I answered an online ad and found the male version of me

[sveltskye]

Ok, here's some weirdness: I've been considering myself not ready to date, because I had two guys break up with me in the last year and a half and I felt I needed to recover. But I still have had this compulsion lately to browse the personals ads in craiglist (well, everything in craigslist, really- I'm a bit addicted). Anyways, I found this guy in m4w who liked the same music as me, and although I had not been contacting anybody, I liked the way he wrote his ad, so I plunged in and wrote him. I told him staight up that I wasn't ready to jump into a relationship, but that we had similar interests and that maybe we could be friends, at least at first. I sent him my myspace link.

So he wrote me back and sent me his myspace link as well, and we've been talking for the last few days. I was checking out his myspace and he's decently cute, and I read one of his blogs and thought it was hilarious. So I ended up reading his entire blog history, and he's a really good writer (its what he went to school for) and I really enjoyed reading it.

But it was kind of freaky because we are incredibly similar! Besides the fact that we have the exact same taste in music, down to our favorite band being the exact same, reading the things he wrote I was thinking "here's someone who thinks the way I do"! It was just freaky. I think he may have the same disorder I have as well. He even has the same coloring as me. Then I found out that one of his friends (or possibly an ex?) is the **** buddy that my oh so charming ex decided to tell me about when I was almost-but-not-quite over him.

Anyways, its just kind of strange. I don't know if that's a good sign or what, but we're gonna meet for coffee and I'm gonna stick by my "friends for a while" thing even if I end up liking him.

[sunshinegirl]

Interesting. Who knows what will happen. I just met the "male version of me" via match.com. On paper and over email it was great. Then we met in person and... phhhhhht. Nothing. No zing, no connection, no spark.

 

I had kinda thought "why would I want to date myself?" anyway so maybe I sabotaged myself. Who knows, though. Nothing will come of it and I'm fine with that.

 

You seem to be going in with a good attitude. Good luck.

[audrey_1]

The person I'm struggling with now is very similar to me; I'm not sure whether this is good or bad. In a sense, you know you can do what you enjoy, but in another, it may get boring, or the bad character traits you display, they will also display. In my situation, it's been really difficult.

[jen's mind]

It sounds like there's enough to be excited about, but you're right on target with wanting to take it slow. Find out if he really is the male version of you, and if a male you is really what you want in a boyfriend. Meeting him in person is certainly the first step. Your chemistry will tell a lot about how things might develop.

[sveltskye]

Thanks for the comments, guys! I am meeting him tomorrow. I am kind of excited. I really get a kick out of his online personality, and I can't wait to see if he's as funny in person.

I'll let you know how it goes.

[Green]

he might not be funny in person right off the bat, you might want to go in with no expectations that way you don't dump him just because he didn't live up to all this hype your building

[sveltskye]

well, don't worry I am certainly not going to dump him since I'm not even going to jump into anything with him quickly! If I'm not interested then, well, I've made a new friend. But trust me, I give guys a lot of chance- I didn't know if I was super into either of my exes but I gave them both a chance and ended up really liking them. On the contrary, in fact, all of my reservations more have to do with the fact that I end up often liking a guy too much.

But we'll see. Anyways- hype I'm building? What hype? I was really just surprised that such a random connection had so much in common with me superficially, and I thought his blogs were funny. I don't see what's wrong with enjoying that.

[Green]

nothings wrong with that

[Trialbyfire]

Good luck with your date!

 

As food for thought, women when they find men they're interested in, tend to subconsciously try to synchronize with them. I think men tend to do the same, more consciously though, to the extent that it's become part of the pick up artists repertoire.

[sveltskye]

That's interesting, Trialbyfire. (I do love your name, btw).

 

So I met him yesterday. And it was really interesting. I was right, we are incredibly similar. In fact, we had times where he would say something, and it was exactly what I'd always thought, or vice versa. There were even things that were similar that I hadn't realized online, for example the fact that we both refrain from smoking (pot, cigarettes, anything) just cause its just not really anything he or I want to do. This wouldn't be so strange except that we live in Santa Cruz county, where you can't throw a stone without hitting a stoner, so to speak. There were times when it was like he was taking the words out of my mouth, and we have the exact same taste in music. He's a bit more insecure than me, I think.

He has a great personality. Sigh. I wish he was a little more attractive. I'm trying not to worry about it right now and just enjoy having a new friend, but its hard for me not to stress out when there's the possibility that I might have to reject somebody, or even that I might not, and end up dating somebody that's not as attractive as me.

You know, I do have a question for you guys. How do I keep this solidly in a friend zone right now? Cause sometimes the lines blur a little and I feel like its already got a bit of a date-y feel. We're going to go to a concert together and a movie, which are things I do with my friends, but maybe its not appropriate right now? I don't know.

[Mary3]

I would stress the friends thing in everything you do if you don't want romance in the picture.

 

If he tries to kiss you , just put your hand up and tell him " Hey I am not looking for romance "