flc Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Yeah, well, it works for me. Needs to make sure I'm dealing with the right person, as I don't want to waste my time going on numerous dates with people I know nothing about. I mean, after 3 emails you wouldn't really know much about them, right? I get totally turned off if someone asks to see me after 3 emails. Totally. All I can offer after 3 emails is a telephone number. Well you have to do what you are comfortable with but how many guys you meet online stick around this long and how many find someone else while still corresponding with you? As for the 'shopping' metaphor it is appropriate I know the first time I went online my thinking was 'this is just like when I bought my last house' My job is in software and medical database systems, so this does appeal to me on my technical geeky side. I can build a query just to see exactly what I want and then go from there. We will see if I tire of it, hopefully find someone that will last more than a couple of months.
Bells Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 There are different people on here, Bells. I was raised in a different culture. I do not speak with strangers out of blue. A stranger is a friend you haven't met yet.
Shygirl15 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Well you have to do what you are comfortable with but how many guys you meet online stick around this long and how many find someone else while still corresponding with you? Plenty happen to run at my pace, Flc.
flc Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Plenty happen to run at my pace, Flc. I am glad to hear that
Shygirl15 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Well, boys and girls, it's what works for you that matters. If RL works for you, go for it. If meeting online people after 2 emails works for you, excellent. My way doesn't necessarily have to be better than your way, and vice versa.
rod_in_gtown Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Well, boys and girls, it's what works for you that matters. If RL works for you, go for it. If meeting online people after 2 emails works for you, excellent. My way doesn't necessarily have to be better than your way, and vice versa. I'm curious as to what your background is, you mentioned before that you were raised in a different culture. where did you grow up?
Shygirl15 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I'm curious as to what your background is, you mentioned before that you were raised in a different culture. where did you grow up? lol..I conveniently avoided that question. Might create conflict with what I said on a different thread today
Lishy Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Shygirl you talk about your religion and culture not allowing you to talk to strangers or have anal sex but you do both! WHy not consider changing religions?
Shygirl15 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Shygirl you talk about your religion and culture not allowing you to talk to strangers or have anal sex but you do both! WHy not consider changing religions? No, it's not religion it's culture. I can't change my cultural background and beliefs I have stood by for 30yrs of my life now, can I?
Lishy Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 No, it's not religion it's culture. I can't change my cultural background and beliefs I have stood by for 30yrs of my life now, can I? But you are not following your beliefs so they are not really beliefs It is like me saying I am on a diet and eating loads of cream cakes!
Shygirl15 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 But you are not following your beliefs so they are not really beliefs It is like me saying I am on a diet and eating loads of cream cakes! Well, I'm following a large chunk of it. My culture is not against just anal sex and talking to strangers only.
rod_in_gtown Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 lol..I conveniently avoided that question. Might create conflict with what I said on a different thread today Ha! sorry, didn't mean to put you on the spot, only personal curiosity
Shygirl15 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Ha! sorry, didn't mean to put you on the spot, only personal curiosity I know you didn't, no worries!
gummybear Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Don't get me wrong, I'm interested in personality / intelligence as well, but online dating aside from the messages you have to take their profile for 'face value'. If it says never grad HS, they generally can't hold up a conversation, and those that could, had no personality or sense of fun. Demographic of my area? Los Angeles, 3-4 mil people...... I used to live in nor cal where I had alot of success with online dating..met some really great guys. Now I moved here to LA as well and basically yes it does suck here.
Tomcat33 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I think you are a true exception here, in that you will allow chemistry to develop prior to meeting. I have done the same thing and used to allow emails to go a month or so before meeting. The thing I personally experienced, was that everyone that went a while before meeting was a disaster. I had one that did that, never would hardly talk but was online daily to chat and email. We built a ton of chemistry up and when we met, yes, it was anti-climatic. However, I quickly learned that she was married. I had another kind of do the same thing. Great emails, alot of laughter and chemistry, then finally went out. She was a completely different person, hardly said a word, I was scrambling and she finally faked an illness. Sorry, but I just become too suspicious if we haven't gotten to a point of a very casual and public meeting in a couple of weeks. Yeah because you know what kind of people do that? The ones that have something to hide OR know that when they meet you in person you are going to be disapointed by something they hid or disguised. Whenever I did ID I used to have one two contact emails, exchange pics and off we went to meet. If the guy didn't want to meet right away he would lose me and I would block him from further contact. Not there to debate why he can't meet I really could give a flying feck why, you can't meet? BUHH BYE! None of this MSN crap of back and forth and emailing for weeks. For what? Sure you can get along with anyone online, plus if you are a good narator and creative you can appeal to anyone you want online. Not looking for writing buddies or pen pals so go waste someone else's time. If you have nothing to hide meet right away, and let the chemistry happen as it should not hide behind a computer screen, that's retarded!
lovestruck818 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Yeah because you know what kind of people do that? The ones that have something to hide OR know that when they meet you in person you are going to be disapointed by something they hid or disguised. Whenever I did ID I used to have one two contact emails, exchange pics and off we went to meet. If the guy didn't want to meet right away he would lose me and I would block him from further contact. Not there to debate why he can't meet I really could give a flying feck why, you can't meet? BUHH BYE! None of this MSN crap of back and forth and emailing for weeks. For what? Sure you can get along with anyone online, plus if you are a good narator and creative you can appeal to anyone you want online. Not looking for writing buddies or pen pals so go waste someone else's time. If you have nothing to hide meet right away, and let the chemistry happen as it should not hide behind a computer screen, that's retarded! It is also very easy to disguise a criminal record online.
Shygirl15 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Yeah because you know what kind of people do that? The ones that have something to hide OR know that when they meet you in person you are going to be disapointed by something they hid or disguised. That's a very generalized statement, TC. Though different than mine, I still value your opinion. However do not generalize situations, please.
Tomcat33 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 That's a very generalized statement, TC. Though different than mine, I still value your opinion. However do not generalize situations, please. Of course it is a generalized view point. Some people have time to waste getting to know a complete stranger they have never met face to face online, some people don't. I am one of the people who don't and because of that I don't care why someone needs a month of email back and forth of getting to know me, I am not sticking around to find out. A person who is serious about meeting another human being is not going to drag on the mystery online for months on end. They are either not serious about wanting to meet someone and are killing time online, or they have something to hide. What other reason could there be?
Tomcat33 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 It is also very easy to disguise a criminal record online. Well that's just as easy in person, not sure that is exclusive to online dating!?!
lovestruck818 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Well that's just as easy in person, not sure that is exclusive to online dating!?! Well, no it's not exclusive to online dating, but it's so much easier to just put up someone else's picture to disguise the fact that you really are someone with a criminal record. Now, I suppose this is an extreme case, but say you are a criminal and your face is hung up on wanted posters all over town...it would be incredibly easy to come on the internet looking for 'dates" or "victims" and pretending to be someone else.
shockandawed Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Well, no it's not exclusive to online dating, but it's so much easier to just put up someone else's picture to disguise the fact that you really are someone with a criminal record. Now, I suppose this is an extreme case, but say you are a criminal and your face is hung up on wanted posters all over town...it would be incredibly easy to come on the internet looking for 'dates" or "victims" and pretending to be someone else. Ok Lovestruck, Now this is getting paranoid, especially considering you have never done online dating. I seriously doubt someone who is wanted on posters is sitting around, creating and paying for online dating websites, and then engaging in multiple emails and conversations. I live in a metro area of approximately 500,000. Although it is sizeable, I have found it fairly easy to find a common aquaintence or at least a shared activity place. I ask alot of questions early, if someone was completely bs ing their profile, I would pick up on it. I only meet women in a public place the first time. If we decide to go further, I can assure you all of them know ways to verify my existence, the soccer league I coach in, the type of business accounts I sell to, what church I attend, etc..
Tomcat33 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I seriously doubt someone who is wanted on posters is sitting around, creating and paying for online dating websites, and then engaging in multiple emails and conversations. :laugh: Seriously! I think you have a higher chance encounering a rapist, murderer, robber, clepto, thief on the street than you do an a dating site!
lovestruck818 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Ok Lovestruck, Now this is getting paranoid, especially considering you have never done online dating. I seriously doubt someone who is wanted on posters is sitting around, creating and paying for online dating websites, and then engaging in multiple emails and conversations. Don't be sure- it would be very easy to fool just about anyone. My friend got raped from someone she met online. Yes, you can get raped by someone you meet in person too, but in the initial meeting in person it xan be easier to tell if they seem a little "off" or not and then just walk away without telling them information. Who knows what the e-mails you are exchanging with these people are saying? Once you have divulged things, you can't exactly take it back- it's a little bit harder to "walk" away from.
CaliGuy Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Don't be sure- it would be very easy to fool just about anyone. My friend got raped from someone she met online. Yes, you can get raped by someone you meet in person too, but in the initial meeting in person it xan be easier to tell if they seem a little "off" or not and then just walk away without telling them information. Who knows what the e-mails you are exchanging with these people are saying? Once you have divulged things, you can't exactly take it back- it's a little bit harder to "walk" away from. You can get raped in any situation. The trick is to make sure you meet in a safe, public place and don't go anywhere where you might be out of public sight. Plenty of people are going to bars, getting drunk and basically getting date raped. It's stupid and I have never understood why people do it, but they do. I always agree on the first date to meet in a public place, during the day. Preferably a coffee shop. (Coz I don't want to get raped either, haha -- ok that wasn't funny!) My point is, you should use caution regardless of the medium you are using to meet people.
Tomcat33 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 My point is, you should use caution regardless of the medium you are using to meet people. Exactly, intelligence and precaution should trump most dangers of course no one is 100% excempt from danger but you can sure as heck try to avoid it. I remember a few threads that were started on here even of women that met men at bars and were gaving a great time with them at a bar and they met with mutual friends etc. and then once back to one another's apartment at the end of the night these very same men took a turn for the absolute worst, becoming practically rapists and monsters. So precaution must be had no matter where you meet someone.
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