyme Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 shes unhappy with her current relationship and misses me... I don't know what to do. I wish I wasn't put in this position.
BCCA Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 shes unhappy with her current relationship and misses me... I don't know what to do. I wish I wasn't put in this position. Two words my man: TOO BAD! You dont need to be her emotional tampon. If she isnt happy with her current relationship, SHE needs to do something about it herself. You dont want her to 'miss you' because her life sucks. She just wants a Plan B. You dont want to be her backup or waste your time hearing about her problems. I would totally blow her off from now on. This arrangement isnt doing anything for you, and shes being really selfish.
sid3 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 I agree with BC. I may never understand it, but I have always believed that once someone you were with decides to be with someoe else that should be it.They leave, meet someone, yet still want to contact you. It's not right. She should have the respect to leave you alone. I think your doing the right thing having made the choice to move on. Try not to let her selfishness get to you.
EllaDerSpin Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 You cannot help her if you still have feelings for her. I disagree that once someone leaves they no longer deserve your love or compassion, but you need to make sure that you are strong or you are no good to anybody. If the situation hurts you, then you are not ready for it. Explain this to her, she will understand.
sid3 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 It wasn't my intention to say that once someone leaves to be with someone else that they no longer deserve compassion, what I was saying, albiet poorly, was that once a person decides to be with someone else, I cannot see why there would be any desire to have that person in my life romantically again. Some people will take back cheaters, some won't, it just means that we all have our specific deal breakers.
BCCA Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 You cannot help her if you still have feelings for her. I disagree that once someone leaves they no longer deserve your love or compassion, but you need to make sure that you are strong or you are no good to anybody. If the situation hurts you, then you are not ready for it. Explain this to her, she will understand. Its been my experience that being a friend with your ex is almost pointless. By the time youre over the emotional attachments, you wonder why you even want to bother. I have plenty of friends that never broke my heart and made me feel like s**t. I dont care if they had to do what was best for them, what was good for them sucked for me. I give people credit who can be ok with being friends, but even with those people, youre probably talking about years apart and other relationships before youre ok.
Author ohwhyme Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 Yea I don't see the point of being friends. I'll have no idea what to talk about etc. I still care about her but I don't know I'm pretty confused. What if she leaves again, I guess you only know realized what you lost until its too late. I'm not over her but I was getting there. No contact helped a lot but its all back again ffs.
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