Author Beyond Eternity Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 Well we just talked for about 15 minutes because she sent me an offline message telling me she had really important things to tell me. I told myself I wouldn't let it go on for longer than 10 mins max, but when I saw what I was doing was working like a charm, I had to say a few more things to her. Basically, she told me the first two days she was worried sick about me and that was a bad thing. Thank god I went online to tell her I'm alright, so I already knew I made a 2nd right move (the first being going NC to begin with). She told me that worrying about me "kinda made a lot of things come out that I can't say to you otherwise". This means she has feelings but she still doesn't want to tell them to me. Then she said when I popped in, she started feeling less and thinking more because worry brought more out of her. She went on to say that was a good thing though because if she worried too much, she would have lost her mind, being almost exactly like her (and I really mean that, we're alike in so many ways, you'd think we were the same person if we were the same gender... LOL) I knew that wouldn't have been good. Then she said "being friends isn't half bad" and I went on to make a daredevil move and said "I don't want you as just a friend." This scared her immediately, I knew because she didn't respond instantly like with the other things I said. She asked why not and I told her a bunch of b/s reasons, not any dumb things like 'just because' or 'because you have no feelings for me anymore'. Things more along the lines of "if I am with you, I can't move on" and "there'll be too much of a reminder of the past whenever we talk, we're bound to come across something that'll remind us and I don't want to dwell in those feelings once it happens." She asked what I'd be to her if not a friend, and I said "it's not up to me, you broke it off. Either more or less, but I don't know, I've had a lot of thoughts since you broke it off." She asked me what 'less' would be. I said "part of my past." Then she didn't respond again instantly but said "well scaring me is definitely making me think and feel a lot right now..." this probably means she doesn't want to lose me and is scared that if she doesn't show her feelings, that I'll move on with my life. This is working really well so far! Then I told her I had to go, busy busy busy. She asked me if I could talk to her again really quickly tomorrow and I said "i'll see". Then I made up some excuse not to talk to her for a week after tomorrow, I did that after we talked everything over; because now I'm 100% sure she has feelings for me. Before I left she said "One thing I know for sure right now is I don't want you as just a part of my past" so I just have to keep NC up and give her time I suppose. At the same time.. I'm starting to feel less already, I didn't think it could happen to be honest. Oh well... right now I'm in a really bummed out mood, it might be because my food order's half an hour late already lol but I guess it will help me move on incase she doesn't try to get me back. Secretly I wish she will try, I know she still cares...
Author Beyond Eternity Posted September 9, 2008 Author Posted September 9, 2008 I spoke with her last night again. We discussed a lot of the relationship, a lot of problems, reflected a lot of emotions, struggles, etc. This went on for hours, and I can see she really does want this to work out, she's already trying to figure out what went wrong! The thing is, she's going away for a week. I suggested time alone to reflect on thoughts and she suggested the very same at the same time that I did. I told her she could think all she'd like so long as she comes back to me prepared and not desperate or lonely or anything else that can make everything go wrong again. She did not send any desperate messages at all, I think she is very calm and confident in this... she's not baiting me or anything, even if it looked like it at first, or at least, that's how I feel now. So today's almost done... 6 more days until she gets back. I really really hope things go well this time around, that we talk everything over when she gets back so we can get back together! So far things are looking really good I have a few quick questions out of curiosity for those who'd be willing to take a minute to answer. 1. Is this week apart going to be good or bad if we're both trying to patch things up? 2. Does it make sense that she's not acting desperate, but instead, calm and understanding? Is this good or bad? 3. Is this too soon to come back together? (After this week, it'll be almost three weeks since we broke up) Many thanks in advance and for all the help so far! It was a really weird combination of putting all of the advice together, but clearly neither of us want to move on, and still feel deeply for one another... I'm just a bit worried of what her final opinion will be after this week... if she'll still want me back or not, but she most probably will try to patch things up and once again, I'll only do so if I can see she knows where things went wrong and is more than willing to try very hard to fix things.
me007 Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 I have a few quick questions out of curiosity for those who'd be willing to take a minute to answer. 1. Is this week apart going to be good or bad if we're both trying to patch things up? 2. Does it make sense that she's not acting desperate, but instead, calm and understanding? Is this good or bad? 3. Is this too soon to come back together? (After this week, it'll be almost three weeks since we broke up) the week won't hurt, I think. More time to think what was wrong before and how to make it better if yous get back together. She could be playing the same game as you, staying cool and calm. Wouldn't it be funny if our exes were reading forums like these and see our posts and knew what we were up to and thinking? Try to stay calm, since you don't know for sure if she's going to come back. Even thought it all sounds good, you don't want to be disappointed later either. If you get back together, take it slow. Talk things out on what was wrong before and yous can do to make have made it better. Think of it as dating a new person almost, just talk and hangout and see how it goes before rushing anything. Good luck.
Blondi26 Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 I'm going to disagree with most of the people here... People don't waste that much time talking on the phone with people that they don't give a crap about. I'm sure she has people that she can talk to, besides you. Unless is terribly lonely and antisocial in which case you prolly should dump her anyway. But, you are making yourself too available to her. STOP! This girl is getting her cake and then eating it too. Don't contact her. Let her come to you. If she does come to you, don't respond to her first message or respond a few days later. Be polite but aloof. If a month has passed by and no word from her, then try giving her a call. Say how busy you have been and how happy. Mention a new girl that you are seeing. How pretty she is and how well you too go together. Maybe even put up a nice away message about this new girl. She doesn't have to be real, you just have to make it seem like she is. You could even get a friend to pretend to be her, and then add her as in a relationship with you on facebook or myspace. This girl knows she has you. And she doesn't respect you for it. Show her you are a man. Girls tend to like guys who f them over.
me007 Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Trying to purposely get them jealous isn't going to do anything and is just a waste of time. I tried with my ex-bf and when I did that he said "now it's definitely over". It makes things worse. Either it will push them away more or they will think you aren't interested anymore. Going through so much trouble to put a facebook up and away messages and have a friend lying she's his new girl just looks like he's bored with way too much time on his hands. If he does get back with this girl he then has to explain he was lying about that and will make it harder to get back together since he was making stuff up. Just my opinion and based on some experience. I'm going to disagree with most of the people here... People don't waste that much time talking on the phone with people that they don't give a crap about. I'm sure she has people that she can talk to, besides you. Unless is terribly lonely and antisocial in which case you prolly should dump her anyway. But, you are making yourself too available to her. STOP! This girl is getting her cake and then eating it too. Don't contact her. Let her come to you. If she does come to you, don't respond to her first message or respond a few days later. Be polite but aloof. If a month has passed by and no word from her, then try giving her a call. Say how busy you have been and how happy. Mention a new girl that you are seeing. How pretty she is and how well you too go together. Maybe even put up a nice away message about this new girl. She doesn't have to be real, you just have to make it seem like she is. You could even get a friend to pretend to be her, and then add her as in a relationship with you on facebook or myspace. This girl knows she has you. And she doesn't respect you for it. Show her you are a man. Girls tend to like guys who f them over.
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