Matt105 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I started dating a girl in late April. We've gotten along so well, I mean.. like bread and butter. Same likes, same dislikes. We're perfectly content to rent a video game together for our saturday night, or go out and do rock climbing / running etc.. After 2 months of this (mid-july) we told each other our love and since then we've really fallen for each other. Everything seems good so far.. A couple weeks ago she told me why she had been saving money all Summer. She is thinking about going to Australia when she graduates from college (December). Obviously, if she went, it'd be for a while, and we would not last. I've asked her a few times if she actually IS going to go or not, and she is unsure. She claims that she is sick of living here in Charleston but she doesn't know if she really wants to leave or not. So then a few days ago I found out that a guy-friend of hers that she has history with is in Australia and she would be going to where he is because she would want to know someone. Hmm... smells fishy.. I asked her about him and she says they still keep in touch but he is just a friend. What do you guys think? I really love this girl and she loves me. I've never said that about a girl, and she's never said that about a guy. If she really loves me, she won't go, right? And then at the same time .. I know she is just sick of living here. And I just got into a job that I plan on working at here for 2 years... I realize we've only been together for 4 months. But we literally spend all of our time together. I mean.. except for work, all day-every day. We just get along so well. I haven't asked her too much about this. I've just been thinking.. She says she loves me and I really do feel that she does, but.. what if? what if I am just a summer/winter fling until she decides to go to the other side of the world for a few years? Is it worth it for me to keep investing time/love/effort into this relationship? Should I just play it cool since it is still a ways away and just cross that bridge when we get to it? I realize that if she goes, her and I are finished. I"m sure she realizes this too. It is really up to her, I suppose. What do you think?
xpaperxcutx Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Overlook her possible infidelity for the moment and ask yourself whether you believe in LDRs. If you don't see LDR working out, then it's inevitable that you'll break up with her.
Shygirl15 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Eh. Appears to me she's not THAT into to you, otherwise why would she want to move just because she's sick of Charleston? And why is she bored with the town anyway; she has YOU there, hasn't she??
stefspets Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 She said she wasn't sure she was still going so it's hard to make a decision based on the information you have. Did she have these plans before she met you? It seems like she did, and probably just saved up for these plans because she didn't know how things between the two of you would work out. Even now she may not be sure, at only four months. Maybe she's not sure how serious you are about her. If you're not serious, and she's only a "fling" to you, then if she changes her plans to stay with you, she might regret it later. This is just one possibility--the only way to know for sure is to talk to her about this. Tell her how you feel about her. Do you see a future with her? Is that what you want? You need to have a conversation about what each of you want, for right now, for the future, and for the relationship. She told you what she was planning on doing to open up this conversation, so talk to her and find out where she stands. I wouldn't worry about the other guy. If you were moving to another continent you would probably want to be near someone you knew--at least I would. Based on what you've said that's all it sounds like. Focus on communicating with her about what she wants for the future, and not on this guy.
Author Matt105 Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 Eh. Appears to me she's not THAT into to you, otherwise why would she want to move just because she's sick of Charleston? And why is she bored with the town anyway; she has YOU there, hasn't she?? She went to college in charleston for 4 years (it's now her 5th year) while I went to college in a different city and then moved here to work. She said she wasn't sure she was still going so it's hard to make a decision based on the information you have. Did she have these plans before she met you? It seems like she did, and probably just saved up for these plans because she didn't know how things between the two of you would work out. Even now she may not be sure, at only four months. Maybe she's not sure how serious you are about her. If you're not serious, and she's only a "fling" to you, then if she changes her plans to stay with you, she might regret it later. This is just one possibility--the only way to know for sure is to talk to her about this. Tell her how you feel about her. Do you see a future with her? Is that what you want? You need to have a conversation about what each of you want, for right now, for the future, and for the relationship. She told you what she was planning on doing to open up this conversation, so talk to her and find out where she stands. I wouldn't worry about the other guy. If you were moving to another continent you would probably want to be near someone you knew--at least I would. Based on what you've said that's all it sounds like. Focus on communicating with her about what she wants for the future, and not on this guy. Yeah she had the plans made about a month before she met me. And you're right.. I think in a month or two I will talk to her about "seriousness" if I am still feeling it. And thanks for the advice on that other guy. THat is kinda what I am thinking and in all honesty, I was just putting that info out there; im not too worried about infidelity. Who knows though
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