online dating is useless

[Legend]

So I caved and tried it for a week.

 

It's riddled with over weight - poorly educated women, people with low self confidence. I could go on and on.

 

What does anyone see in the online dating scene? I'd love to know. I tried 3 sites in a week, match, E, and okcupid.

 

If the girl wasn't "in school" they were too "Spiritual" and dedicated to god.

 

if they weren't making $10,000-20k /yr they were "living at home"

 

Where the hell do people go to meet others in their own pay / educational grade?

 

*end rant*

[jadedone]

Education does not equal intelligence.

 

 

Personally, I have had a lot of success with online dating sites. Maybe it's the demographics of your local area.

 

I'm more interested in personality, intelligence, and physical attraction than income and education.

 

It can seem futile at times, but there are some genuine keepers out there.

[Legend]

Don't get me wrong, I'm interested in personality / intelligence as well, but online dating aside from the messages you have to take their profile for 'face value'. If it says never grad HS, they generally can't hold up a conversation, and those that could, had no personality or sense of fun. Demographic of my area? Los Angeles, 3-4 mil people......

[Mako482]

I've met nothing but superficial and dishonest people personally.

[Bells]

I found it to be a waste of time as well, most women want some drop dead gorgeous hunk of a man, when they aren't much to look at themselves. Stringent 6 foot ht. requirement.

 

Some are people who you correspond with emails back and forth, then you ge tthe courage to ask for their number to talk to them, they say, "I'm sorry, I'm not ready yet."

 

"Oh, when will you be ready?"

 

Her: "I don't know"

 

You cave, decide you won't be pushy, and continue being a pen-pal sucker for this person, who has no real intention to meet you over a cup of coffee or lunch. You wind up wasting a month on this person.

 

Some are people who are on the "outs" with their sig. other, so...temporarily they open up a account breifly and toy with people who have legit ads.

[flc]

I think like anything else you have to be patient. I met two women online that I had decent relationships with, I liked both of them. Neither turned out to be the LTR I am looking for but you keep looking. I think these days finding a meaningful relationship anywhere is hard. Look at this message board there are a lot of people who seem very nice and are not having much success regardless of how they are meeting partners.

[Shygirl15]

The cheap/free ones have lousy people, of course.

[monkey00]

The cheap/free ones have lousy people, of course.

 

I digress, I've tried paid and unpaid for ones. Both have lousy people. Some of them are extremely picky that they've never been on a date with someone yet through that dating site.

[Lizzie60]

I have to agree.. lately I've been visiting a few sites.. and gosh... the losers...

 

education might not be the only thing.. but if the guy says that he's a cleaner for a building.. then... sorrrrry.. not for me.

 

Education, jobs, where they live, what they drive.. if they can write a few sentences without too many mistakes..

 

sometimes they seem OK.. physically, and jobwise.. only to find out they are sooooo narrow minded.. so 'dumb'..

 

You have to be on there a lot to find one in a few hundreds that seems OK.. it's very tiring.

[Mako482]

The cheap/free ones have lousy people, of course.

 

I'm talking eharmony here, never dated so many dishonest women in my life. If you aren't interested in a guy just freaking tell him, don't act as if you would have my children one day then fall off the face of the earth the second.

[Mako482]

I have to agree.. lately I've been visiting a few sites.. and gosh... the losers...

 

education might not be the only thing.. but if the guy says that he's a cleaner for a building.. then... sorrrrry.. not for me.

 

Education, jobs, where they live, what they drive.. if they can write a few sentences without too many mistakes..

 

sometimes they seem OK.. physically, and jobwise.. only to find out they are sooooo narrow minded.. so 'dumb'..

 

You have to be on there a lot to find one in a few hundreds that seems OK.. it's very tiring.

 

For some reason I'm not surprised you are having problems. Wow.

[Legend]

See, that's exactly what i'm talking about. I'm glad others feel the same way. It just seems that the entire online dating scene is for the people too scared to go out and do it in real life. I thought I'd give it a "lazy man's" chance and see if any came to me, which of course.

 

You get your winks, woos, whatever you want to call them, but I'd say equally from as many girls as guys, which was weird since I specified straight.

 

In any case, it's just annoying to type up real profiles and answer questions when barely the rest of the members take it seriously.

 

oh well, back to nice restaurant bars for me...

[sunshinegirl]

If you go into the online world expecting 90-95% of them to be losers, flakes, liars, jerks, or otherwise inappropriate dating prospects, you can weed through that crowd to find the good ones.

 

That's been my experience. I filter out 80% of the guys who contact me, leaving me with a small, but good, subset of people to meet in person.

 

And I have met some genuinely good guys online.

[pandagirl]

I think online dating is good for people who want to meet new people and date. Not everyone you meet is going to end up as your boyfriend or girlfriend.

 

I think you also have to go into online dating with a completely open mind. I've been on three online dates. One guy sucked, one guy I really liked and dated, and one guy was perfectly cool and nice, just no chemistry.

[lovestruck818]

I have never actually used an online dating site for dating...just browsed around at some of the people, never out up a profile or anything. Most people were fat and/or ugly- I was not a fan.

[lovestruck818]

So I caved and tried it for a week.

 

It's riddled with over weight - poorly educated women, people with low self confidence. I could go on and on.

 

What does anyone see in the online dating scene? I'd love to know. I tried 3 sites in a week, match, E, and okcupid.

 

If the girl wasn't "in school" they were too "Spiritual" and dedicated to god.

 

if they weren't making $10,000-20k /yr they were "living at home"

 

Where the hell do people go to meet others in their own pay / educational grade?

 

*end rant*

 

they def. have low self-confidence, otherwise they wouldn't need the internet to date.

[sunshinegirl]

they def. have low self-confidence, otherwise they wouldn't need the internet to date.

 

[Star Gazer]

 

No kidding.

[Lizzie60]

Some guys are sooo stupid.. I checked a cougar's site.. (curiosity).. and a lot of guys are over 45 (grey hair) some even look in their 50s and they're looking for a cougar...

 

Gosh.. what's wrong with them... do they want to date a 75 yr old lady.. ... unless they have no clue what a cougar is.. dumb di di dumb..

[CaliGuy]

I'm having a BLAST, going out on lots of dates and learning to relax and just have fun. Met some very interesting, intelligent and beautiful women. I'm really impressed that there are a lot of single women with no kids (not that it is bad, it's just no my cup of tea) so that's good. I was thinking there'd be no one under 40 interested in me.

 

As it turns out, a good majority are between 28-34. I'm also getting very good at finding and heeding the red flags. Also, because my cup is full, I'm not banking on just one person. There's literally a basket full of women out there so I get to choose.

 

It's FUN!

 

For those having no luck, try getting a respectable picture of you on your profile and write something interesting and intelligent about you -- what makes you different. Also, if you're going to write someone, at least read their profile first.

[Shygirl15]

I'm talking eharmony here, never dated so many dishonest women in my life. If you aren't interested in a guy just freaking tell him, don't act as if you would have my children one day then fall off the face of the earth the second.

 

Ah. I must have been pretty lucky then. Met lots of wonderful guys on Match. I tried one of the free ones out of curiousity and wow! Fat, ugly, bitter women and men all over.

[Star Gazer]

I'm having a BLAST, going out on lots of dates and learning to relax and just have fun. Met some very interesting, intelligent and beautiful women. I'm really impressed that there are a lot of single women with no kids (not that it is bad, it's just no my cup of tea) so that's good. I was thinking there'd be no one under 40 interested in me.

 

As it turns out, a good majority are between 28-34. I'm also getting very good at finding and heeding the red flags. Also, because my cup is full, I'm not banking on just one person. There's literally a basket full of women out there so I get to choose.

 

It's FUN!

 

I totally agree! It's fun, and you're not banking on one person. I have yet to meet a freak, just tons of cool people.

[CaliGuy]

I found it to be a waste of time as well, most women want some drop dead gorgeous hunk of a man, when they aren't much to look at themselves. Stringent 6 foot ht. requirement.

 

Surprisingly, I've found the way I carry myself trumps my height (5'10"). Women are less likley to care if you are confident, laid back and fun.

 

Some are people who you correspond with emails back and forth, then you ge tthe courage to ask for their number to talk to them, they say, "I'm sorry, I'm not ready yet."

 

I don't wait around to build up "courage" I just say "Hey, let's go grab some coffee or are you the type that prefers to talk on the phone first. The last 3 times I've done that, all three have said "Sure, let's go!"

 

If you show even the modest hesitation that would hint at insecurity, women can smell it from a mile away.

 

You cave, decide you won't be pushy, and continue being a pen-pal sucker for this person, who has no real intention to meet you over a cup of coffee or lunch. You wind up wasting a month on this person.

 

That, or you are wasting your time on someone who is clearly not interested yet you're not taking the hint. There's a ton of women available, why are you bothering with the ones who aren't reciprocating? Waste of time.

 

Some are people who are on the "outs" with their sig. other, so...temporarily they open up a account breifly and toy with people who have legit ads.

 

I imagine this makes up less than 1% of the people using online dating. Learn to ask the right questions and you'll find that out.

 

Look, I don't have a problem with online dating. It's working extremely well for me. But I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am not wishy-washy, I am confident in who I am and I don't chase the fish that can't be caught.

 

And I am telling ya, have a sense of humor when you write and be laid back. Don't talk about things that you know will turn a woman off "Exs, politics, religion", etc. Don't suggest the same boring things over and over (dinner or movie). I had a woman ask me to go bowling. I was like "Heck ya, that sounds like fun!"

 

See what I mean? If you can't differentiate yourself from other men, you'll be lumped into that big 'ol reject pile. If you want to be attractive to the opposite sex, you gotta love who you are, be confident in who you are, have a sense of humor and be laid back -- willing to let the chips fall where they may.

 

Cheers.

[Shygirl15]

Sufound the way I carry myself trumps my height (5'10"). Women are less likley to carerprisingly, I've if you are confident, laid back and fun.

 

Yeah, some women..

[CaliGuy]

Yeah, some women..

 

I'm not the least bit concerned with those who do care