hades07 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 My ex and I broke-up three months ago today because she is very afraid of making any commitment other than being a girlfriend (she has a lot of personal issues stemming from her family to blame for this) and I wanted to start taking our relationship more serious after three years so we decided to part ways, for now. Well my problem is after grieving, then feeling alot better and dating women and now dating one exclusively, wanting to be with my ex again is as strong as ever. A couple of weeks ago I couldn't have cared less if we got back together, but over the last couple of weeks the closer I get to this new girl the more I realize I may never get back what I had with me ex, the comfortness and just being happy to see her walk into my apartment. It doesn't help recently she'll either call me or message me on msn saying she's not as happy with the new guy shes dating, she's lonely, and wishes she could come spend nights and cuddle with me and even starts crying. I was just wondering is this another phase that people in long-term relationships go through or will I have to do something about this. Im not depressed or anything like I was first when we broke up and wanted to get back together but I do think about her alot and can't really enjoy the company of this new woman cause she makes me think about my ex and the things she did different that makes me happy that this new girl doesnt.
tealeafbud Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 You know that it isn't fair to your new love interest that you are speaking to your ex. what you need to do is stop all contact with your ex for the time being. what is going to end up happening if you continue to speak is that you'll both be confused about your current relationships and of the old relationships. It's better just to give your attention to the one that deserves it.
pandagirl Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Maybe start focusing on the great thing about your current relationship, rather than dwelling about your old one. Everyone has pros and cons, and I'm sure your new girlfriend has a lot of positives than you ex doesn't!! Also, the above poster is correct: you need to stop talking to your ex!
seminoles84 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I agree. Need to stop talking to the Ex. You're not only hurting yourself.. but you will eventually hurt the new person you're in a relationship.
orangehose Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I would even say consider putting the new relationship on hold, or actually ending it, for now... It's not fair to the new girl either if you're longing for someone else.
blackandblue Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 3 months isn't long enough to get over a 3 year relationship. You need to go N.C. with your ex and probably also put the new relationship on hold until you get yourself together. You've gotten involved with someone new too soon, you haven't given yourself a chance to heal.
Author hades07 Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 I agree with what everyone is saying its just so hard, and not because I like her but we were so close and never had a bad break-up at all, and share alot of the same friends so its easy for us to always know what the other is doing. I try not talking to her, but I go more than a day she starts calling and texting me wondering if I am mad at her. When I tell her im not mad just busy, though im not that busy lately, she tells me she wants me to come visit her at work or somewhere, even though the new guy she's dating works with her. As for the new girl we don't see each other too much and I told her from the start I didn't want a girlfriend anytime soon and she said she was fine with that but I have a feeling she is getting sort of attached recently which I do feel bad for.
loveinlife Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Hello, I've had a situation like that. It still bothers me. I dated two girls after i broke up with my ex. I still think about her and would rather be with the old one than the new ones. Sometimes i would rather be with the old one and start a future with her. just my 2cents. Good luck to you bro!
HopeDiesLast Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Hello, I've had a situation like that. It still bothers me. I dated two girls after i broke up with my ex. I still think about her and would rather be with the old one than the new ones. Sometimes i would rather be with the old one and start a future with her. just my 2cents. Good luck to you bro! loveinlife- if you want her, why dont you get her back? you ended it, you dated two others, it didnt work, and u still want her. so what are u waiting for?
Author hades07 Posted September 4, 2008 Author Posted September 4, 2008 Loveinlife I know what you mean I can see me spending my life with her and thats what makes it hard, we talk periodically and when we do she cries and then starts saying things like when were ready come get her and she'll be with me, and leave whoever she's with or cries cause she remembers how sweet I am or how much she misses me and wonders if we made the right decision and stuff like that. Last week or so have been harder than the two previous ones.
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