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Hot and cold - do you think I got rejected?


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Posted

I never thought I would write on a forum like this but I have too much on my mind today. Hopefully you can help me straighten things out.

 

I met this pretty girl in class a couple weeks ago. At first sight, I was attracted to her and she gave me a really nice smile when I introduced myself. A bunch of us went to the campus bar after class and she sat next to me. We drink and drink and drink... At some point, she tells me she has a boyfriend but she's about to dump him. We had good eye contact and lots of casual touching.

 

Back in class, she keeps flirting with me, giving me a big smile. I know I should've waited a bit longer but I thought I'd ask her out anyway. She thanked me for the invitation but said she couldn't make it. Fair enough.

 

A couple days later, she dumps her boyfriend. Fast forward another couple days, and she mentions that she and another classmate are going to the campus bar again, and they wondered whether I wanted to join them. I went with them, had several drinks, and exchanged phone numbers.

 

Technically, did I already get rejected or should I ask her out again?

Posted

I'd ask her out again. If she turns you down a second time, it's time to move on.

Posted

You've kind of been out twice now ya know? You say "they" wondered if you would join them, "they" as in her or is someone else suggesting it first?

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Posted
You've kind of been out twice now ya know? You say "they" wondered if you would join them, "they" as in her or is someone else suggesting it first?

 

The first time around it was a group thing and the whole class was invited.

 

The second time she invited me personally - and it was just me, her and a girlfriend of hers.

Posted

Invite her to join you at a function of your choosing on a Friday or Saturday evening. Call it whatever you want (if "date" sounds too old-fashioned). If she accepts, that's an answer. If she waffles, that's an answer. If the latter, ask another girl :)

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Posted

Obviously I would hate to be turned down a second time. On our previous talk she asked me whether my parents would accept that I date a black girl (she's actually mulatto) and I said they are rather open minded. She also kind of mentioned twice that she was no longer with her ex. Part of me thinks these were signs to ask her out - but I'm ****ting my pants thinking I might get turned down twice by the same girl. And the fact that we are classmates doesn't help either.

 

Any insight would be appreciated.

 

Thx

Posted

A complete guess on my part but I think it's fairly logical. She turned you down the first time because she had a boyfriend!

Posted

give it another shot. In the past if a girl would mention to me that she's in the process of breaking up or just broke up with a guy. It's usually a green light to move in. In your case she seems to be reminding you a lot, so I'd say she really wants you to ask her out.

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Posted
A complete guess on my part but I think it's fairly logical. She turned you down the first time because she had a boyfriend!

 

Yeah that's what I figured as well!

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Posted
give it another shot. In the past if a girl would mention to me that she's in the process of breaking up or just broke up with a guy. It's usually a green light to move in. In your case she seems to be reminding you a lot, so I'd say she really wants you to ask her out.

 

Yes I tend to agree with you as well. I had an opportunity to ask her out on Thursday but before I could make a move, she said she "had to go". If she wants me to ask her out, she definitely isn't making things easy for me!

Posted

Hm, sounds like she might not be interested, but it's worth giving it a shot. If she comes up with some BS excuse, though, forget about her.

Posted

Sounds like a lot of mixed signals indeed.

 

Either she's just a tease, either she's confused about her past relationship (which would explain the hot and cold part).

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