Life seeming so redundant pointless..

[monkey00]

I've worked exactly a year at my job since graduating last year. The people I work with are great, I like my hours, and my job (for now). Every week seems to be a continuous cycle for me. I work all week long, meet up with a friend or 2 hang out, eat out, maybe get some beers. And my weekends are mostly wasted by sitting around the house or resting from a busy work week.

 

Before the real world, I had a lot of real goals/ambitions. I was always motivated and I was way ahead of my same aged friends and still am. But it appears like it's the end of the road for me...I've accomplished what I set out to accomplish, and my life is on a standstill. My roommate reminds me a lot of how I used to be, now I don't have it in me anymore..which is weird.

 

Anyone with advice?

[norajane]

"Welcome to the real world,

she said to me,

condescendingly..."

 

 

Yes, you're realizing that life is what you make it, and only what you make it, for yourself. Not having a specific goal can make you feel aimless, but that's precisely the opportunity for you to really open up your world to things you've always wanted to try. With your work life 'set' for now, you have the freedom to do anything you want and to experience and grow and be the person you want to be.

 

Set some new goals - something that excites you, rather than something you 'have' to do.

 

Do you want to travel the world? Then start planning where you want to go on your next vacation and how you're going to get there. You can make it happen if you want a well-traveled life.

 

Have you always wanted to scuba dive, become a triathlete, a mountain climber, kite sailing, tennis? Do you want to learn how to cook, to ski, to grow tomatoes? It's all in your hands and within your power - figure out what you want out of life and make it happen.

 

The truth is, you can drift indefinitely and become unsatisfied or bored with your life. But you can always add things to your life that you want - you just have to get off your ass and turn your life into what you want it to be.

[melodymatters]

"Welcome to the real world,

she said to me,

condescendingly..."

 

 

Yes, you're realizing that life is what you make it, and only what you make it, for yourself. Not having a specific goal can make you feel aimless, but that's precisely the opportunity for you to really open up your world to things you've always wanted to try. With your work life 'set' for now, you have the freedom to do anything you want and to experience and grow and be the person you want to be.

 

Set some new goals - something that excites you, rather than something you 'have' to do.

 

Do you want to travel the world? Then start planning where you want to go on your next vacation and how you're going to get there. You can make it happen if you want a well-traveled life.

 

Have you always wanted to scuba dive, become a triathlete, a mountain climber, kite sailing, tennis? Do you want to learn how to cook, to ski, to grow tomatoes? It's all in your hands and within your power - figure out what you want out of life and make it happen.

 

The truth is, you can drift indefinitely and become unsatisfied or bored with your life. But you can always add things to your life that you want - you just have to get off your ass and turn your life into what you want it to be.

 

 

GREAT post nora, I second that whole heartedly !

[monkey00]

Thanks nora, your post was pretty motivating.

 

There are still many things I want to do with my life actually..

 

1) be an entrepreneur someday

2) Buy a condo

3) Start a family

 

Obviously all of the above are all long-term goals, which have yet to manifest..

 

Some short-term goals I've been thinking of would include..learning how to swim, go camping/hiking, learning martial arts, guitar. I think what's making it hard for me is I don't have the motivation to get myself out there like I used to have. None of my friends are interested in any of those hobbies. My office hours are strange also, I get out late from work and usually am too exhausted to want to do anything.

 

I know it's also probably bad thinking..but I tell myself that if I had a gf, my life might not feel so pointless and would have something to look forward to when I'm not working...in a way to fill a void or my time.

[Green]

I have goals like getting laid, Making my investments pay off, Writing... although I'm always a puss about that one... I always wanted to write a book and a screenplay actualy 2 screenplays one book. And I'm working out at the gym I want to gain about 40 pounds of muscle in the next few months... but it took me like a year just gain 20 lbs so weel see. U need a goal, I need excitement thats why I do ****

[Generic Username]

learning how to .. guitar.

 

..

 

I know it's also probably bad thinking..but I tell myself that if I had a gf, my life might not feel so pointless.

 

That first thing might lead to the second thing

[Green]

I didn't even notice that he had no gf... please girls are so easy to get, and even if you don't get one if you go out get numbers u'll atleast be going out on dates and getting close though frustrating is also kind of fun.

[norajane]

Some short-term goals I've been thinking of would include..learning how to swim, go camping/hiking, learning martial arts, guitar. I think what's making it hard for me is I don't have the motivation to get myself out there like I used to have. None of my friends are interested in any of those hobbies. My office hours are strange also, I get out late from work and usually am too exhausted to want to do anything.

 

I know it's also probably bad thinking..but I tell myself that if I had a gf, my life might not feel so pointless and would have something to look forward to when I'm not working...in a way to fill a void or my time.

 

You can learn how to play guitar at home, for starters. Schedule a martial arts class on Saturdays or Sundays so it doesn't interfere with work. Same with swim class.

 

You will meet people in martial arts, swim, etc. They can become new friends, a wider social circle, and more girls to meet who actually have things in common with you...

[fral945]

Thanks nora, your post was pretty motivating.

 

There are still many things I want to do with my life actually..

 

1) be an entrepreneur someday

2) Buy a condo

3) Start a family

 

Obviously all of the above are all long-term goals, which have yet to manifest..

 

Some short-term goals I've been thinking of would include..learning how to swim, go camping/hiking, learning martial arts, guitar. I think what's making it hard for me is I don't have the motivation to get myself out there like I used to have. None of my friends are interested in any of those hobbies. My office hours are strange also, I get out late from work and usually am too exhausted to want to do anything.

 

I know it's also probably bad thinking..but I tell myself that if I had a gf, my life might not feel so pointless and would have something to look forward to when I'm not working...in a way to fill a void or my time.

 

I can relate. You've just got to prioritize. I don't know what your hours are but most people have more free time than they realize. Try going a week without turning on the TV or going on the internet. If you have enough time to post on here you could be using that time to be doing something else.

 

I play the guitar and have gotten pretty good. What I do is download tabs of my favorite songs and learn how to play them. If you can't read music then start there. I've pretty much mastered basic chords and riffs so most of the time now I'm working on solos. I create new challenges and try to learn something new each time, or at least practice or master a song I am working on.

 

The other good thing about the guitar is it is a chick magnet. You just have to learn a few sappy love songs to play (even if you might not really like them all that much). That way you'll have an excuse to invite a few women to your place. Kill two birds with one stone, learn the guitar and get a girlfriend.

[Rooster_DAR]

I was going through the same dilemma, so I bought a digital recording studio and a bunch of guitar and bass equipment and started writing and recording my own music. I tell you, it's awesome to have this hobby, of course it helps cause I have a long background in music.

 

It's easy to get stale even when you do have other interests though, I do many things on the weekend as well, but sometimes I come home during the workweek and realize I'm probably go to stay in this same pattern (working 40 hours a week) until I either die or lose my job which is a bit depressing.

 

I guess we just have to keep pushing new ideas and interests so we don't have the idle time to think too much. :laugh:

 

Good luck,

[monkey00]

I have a guitar actually lol..for almost a year. When I got it I was very motivated to learn, a month later I went on vacation when I came back the interest was zapped and has been collecting dust since. I think you guys make a good point.

 

Yeah..I do get out of work late. But if I didn't spend my time on the computer/tv afterwork I know I'd have a lot of time to myself and hobbies. I think I just need to set some of my priorities straight and rediscover old interests like the guitar.

 

Life is strange sometimes

[Tormented311]

Just because you've become more responsible, doesn't mean that you can't have fun. Try to find a cheap apartment, then work only part time, that way you'll have more time for yourself to go out. Gf's help too.

[cutegirl]

To be honest, I find life redundant as well, and I'm a lot luckier than you since I don't have to work a 9-5, I can get by with working only a few hours a day.... So I basically have 8+ hours a day to do with whatever I want and I also have pretty good money and able to do a lot of things with it and yet there is still nothing to do. I COULD travel, yes, but I don't really have anyone to travel with and I'm sure as hell not going alone.

 

I am not really interested in scuba diving etc.. I'm not interested in cooking (hate it), don't care about growing tomatoes (I barely have energy to go buy them let alone grow them), don't like mountain climbing, becoming a triathlete (really, no thanks)... I think the only thing I like to do is go shopping...

 

There are days when I get so bored I just drive around for hours aimlessly with no destination. I just like to drive and listen to music for hours and hours, there's just nothing else to do.

 

I don't want a family. I'm already 30 and know I don't want kids, I don't have a maternal bone in my body. I don't care for finding a man either. I just like being alone.

 

I have all the time in the world and enough disposable income to do whatever I feel like and there's still nothing to do. There are only so many days in a row you can lay out at the beach and shopping every day does get tiring and boring.

[Touche]

Cutegirl, you just said here that you like being alone but yet you'd never travel alone. Why?

 

I took a trip alone once when I was single and had the best time.

 

Try it some time.

[cutegirl]

Cutegirl, you just said here that you like being alone but yet you'd never travel alone. Why?

 

I took a trip alone once when I was single and had the best time.

 

Try it some time.

 

I don't know... I guess because it's "scary" and it would also make me feel like a loser. I do know there are a lot of people who travel alone but I still think that most people travel with others and that most people would think it's very odd and strange for someone to travel by themselves.

 

I think that most people think that it's unusual for someone to travel alone, it would look "suspicious". I read somewhere online once where someone said that a woman traveling by herself/walking alone by herself etc is most likely a hooker... lol I know they were probably semi-joking, but still....

 

I think the main reason is just because I would be self conscious. I do like being alone, but in my own home or locally but I don't know about going alone in a place that I'm not familiar with.

 

And I think a lot of people would wonder why a woman would be traveling alone, and wonder why I was alone... etc

[Touche]

You seem unusually concerned with what other people think.

 

I mean it never occurred to me that someone would think I was a hooker when I took my trip alone. I dressed well and ate at some very nice places.

 

Also, in the other thread you said you had a close friend. Why not travel with her then?

 

But really you should try it alone some time. You'd be surprised how empowering it is to realize you're your "own woman" and can come and go and do as you please.

[fral945]

cutegirl,

 

No wonder you are miserable. Your are very self conscious, have a lot of free time, and no mental or physical stimulation other than shopping and a part time job. That's a recipe for misery and depression. I can relate, I've had your problem as well. The biggest struggle is mental for those of us in societies where we have no physical danger to our life and live very comfortable lives with everything we need. My opinion is every healthy person needs a certain degree of mental and physical stimulation in their lives. It doesn't sound like you have much of either.

 

You've got to find a purpose (or purposes) in life. Some people find it through work, kids, hobbies, God, etc. It's doesn't have to last a lifetime and your purpose (or purposes) can change. People who raise kids devote most of their time to kids when they are young but may later devote more of their time to work or church or a hobby they couldn't pursue when raising children.

 

You don't necessarily have to find a job, but something to do. I'd go nutty if I only worked a few hours a day. I'd probably get a second job, lol. So you have no interests in books, music, outdoor activities, sports, art, etc.? I'd find that really hard to believe.

 

I agree with Touche, being so self conscious will make you miserable. Is your self consciousness preventing you from doing other things as well? I used to be more that way, but I decided one day not to care as much what others think of me anymore.

 

Almost every sentence in your post starts with "I think that most people think". Look at it this way: How can you possibly know what most people think? And even if you could, would it really matter? You can't control what others think of you that have never met you. And if you're traveling alone, why would you care what strangers that you will probably only pass by once in your life and never talk to other than simple pleasantries think of you?

[Trialbyfire]

monkey, this isn't something new with you. You spend a lot of time at work. You're either not being challenged enough or given sufficient incentive to motivate you to excel. The only problem is that you're the only person who can motivate yourself. If you're motivated, you'll create your own opportunities, whether it's with the company you work for now or with another company.

 

In situations of non-motivation, whether job or personal life, it's a catch 22 if you can't drive yourself to want to accomplish more. Strumming a guitar is not the way to kick start your motivation. It's got to be a passion.

[norajane]

I think the main reason is just because I would be self conscious. I do like being alone, but in my own home or locally but I don't know about going alone in a place that I'm not familiar with.

 

And I think a lot of people would wonder why a woman would be traveling alone, and wonder why I was alone... etc

 

You would probably be surprised to know how little people think about other people, how little they notice, and how little they care. No one would care if you were traveling alone or not, and a vast majority wouldn't even notice. I've traveled by myself a lot, both for business and pleasure, and nobody cares. Really. Actually, everyone is usually very nice.

 

If you like to shop, the world is full of amazing places to shop. Take that drive up PCH to San Francisco (PCH is the best for cranking the music and just driving!), stay at the W Hotel for a few days, do some shopping in Union Square, drive over the Golden Gate bridge to Sausalito for lunch and little more shopping. They have the best seafood up there, and anywhere that gets tourists they won't notice you are alone, nor will they care.

 

Then branch out and do the same in New York. Plan a trip for a few days, go shopping, and also go to the Met, Central Park, the top of the Empire State Building. Then try shopping and sight seeing in London, Paris, Milan.

 

Try it before you conclude you can't do it!

[monkey00]

On my travels, I've met countless people of both sexes who were traveling alone. Often they would make new friends with other travelers in that country...and often things have worked out quite well for them. By nature some of those people are loners too and prefer the solo an adventure on their own.

 

I've never associated anyone who travels alone with a negative connotation before, and I don't think there are even stereotypes about solo travelers to be honest.

 

monkey, this isn't something new with you. You spend a lot of time at work. You're either not being challenged enough or given sufficient incentive to motivate you to excel. The only problem is that you're the only person who can motivate yourself. If you're motivated, you'll create your own opportunities, whether it's with the company you work for now or with another company.

 

In situations of non-motivation, whether job or personal life, it's a catch 22 if you can't drive yourself to want to accomplish more. Strumming a guitar is not the way to kick start your motivation. It's got to be a passion.

 

At the end of the day I do realize it's up to me. I've never been one to revel in pessimism. I used to be a great optimist when I had a passion for life...down the line I've become a realist. What also plays a role on me is sometimes I have trouble sleeping at night which often leaves me feeling drained or exhausted...due to health reasons I've completely cut caffeine from my diet, which I wish I could have.

[cutegirl]

cutegirl,

 

You've got to find a purpose (or purposes) in life. Some people find it through work, kids, hobbies, God, etc. It's doesn't have to last a lifetime and your purpose (or purposes) can change. People who raise kids devote most of their time to kids when they are young but may later devote more of their time to work or church or a hobby they couldn't pursue when raising children.

 

You don't necessarily have to find a job, but something to do. I'd go nutty if I only worked a few hours a day. I'd probably get a second job, lol. So you have no interests in books, music, outdoor activities, sports, art, etc.? I'd find that really hard to believe.

 

 

 

 

I do not like children and I am not religious. I have a full time income btw. There is no point in me getting a job because I already have enough money, I am not going to get a job to kill time and work for peanuts. I do not work for anyone else, only for myself. No one will be the boss of me.

 

I have an interest in the entertainment business; acting perhaps or singing pop (britney spears type pop music) and dancing. Don't care for art or sports. I do enjoy exercising ... I work out to look fit and toned so I can look good in clothes but I don't enjoy competitive sports.

[cutegirl]

You would probably be surprised to know how little people think about other people, how little they notice, and how little they care. No one would care if you were traveling alone or not, and a vast majority wouldn't even notice. I've traveled by myself a lot, both for business and pleasure, and nobody cares. Really. Actually, everyone is usually very nice.

 

If you like to shop, the world is full of amazing places to shop. Take that drive up PCH to San Francisco (PCH is the best for cranking the music and just driving!), stay at the W Hotel for a few days, do some shopping in Union Square, drive over the Golden Gate bridge to Sausalito for lunch and little more shopping. They have the best seafood up there, and anywhere that gets tourists they won't notice you are alone, nor will they care.

 

Then branch out and do the same in New York. Plan a trip for a few days, go shopping, and also go to the Met, Central Park, the top of the Empire State Building. Then try shopping and sight seeing in London, Paris, Milan.

 

Try it before you conclude you can't do it!

 

By myself? Isn't that weird? I have a feeling its not normal. My friend told me its very weird and abnormal to travel by myself etc. She think its already abnormal that I live alone. (She's 31 and still living at home but planning to move out with roommates). She says its "abnormal" and "lonely" and "mental" to live completely alone. I just feel like it's not normal to travel alone.

 

I do like to drive but not THAT much, there's no way I can drive to San francisco, I would die.

[norajane]

By myself? Isn't that weird? I have a feeling its not normal. My friend told me its very weird and abnormal to travel by myself etc. She think its already abnormal that I live alone. (She's 31 and still living at home but planning to move out with roommates). She says its "abnormal" and "lonely" and "mental" to live completely alone. I just feel like it's not normal to travel alone.

 

I do like to drive but not THAT much, there's no way I can drive to San francisco, I would die.

 

It's perfectly normal. Lots of people do it. Your friend lives at home at 31. What is normal for HER is not necessarily the norm for other people. As a woman who can afford to travel in style, you should get yourself out there and see how much fun it is.

 

And you don't have to drive all the way up to San Francisco. You don't have to go very far at all to start. Spend a few days in Santa Barbara - they have wonderful wineries there, as well as restaurants on the pier where you can sit in the sun on the water and sip cool fruity beverages after you shop til you drop in the charming town. Stay in one of the nice hotels along the coast and pamper yourself in the spas and pool and beach. Maybe go up to Cambria and see Hearst Castle.

 

You live in a beautiful part of the country - go see some of it.

[cutegirl]

It's perfectly normal. Lots of people do it. Your friend lives at home at 31. What is normal for HER is not necessarily the norm for other people. As a woman who can afford to travel in style, you should get yourself out there and see how much fun it is.

 

And you don't have to drive all the way up to San Francisco. You don't have to go very far at all to start. Spend a few days in Santa Barbara - they have wonderful wineries there, as well as restaurants on the pier where you can sit in the sun on the water and sip cool fruity beverages after you shop til you drop in the charming town. Stay in one of the nice hotels along the coast and pamper yourself in the spas and pool and beach. Maybe go up to Cambria and see Hearst Castle.

 

You live in a beautiful part of the country - go see some of it.

 

I just looked on Mapquest, Santa Barbara is 2 hours 12 minutes Estimated Distance: 126.56 miles from my house! Pretty far!!

 

I get what you are saying tho about going around and seeing sights etc. It does sound fun, I should do it... but closer like, Laguna Beach or something...

 

When I meant I go "drive around a lot", I meant I drive to the beach which is

10-18 min away from my house depending on traffic and its inside streets and drive , I don't drive 120 miles... it just seems so far.

 

I guess I'm scaredy cat, I don't really feel comfortable venturing far from home unless I'm with someone. For example, when I was with my ex bf we used to explore around LA and drive around Hollywood (which is one of my favorite cities) and just sightsee etc but I don't even really feel comfortable doing that by myself. It just feels weird.

[norajane]

I just looked on Mapquest, Santa Barbara is 2 hours 12 minutes Estimated Distance: 126.56 miles from my house! Pretty far!!

 

I get what you are saying tho about going around and seeing sights etc. It does sound fun, I should do it... but closer like, Laguna Beach or something...

 

When I meant I go "drive around a lot", I meant I drive to the beach which is

10-18 min away from my house depending on traffic and its inside streets and drive , I don't drive 120 miles... it just seems so far.

 

That's just an excuse not to do it. That is NOT what you said earlier in this thread:

 

There are days when I get so bored I just drive around for hours aimlessly with no destination. I just like to drive and listen to music for hours and hours, there's just nothing else to do.

 

I guess I'm scaredy cat, I don't really feel comfortable venturing far from home unless I'm with someone. For example, when I was with my ex bf we used to explore around LA and drive around Hollywood (which is one of my favorite cities) and just sightsee etc but I don't even really feel comfortable doing that by myself. It just feels weird.

 

The more often you do it, the more natural it feels. You've never done it, so it seems weird, but if you actually tried it, you'd see how much fun it is.

 

I have all the time in the world and enough disposable income to do whatever I feel like and there's still nothing to do.

 

Oh, that's so not true. You have the entire world right outside your front door.

 

Why box yourself in when you can experience so much more?