BabySinclair Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I don't know where to post this. Recently I watched a documentary called "Loving and Cheating" and in it the question arose whether or not someone who is cheating should confess or conceal. I was surprised (perhaps I am naive) by some of the answers. Some believed if it was "minor" cheating it doesn‘t need to be confessed. Others said not to tell, just let that person think you are faithful and deal with the guilt yourself. Would you confess or conceal? Does it matter the "level" of the cheating? Would you want your SO if they cheated to confess or conceal? Again, does the "level" matter? Personally I would confess. I have never cheated and don‘t plan on it but if I did I couldn‘t live with myself hiding it. I‘d want to be told if I was cheated on, no matter how "little" it may seem . I think all secrets come out eventually. I may be saved the heartbreak of not being told but eventually I‘ll find out. I am still pretty young and have had very few relationships. However I do have morals. It scares me to think that someone could cheat on me and I wouldn‘t know.
ed-205 Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Having been cheated on more times than I care to count, I can give you one perspective. What always hurt me more than the actual act that might have been committed was the breach of trust. If any of my ex's had the guts to confess to me, I might have been able to forgive them and learn to trust them again. It was impossible for them to conceal the truth from me forever - someone else always knew, someone else always talked, and it always came back to me sooner or later. In that case, finding out from someone else that I had been intentionally lied to and purposely deceived destroyed the trust I had in them, and without trust, forgiveness was impossible, no matter how hard I tried.
Author BabySinclair Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 Having been cheated on more times than I care to count, I can give you one perspective. What always hurt me more than the actual act that might have been committed was the breach of trust. If any of my ex's had the guts to confess to me, I might have been able to forgive them and learn to trust them again. It was impossible for them to conceal the truth from me forever - someone else always knew, someone else always talked, and it always came back to me sooner or later. In that case, finding out from someone else that I had been intentionally lied to and purposely deceived destroyed the trust I had in them, and without trust, forgiveness was impossible, no matter how hard I tried. Thank you for that perspective. I agree with confessing may merit a second chance.
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