XxBacktoBlackXx Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 I have been dating my BF for a month and a week (around there). I am really developing strong feelings for him! I know this is a really silly question...basically, my BF has this thing for really big breasts. I know that's not abnormal. He always talks about how this or that girl is "too flat". Well, I do not have big boobs. I am about a 34 B or 36 B depending...and have lost a lot of weight recently (not on purpose) because these past couple of months I was stressed. Anyway, I am wondering if my BF is not attracted to me because of my boobs because he seems to think that everyone that is not a C or D cup is extremely flat. He has shown me porn sites he looks at and all of them are boob sites it seems. I am starting to feel a little bit weird about this...not that he likes them, but that I am not big enough for him. Is this a weird question? I guess I am feeling really insecure.
CaliGuy Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 This is a red flag. Especially since he makes snide comments like "She's too flat..." Very judgemental and immature on his part. And now he has you wondering if your boobs won't be good enough for him. It'd like like a woman saying "That guy has no bulge...." Always remember the 2nd date rule: "Is this the sort of behavior I would tolerate on a second date?" If not, drop him like a hot potatoe.
Lizzie60 Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Then if you think he's ONLY attracted to big boobs.. why do you think he hooked up with you? There is obviously more than just the boobs thing.. just forget about this... although he may likes big boobs.. he may dig you a whole lot more..
nicki Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 So, he talks about other women's bodies, regularly looks at porn sites and knowing your "size," talks about flat chests? Hmm, sounds pretty insensitive to me. Men who are smart don't talk about other women around their woman. Instead, they make their woman feel like the most desirable woman in the world. Have you told him that you don't like it when he talks like that to you? If so, does he continue to do it? Another red flag if he doesn't care about how you feel. Really, though, why don't you start talking about how men who "measure" less than 8 inches are "small." Show him porn sites with well-endowed men. Comment on men you see on tv or out in public. Say how "small" or "big" some of them look. I know it's petty. See how mean it is when he does it do you? I'm small too, 32B, so I know what you mean. Be proud of your pretty little boobs. A lot of guys love 'em small. A lot of guys just plain don't care about that stuff anyway. They like your whole package. All I know is if the guy I'm with starting commenting like your guy, I'd say something like "Hey, I'm not big chested," and then see what he says. If he didn't cut out the comments, I'd cut him out of my life for being such an idiot.
nicki Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 By the way, big passion in bed trumps big boobs any day.
Lauriebell82 Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Then if you think he's ONLY attracted to big boobs.. why do you think he hooked up with you? There is obviously more than just the boobs thing.. just forget about this... although he may likes big boobs.. he may dig you a whole lot more.. This is what crossed my mind as well. If he likes girls who are big-boobed and you aren't, then he must be with you for other reasons. If it's bothering you that much I suggest you just ask him. Say something like "hey hun, I notice that you talk about women with huge breasts and say that girls who are not at least a C cup are flat. Well, is there an issue that I am a B cup and fairly normal-sized? Does that bother you at all?" Then see what he responds.
smiley23 Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 I dont think this is a weird question AT ALL...You know what, I dont think thats very nice at all... I wouldnt be too impressed if he said that to me as Caliguy said its like you saying that bulge isnt big enough..what age is this guy? He shouldnt be making you feel so insecure, esp at this early stage, this aint a good sign... see how it goes and if it continues ya know what to do..You want a guy to make you feel great about you!!..Not worry about other women and make u feel small :-)
LionLover Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Good, tell him to fork over $10K for your chi chi's then if it bothers him so much.
Shygirl15 Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Then if you think he's ONLY attracted to big boobs.. why do you think he hooked up with you? There is obviously more than just the boobs thing.. just forget about this... although he may likes big boobs.. he may dig you a whole lot more.. Maybe it was just one of those situations. I don't really like skinny guys but the few times I ended up with them, the whole skinny thing was still bothersome to me.
carhill Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 A perhaps cruel observation is that the OP is a time-filler until the proper-sized boobs come along ..... OP, if you find the man's behavior unacceptable (the parts which impelled this post), then tell him and own your perspective. If he's true BF material, he'll change those behaviors to a more loving timbre.
djhall Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Please don't take this the wrong way, but since you said you are feeling insecure about this, as a male I think 34B/36B beats a D or bigger every time! I know there are plenty of other guys like me out there, we just tend to be quiet about our preference since the "bigger is better" crowd tend to be rather intolerant of those who disagree. I would be extremely leery of this situation. I can only think of two explainations for why a boyfriend of just over a month is repeatedly pointing out that he has a major thing for women and porn with bigger breasts than yours. 1) The guy is, as pointed out by other people, utterly insensitive. If you really care about someone and are happy with them the way they are, you don't run around reminding them constantly about the areas in which they don't measure up to your ideal. 2) He isn't happy with you the way you are and is making sure you know this up front so he can use it to defend himself down the road. This way when he wants you to get breast enlaregement surgery, he has an affair with a big breasted woman, he wants a threesome with your well endowed friend, he wants the two of you to have an open marriage or take up swinging, he wants you to get him off while he watches porn, or he skips sex with you to masturbate to porn instead, he can turn it around and blame you for denying him when you knew you didn't give him what he needed, you accepted it, you stuck with him, and now all of a sudden you want to have a problem with him needing big breasts. Either way, this raises a serious red flag for big problems (no pun intended) down the road in your relationship.
Lizzie60 Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Maybe you should ask him why he's with you if he's such a big tits' type of guy.. then you'll get your answer.. much better than for us trying to figure your bf out..
carhill Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Hey, Lizzie, if people communicated in relationships, LS wouldn't exist. Don't mess with a good thing
rod_in_gtown Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I like the sight of a B cup just as much or maybe even more than a C or D. To me it's important how they look in proportion to the whole frame. I'm more of a "whole picture" kind of guy, and I've had girls with small breasts and they still looked sexy to me. It's all about how you carry yourself and have confidence. or at least fake it till you make it.
soserious1 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 You've been dating for 5 weeks and this kind of stuff is already starting? huge red flag waving here.
Green Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I like big boobs but have gone out with flatter chicks, I'm ok with the fact some girls are flat but big boobs would be nicer.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I like big boobs but have gone out with flatter chicks, I'm ok with the fact some girls are flat but big boobs would be nicer. That's not really helping is it KMT? OP, maybe it's time to wonder about whether a relationship will really work out with this guy. If something as boob size is bothering you, what would happen if he starts poking fun at the way you look, i.e. how you do your hair, what you wear, etc. It was very insensitive of him to bring up the subject matter, and you need to broach to him about it so as to rid yourselves of any animosity, insecurity, problems.
Green Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I was just trying to give insight... like if I'm going to ask a girl out I may say she's cute I like her... shed be better with better boobs but her face and body are good enough as is so I'll go out with her
Tomcat33 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I think he may be able to overlook it for now since you are both in the getting to know stage of the relationship, but if he is showing such insensitive signs this early on and is making comments like this so far, what more can be expected of him further down the road? It would be like going out with a guy that had a modest penis and constantly making remarks about how HOT a big penis is. Totally inapropriate and insensitive. This is abuse in the making. I had a friend who was flat as a board and her boyfriend would always make comments about chicks with big boobs other times he would cross the line and making little jokes about how good my breasts were etc. making me feel uncomfortable and her. This really did a number on my then friend, and he convinced her to get a boob job. Well she did and she was toothpick thin with Pamela Anderson boobs, not only did it look ridiculous the surgeon that did her gave her the Tori Spelling tunnel cleavage jobbie. Anway she wasn't too pleased but if that weren't enough he dumped her a year later. Anway she went on to marry a really sweet and hot guy and her ex is 5.6 bald, fat and alone. A jerk is a jerk and very rarely do they get better in time they actually get worse so be careful he is already showing you his insensitive side. You will always feel less than adequate by his side because he will make sure to play on your insecurity, not only do those kinds of men get off on a body part you don't possess they get off on emotionally abusing you too.
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 I think I made everything out to be worse than what it was...although I'm still feeling a little insecure about my "size". When I was younger, I was one of the last to go through puberty, so I always used to think that I would never get cleavage (lol) and then once I did, I thought maybe it was not big enough. I actually used to want implants because I thought it would be more feminine...but I have a figure eight body due to my being slender and my behind. Sorry to give out so many details...TMI. Anyway, well the porn sites aren't as bad as how it sounded when I posted. I posted my post before I went to the library and was in a rush to get there so I couldn't accurately explain everything. We randomly talked about sites we used to visit and he told me when he was younger he would look at these specific sites (the ones with the chics with huge boobs) and it seems like all of them were those sites. But he does always call people flat. For instance, he told me most Asian girls are flat but then there was this website he visited that showed Asians with huge natural boobs and he showed me the website. He doesn't mean it in a condescending way...we just get to talking about sexual things, I guess. He has told me several times that he thinks I have a really hot body but with all the boob talk, I do wonder. I am going to ask him about it when the time comes. We had sex 7 times today...I guess things are going well then...
pandagirl Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I don't think a boyfriend should EVER point out any physical shortcomings of a girlfriend. He should adore you and never make you feel like you're anything less than perfect!
Tomcat33 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I think I made everything out to be worse than what it was...although I'm still feeling a little insecure about my "size". When I was younger, I was one of the last to go through puberty, so I always used to think that I would never get cleavage (lol) and then once I did, I thought maybe it was not big enough. I actually used to want implants because I thought it would be more feminine...but I have a figure eight body due to my being slender and my behind. Sorry to give out so many details...TMI. Anyway, well the porn sites aren't as bad as how it sounded when I posted. I posted my post before I went to the library and was in a rush to get there so I couldn't accurately explain everything. We randomly talked about sites we used to visit and he told me when he was younger he would look at these specific sites (the ones with the chics with huge boobs) and it seems like all of them were those sites. But he does always call people flat. For instance, he told me most Asian girls are flat but then there was this website he visited that showed Asians with huge natural boobs and he showed me the website. He doesn't mean it in a condescending way...we just get to talking about sexual things, I guess. He has told me several times that he thinks I have a really hot body but with all the boob talk, I do wonder. I am going to ask him about it when the time comes. We had sex 7 times today...I guess things are going well then... Well if this is the case, now you say there is absolutely nothing wrong, then what was the point of the original post!?!?
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 Well, I have been feeling really insecure about it...I was just wondering if other people thought maybe there was a problem.
Tomcat33 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Yes we pointed out what the problem is but you seem to justify it by saying everything is ok and it's not as it seems so....what's the problem then?
LionLover Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Yes we pointed out what the problem is but you seem to justify it by saying everything is ok and it's not as it seems so....what's the problem then? I think she fixed her problem when she said that they had sex 7 times today.
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