butterfly2508 Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 My BF and I have been together for seven years and I finally ended it. We broke up last year 4 months before we were supposed to get married because he cheated and he was being a jerk about it. I moved back to my parents house and for a few months was doing fine on my own. Then he wanted me back, begged, said he was a fool. I said ok, after-all 6 years and he had never done anything like that and everyone makes mistakes. We have been trying for a year to make things work and they did for awhile. We started to drift apart again. Things have been gradually getting worse. I don't remember the last time he told me or showed me he loved me. Then he has been hanging out with his ex and it bothered me. Then she invited him on a trip to vegas with her and her friends. He thought it would be ok to go, we fought about it. It shouldn't have been an issue, if you love someone you don't go on a trip with another girl. It just became so bad. We broke up about 3 weeks ago and then two days later he said lets try counseling. i agreed since we have been together 7 years and it would be a shame to throw it all away just like that. We went to one session and it went well, then 4 days before session 2 he brought up the whole vegas thing again. I was so mad, because it was so wrong and he didn't see it. We got into a fight the day before our session. He has had an issue with my weight, since I've gained like 50 lbs since we've been together. He told me that if he had never met me and saw me on the street he would not give me a second look. and then he continued to say more hurtful things. The second session went horrible. After all he could say is "how do feel about the relationship, what do you want to do?" THen the next day he said I need a decision, tickets aren't getting any cheaper. I made my decision then. I went home and while he was at class packed up most of my stuff and left. He came home to an empty house, he never even called me. It was 3 days before we even talked, and that was because I was letting him know that I was coming over Saturday to get the rest of my stuff. He was ok, he even packed up my stuff for me so when I got there there wasn't much to do. We made arrangements to meet today to pay bills that were due. He was a mess, in tears. Telling me he can't live without me and he hates coming home and not having anyone to talk to. It was awfully awkward. I really don't want to be with him. I had no doubts in leaving. He wants me back and I don't know how to get through to him that it's over and as hard as it he needs to move on. HELP!!!!!
BCCA Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Get everything he has of yours, change your accounts to reflect only one of your names if there are joint accounts, send in a change of address form, and do everything you can so that your lives are not intertwined in any way. Then, completely ignore him. If you go someplace and he happens to be there, leave. If he shows up at your house, dont answer the door. You have to completely remove yourself from his life, and do not speak to him unless you have no other choice. Make it very clear that you are moving on, and so should he.
wizzlebee Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 im really sorry about your situation, but he said and done some really nasty things to you. Wanting to go with his ex ...WTF!!!!! You right in getting mad about that, he was a complete jerk about it. Its going to be very hard to break ties completely because you've spent 7 years in each others lives, but its something you know you have to do. best of luck
Author butterfly2508 Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 now he sent me flowers at work! What do I do?
porter218 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 now he sent me flowers at work! What do I do? Throw them away!! He is an absolute jerk. Ignore him like as if he never existed. Whatever you do don't make the mistake of trying to work it out with him.
BCCA Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Throw them away!! He is an absolute jerk. Ignore him like as if he never existed. Whatever you do don't make the mistake of trying to work it out with him. I agree. Dont waste your time on this anymore.
Author butterfly2508 Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 ok, so i ignored him. He sent me a text last night. We own a home together so something for my health insurance had come in the mail and he let me know. All i answered back was "ok". Then like 10 minutes later he sent a text asking if I received anything today. i waited and answered back, yeah that was nice. He sent back "i still love you and please don't give away what comes tomorrow for you." I answered back with "don't spend anymore more money." Then it's the response "I'm lost without you, I don't sleep, ea, can't think clear, my stomach does circles, feels like my heart is coming out of my chest." I didn't respond, I left it alone. I really don't know what to do with him. i really don't want to get back together. So much has been done and said by him. He disrespects me and my family. He says hurtful things to me, even though he says he's joking, I don't find them funny, but he still does it. I just feel happier without him. I'm the type of person who can't be mean to someone, so this is hard on me. Last Monday when I left him, I didn't hear from him until Thursday when I opened the communication to tell him I was coming over to get my stuff on Saturday. He never acted like this. Friday he sent me an e-mail asking if I could come over and help pack my things up. I said no, I had plans and I would be over on Saturday as I stated. OK, so if someone wants to be with you so bad, would they pack your things for you? That's what he did, when I got there most of everything was packed, I didn't have to do hardly anything. I didn't hear from him at all on Saturday (he was apparently at our State Fair all day, I think with his ex). Then Sunday the messages start with I miss you, I can't live with out you. Never once ddi he apologize for anything he has done or said to me. Why would I go back with him when a lot of the time he makes me feel like ****? I had to go over to our house on Monday to pay some bills and I told him I'm coming to pay bills and that's it. He was in tears, crying that he can't live without me, he thinks about me wherever he goes. When he comes home he misses having me there to talk to. I just feel that he wants me back because he is alone and it scares him. It scares me too to have to start over, but I really feel it's the best thing. Everyone I have talked to about this (friends, co-workers, family and strangers) all agree I need to move on.
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