vonerik012 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Some women rarely get approached in real life, so it is easier for them to offer sex online in exchange for a date. I don't know how many women I emailed in the past that would send me nudes, or start talking sexually with the hopes of getting a date. Or even more annoying were the ones that wanted to meet after one email. "Ok so where are we going to dinner?" Desperate.
Shygirl15 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 True. I don't see why someone should rush and meet people after an email or two. Desperation at its best.
vonerik012 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 It just comes across as bossy as well. Women have emailed me, I emailed back, and then they are like "Ok so Friday at 8, lets have dinner". No thanks.
Tomcat33 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Or even more annoying were the ones that wanted to meet after one email. "Ok so where are we going to dinner?" Desperate. Another Adonis attitude of those that need to hide behind MSN for weeks on end in order to spare women from falling madly inlove with them in person. :laugh: No time for trolls, sorry. That's not desperate it's SMART. Desperate is devoting weeks on end to someone online whom you've never met and for all you know could be a 50 yr biker dude in the closet. Take your time Von whatever floats your boat! I never did dinner on a first date as much as a guy would insist I never accepted that, I would never subject myself to dinner with a stranger I don't even know if I am going to click with. Coffee, chat and if we hit it off we go on a real date the second time around. You're just bitter because you don't have the same luxury as women. All an attractive woman has to do is put her pic up and a few lines to talk about herself and the emails flood in, while an average guy sees tumbleweed. A woman doesn't have time to waste with every tom dick and harry that wants to play MSN charm, she wants to go out there and get working on it. Online dating is significantly skewed in favour of women. Unless you are a cute guy with a great profile you don't stand a chance and you want to sleep on your Laurels and play email tag, sure plenty below average women will play along they have nothing better to do...
vonerik012 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 For me online dating is boring. It's not difficult at all to get dates for me. I just find the selection to be sub-par compared to real life. And yes, some women have emailed me, then within 5 minutes asked me where i can take them, or when we are meeting?? Talk about an attraction killer.. Meeting for coffee. lol
Tomcat33 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 For me online dating is boring. It's not difficult at all to get dates for me. I just find the selection to be sub-par compared to real life. And yes, some women have emailed me, then within 5 minutes asked me where i can take them, or when we are meeting?? Talk about an attraction killer.. Meeting for coffee. lol Brilliant!! Women who online date should actually thank them because they did the rest of the women a HUGE favour in shooing you away like a pesky fly. Less crap to have to sift through for when they log in to check their emails.
Vertex Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 For me online dating is boring. It's not difficult at all to get dates for me. I just find the selection to be sub-par compared to real life. And yes, some women have emailed me, then within 5 minutes asked me where i can take them, or when we are meeting?? Talk about an attraction killer.. Meeting for coffee. lol I just joined Chemistry.com and one of the matches for me basically did just this. What a buzzkill.
djhall Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I have very little dating experience, but wouldn't a lot of this have to do with the kind of site you were on and what you are looking for? If you are on on a site that caters toward finding casual dates or pure hook-ups, why not meet in person right away? After all, you're pretty much looking for chemistry and attraction in someone to hang out with for awhile, so why not get to it? On the other hand, if you are on eHarmony or looking for a potential mate without really being interested in dating as a social activity in itself, I would suspect you would want to spend a little more time comminicating with the person before deciding to meet in person. Whether that is two days or two months kinda depends more on the amount of communication you do during that period, doesn't it? I am curious though. For those of you who prefer a lot of communication prior to meeting, don't you often find that the person you ultimately meet is not at all like what you thought based on their written communication and telephone calls? I think we "fill in a lot of blanks" about a person in ways that are frequently inaccurate when we finally ee them in person.
Tomcat33 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I just joined Chemistry.com and one of the matches for me basically did just this. What a buzzkill. Chemistry.com? Sorry that name is pretty cheesy let's hope the service is better than the name... No kidding that WOULD be a buzzkill 100%. Personally I have never asked a man out or contacted a man first online, they came to me. They chase I put out the signs. Secondly the conversation was flowing and it happened once in a while where there was this good connection happening back and forth, if the interest was ther on both parts and I am very good at being subttle but flirty, they would either ask to meet or they would want to continue the conversation on MSN or some other nonsense like that. If they wanted MSN "sorry I don't use MSN" So they had to resort to the next possible way of keeping my attention and that is "we should meet". Terrific, I think so too. BANG done. If after a few times of emails back and forth and a seemingly good connection was happening and he was not asking to meet I was moving on. No time to sit around and play "guess what's behind the computer" But I would agree a woman, who in the first email says "hi where will you take me" or even a guy that does that in the first 5 mins IS lame.
Tomcat33 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Those are all good questions: I have very little dating experience, but wouldn't a lot of this have to do with the kind of site you were on and what you are looking for? If you are on on a site that caters toward finding casual dates or pure hook-ups, why not meet in person right away? Because not all women men meet in casual places are looking to get laid, online you can pick what you want and post what you want so it becomes alot "easier" to target your "needs". But they have special sites for that kind of crap. They have sites for people who strictly want suggar daddys and suggar mommas. There is a supply and demand for all kinds of crap in the online world. After all, you're pretty much looking for chemistry and attraction in someone to hang out with for awhile, so why not get to it? On the other hand, if you are on eHarmony or looking for a potential mate without really being interested in dating as a social activity in itself, I would suspect you would want to spend a little more time comminicating with the person before deciding to meet in person. Whether that is two days or two months kinda depends more on the amount of communication you do during that period, doesn't it? Yes that makes sense but on the same token you can become really attached to someone online and for me personally there was no worse feeling (and I learned this by trial and error) than after spending all this time back forth connecting via emails, to have to tell a guy "sorry but this isn't happening for me in person" when you finally meet. I could handle rejection much more than having to do the rejecting. And some guys just don't take no for an answer. It becomes this tiresome task of having to undo what you did in some cyber environment that was based on imagination and NOT fact. I am curious though. For those of you who prefer a lot of communication prior to meeting, don't you often find that the person you ultimately meet is not at all like what you thought based on their written communication and telephone calls? I think we "fill in a lot of blanks" about a person in ways that are frequently inaccurate when we finally ee them in person. BINGO!
Bells Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 No, it's not religion it's culture. I can't change my cultural background and beliefs I have stood by for 30yrs of my life now, can I? Actually, I have done some research. There's no culture out there that does not allow you to talk to people you don't know. So, I think she's making it up.
Tomcat33 Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Actually, I have done some research. There's no culture out there that does not allow you to talk to people you don't know. So, I think she's making it up. Of course she is!! I was also going to say she has no problem talking to strangers and people she doesn't know here isn't THAt against her culture? PUUUUUUHHHHLEASE!
Rooster_DAR Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Online dating is lame IMO. I can't stand E-Harmony, I don't like their lame commercials and email spam they use for marketing. The few people I know that tried these dating sites were meeting women who were superficial and were just looking for someone with money, or the other extreme where they were very poorly educated or self informed. I still pulling for the grocery store, given some time it might be a good place to bump into somebody. Cheers!
Shygirl15 Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Of course she is!! I was also going to say she has no problem talking to strangers and people she doesn't know here isn't THAt against her culture? PUUUUUUHHHHLEASE! Tomcat and Bells, I don't have to prove anything to you. I don't know you, you don't know me, so why make up things for a bunch of strangers I meet online, huh? Doesn't make sense to me. You claim you have done your research online. Well and good. Newsflash: I have lived through it. I don't make up things just for fun. Out of topic, but let me take this opportunity to tell you a thing or two about the culture I was raised in: 1. A woman is not expected to initiate conversation with a strange man, otherwise she's regarded as a prostitute 2. Women do not date or marry men younger than themselves, otherwise they will be the laughing stock of the whole community Which is why I am the way I am today. Please, save some money, travel outside your country and see how other people live, then come back here and make an argument on your case. As of now, you have nothing to base your arguments on, apart from googling. I have done some research my black butt. Sheesh!
Shygirl15 Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Actually, I have done some research. There's no culture out there that does not allow you to talk to people you don't know. So, I think she's making it up. Bells, I always agree with you but this time you sound so stupid, sorry. Can you clarify what research you have done on this? Put some links for all to see, just like everybody else does. Sheesh.
Krytie TV Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Most Dating Services use the same trick - offer memberships to women for free or significantly reduced rates, and make their profits off of the men by charging them twice as much. Then, IF the guy finds someone interesting and gets her to meet him for that first date, the responsibility falls on him to make the reservations, pay for dinner and entertainment, etc. The problem here is that the woman has so little invested in the process that the worst she can expect is a free dinner, and afterwards (if she is unusually thoughtful), she'll send the guy an e-mail saying "Sorry, but I didn't feel the *magic*. Have a nice life". Then, she checks her listing for the next free meal ticket, while the guy skips lunch for a week so he can afford another dinner in another impressively overpriced restaurant for another shot-in-the-dark chance at happiness. I think this is a very good point that can't be overlooked. It really does seem, as a man, that the culture actually fosters female serial daters. Of course, I can't speak on what the guys are like, but there is this huge sense of uninvestment on the part of women because it is such less of a financial investment for them than the men (unless you wisen up quick as a man and consider Starbucks or a walk on the riverfront as the most you'll chip in for). It ultimately skews judgment to a completely unrealistic level because people stop becoming people and start becoming only profiles. As that happens, people now become easily disposable data and decisions are made on what at the time seems logical, but in reality is some completely superficial or ridiculous perception of some random, meaningless detail that would NEVER arise in real life.
Krytie TV Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Actually, I have done some research. There's no culture out there that does not allow you to talk to people you don't know. So, I think she's making it up. I'm concerned about your strange obsession/fixation with Shygirl. Maybe you should accept others as what they are and move on with important facets of life?
Tomcat33 Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 I think this is a very good point that can't be overlooked. It really does seem, as a man, that the culture actually fosters female serial daters. Of course, I can't speak on what the guys are like, but there is this huge sense of uninvestment on the part of women because it is such less of a financial investment for them than the men (unless you wisen up quick as a man and consider Starbucks or a walk on the riverfront as the most you'll chip in for). It ultimately skews judgment to a completely unrealistic level because people stop becoming people and start becoming only profiles. As that happens, people now become easily disposable data and decisions are made on what at the time seems logical, but in reality is some completely superficial or ridiculous perception of some random, meaningless detail that would NEVER arise in real life. I think you are absolutely right! Online dating does harbour a lot more serial daters when it comes to females. But being female I can attribute this to the fact that men seem to have a lot more "cojones" online than they do in person. I mean I can go to NY city to visit a friend for a weekend and I can meet three men in one day NO problem, you exchange glances you do the flirty smile thing and BAM the guy is talking to you no problem. Here it's like you have to send out smoke singnals, every one of my boyfriends except one (which I met ionline) was self admittedly afraid to apprach me want really wanted to. Tey claim they thought I would reject them etc, yet I can go to South America or Europe and men are completely forward no matter what shape size or form they are totally self confident in this respect. Heck even on Facebook I've had guys I used to work with or hang out with in the same circles that are admitting now "I had the hots for you" well dUHHHH why didn't you say so? What is with the timidness of Canadian guys, yet you go online and they are super forward and have no problem. Online works against men because they are competing against other men to get the attention of the same types of women. If you had the guts to approach these same women in person then you wouldn't have to compete against other men online. AND every time I have been "picked up" on the street or the bus or where have you, guess what, he was a foreigner new to the country.
djhall Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Heck even on Facebook I've had guys I used to work with or hang out with in the same circles that are admitting now "I had the hots for you" well dUHHHH why didn't you say so? Why didn't they say so? Because you weren't interested in them. Oh, you were? Well dUHHHHH... why didn't you say so?
Tomcat33 Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Why didn't they say so? Because you weren't interested in them. Oh, you were? Well dUHHHHH... why didn't you say so? Because I don't chase men. I never have and I am certainly not going to start now no matter what goes on in the world around me.
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