Ok, It's official. I'm too short so I've been dumped. [UPDATE 9 Years Later...]

[Tomcat33]

can you imagine the threads that'll result from that!?

 

 

Yes and no they might just cancel each other out.

[underpants]

The issue might not be height so much as her going through a divorce and not taking any romantic relationship too seriously at the moment.

 

The height thing may have been a lame reason to break it off before things got too serious.

 

I wouldn't worry about it so much. Some women have to have a taller partner and some don't consider it an issue. Some look past it when other variables present themselves. Like guys and boob preference I guess.

 

My feeling is that she is too freshly divorced and that you should just back away and let her deal with the end of her marriage. Recently divorced people are a gamble. IMHO.

[Tomcat33]

Well, I could never date a guy shorter than me BUT I would not put myself in a position to start dating him and then end it and tell him it is because he is too short! That is just damned rude!!

 

 

 

Exactly that's what makes this woman not only appear insecure but also unstable. Not the fact she prefers men that she can wear heels with, you like what you like, but then why date a guy the same height if you know this hang up going in?

She was definitely trying him on for size (in every sense of the word) and she realised it's not a good fit. Someone said something about the height thing being a red herring, I agree.

[Tomcat33]

The issue might not be height so much as her going through a divorce and not taking any romantic relationship too seriously at the moment.

 

 

 

Well then why not just say that? Why not say it's too soon to date after the divorce and I can't commit to anyone right now I am not in the right frame of mind to get serious now? Why pick something as stupid and as hurtful towards Rod, like the height? Why make it about him and not her?

 

No way it's not the divorce and I'll tell you why, they are good friends or were before they started dating so if it was the divorce thing and she lies about that she shoots her chances at dating other men, since Rod and her are friends he will know if she dates other men. I really don't think that't it, it's something else and the height thing was a sure bet to get out of jail free since as someone said he can't do anything about it.

[Shygirl15]

Well, I could never date a guy shorter than me BUT I would not put myself in a position to start dating him and then end it and tell him it is because he is too short! That is just damned rude!!

 

Very rude, however Rod himself asked her to be honest with him, so...

[Tomcat33]

 

Very rude, however Rod himself asked her to be honest with him, so...

 

Are you always honest with guys that tell you to be honest with them? And please don't say yes because you couldn't even bring yourself to say "no" to a date with a guy you can't stand.

 

Women make up excuses to spare guys of pain all the time, and vice versa I have a feeling it is no different here. Dispite Rod asking her for the "truth" I don't think she was truthful unless of course she really thought she could get over the height thing but collectively she didn't see enough potential in him to get over the height thing alone. That's the only thing that would make sense in terms of why she agreed to yes and then said no.

[Shygirl15]

Are you always honest with guys that tell you to be honest with them? And please don't say yes because you couldn't even bring yourself to say "no" to a date with a guy you can't stand.

 

 

Well, I'm careful not to hurt other people's feelings, but looks like she prefers honesty no matter what.

[rod_in_gtown]

Very rude, however Rod himself asked her to be honest with him, so...

 

I did ask, and I was hoping for it. I don't hate her for the reason, I hope it's the real reason and not just a safe get-out-of-jail answer, if that was the case then I would lose all the respect (I do respect her) that I have for her.

 

Truth is, the way she put it, it wasn't the only reason she gave me, but it was the only concrete one.

[LionLover]

She said that we're the same height, we're both 5'11 and she likes to wear heels and she feels strange with me being shorter when she's heeled and she knows that it's shallow but she's not ready to be in a serious relationship where that wouldn't be an issue.

 

How does a woman decide to dump someone after dating him for several months sighting his “height” as the main reason?

 

I call BS. Actually, I call BS on this whole thread.

[Trialbyfire]

Truth is, the way she put it, it wasn't the only reason she gave me, but it was the only concrete one.

Whoah rod, it's the only concrete as in simple reason. People don't always see in black and white. When they're emotionally torn by indecision or confused, you'll get some muddy waters.

[Tomcat33]

 

 

Well, I'm careful not to hurt other people's feelings, but looks like she prefers honesty no matter what.

 

As I predicted, she was not being completely honest so no I doubt she "prefers" honesty. She prefers telling things that look like honesty, very different thing.

 

 

 

I did ask, and I was hoping for it. I don't hate her for the reason, I hope it's the real reason and not just a safe get-out-of-jail answer, if that was the case then I would lose all the respect (I do respect her) that I have for her.

 

Truth is, the way she put it, it wasn't the only reason she gave me, but it was the only concrete one.

 

And there you have it there WAS more than the height thing amongst other things she prob doesn't want to disclose for the very same reason most people are not brutally honest when telling someone they no longer want to see them, to save face.

[rod_in_gtown]

the very same reason most people are not brutally honest when telling someone they no longer want to see them, to save face.

 

I still prefer brutal honesty, when someone lies to spare my feelings it makes me feel antagonized. Like somehow I'm so sheltered that I can't handle the truth. When I ask for honesty, I expect nothing less. Even if it's brutal. I feel better when I know where I stand.

[rod_in_gtown]

You should get together with Star Gazer

 

I think that would be just AWESOME... just think of the monopoly that we would hold over this forum... it would be like a supernova.

[Ronni_W]

the way she put it, it wasn't the only reason she gave me, but it was the only concrete one.

Is it possibly the only 'concrete one' that your mind was/is willing to work with at this time? That is, maybe the more nebulous reason(s) would necessitate self-reflection that your psyche is just choosing to put off for another day? (Which, there's absolutely nothing "wrong" with that.)

 

Regardless. That's too bad it turned out this way. I'm sorry to hear of your experience.

[Tomcat33]

I still prefer brutal honesty, when someone lies to spare my feelings it makes me feel antagonized. Like somehow I'm so sheltered that I can't handle the truth. When I ask for honesty, I expect nothing less. Even if it's brutal. I feel better when I know where I stand.

 

 

I hate to point out the obvious and in no means am I trying to "pick on you" but just for the sake of clarity and to understand what you mean when you say you don't want to be made to feel like you are sheltered and can't handle the truth, but let's suppose she was being honest and the reality was that your height was the only issue, does taking out a thread to hyper analize that indicate that you can handle the truth? Or does it mean you feel there was something more?

 

Does handling the truth mean we are unaffected by the truth or that we accept it? I just don't see how knowing up until the last infinite detail is going to make a real difference you are still being deprived of having a relationship with this woman, by her choice, is that not really the issue here? Or do you absolutely NEED to know the bottom line and how would it change anything?

 

 

Perhaps this is why people feel the need to not be brutally honest. what's the point really?

 

Just something to think about.

[rod_in_gtown]

does taking out a thread to hyper analize that indicate that you can handle the truth? Or does it mean you feel there was something more?

 

Well, the thread was a rant... I needed to vent and was perhaps looking for some empathy... I feel that it helps me to let things out, it releases tension and helps me get over things.

 

you are still being deprived of having a relationship with this woman, by her choice, is that not really the issue here? Or do you absolutely NEED to know the bottom line and how would it change anything?

 

Perhaps this is why people feel the need to not be brutally honest. what's the point really?

 

It would not change a thing. The bottom line is that is over. but that does not take away from the principle that lying so someone is antagonizing, even if your intentions are justifiable. Remember, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

 

Regardless, to ME it's more important to know the truth over being protected, I want to be the one to make that choice, and by asking for honesty, I'm excercising the choice to be treated like an adult. I guess it's a pesky little trait we librans have.

[Tomcat33]

Fair enough Rod, I see what you are saying. I think many would agree they would prefer the truth over being lied to but we cannot account for people's cowardice, so we just have to accept things as they are and find our own way to make sense of a situation.

 

At any rate judging by your pic there, it is totally her loss because you are looking mighty yum-my!

[rod_in_gtown]

At any rate judging by your pic there, it is totally her loss because you are looking mighty yum-my!

 

I would not mind to be pounced on by a mountain lion or cat right about now

[Tomcat33]

I would not mind to be pounced on by a mountain lion or cat right about now

 

 

That's the nicest way anyone has called me a cougar.

 

Actually you are prob older than me, but I will still drag you up into the mountains and eat you all up! RAAAWWWWR

[rod_in_gtown]

That's the nicest way anyone has called me a cougar.

 

Actually you are prob older than me, but I will still drag you up into the mountains and eat you all up! RAAAWWWWR

 

I'm so taking you up on that!! :lmao: Should I pack by hiking boots and a speedo? I guess I should prepare for anything

 

BTW, I'm 30 but I've generally dated older than I am. So maybe call me a cub?

[Tomcat33]

Opps I stand corrected, I can wear the cougar title proudly as I am actually 4 yrs older.

 

Come along my little cub...everything's a go except the speedo, "Sean Connery" comes to mind

 

[rod_in_gtown]

Opps I stand corrected, I can wear the cougar title proudly as I am actually 4 yrs older.

 

Come along my little cub...everything's a go except the speedo, "Sean Connery" comes to mind

 

 

OMG!! :sick:

 

I think I look a little bit better than that!!

[confusedgirl85]

I started dating a guy who is shorter than me... and he is shorter even when im wearing flats!!! At 1st when i met him i thought it would be an issue but it hasnt been now that we are together... it really doesnt bother me, i try not to wear heels when we go out, but theres nothing with being with a guy shorter than yourself....

[Ruby Slippers]

I'm tall, and I once dated a guy 1" shorter than me and another just 1" taller than me. I still wore heels, though it did seem to bother them a little. The guy I'm with now is 2" taller than me, and when I'm wearing heels or shoes with a thick sole, he usually comments on it and says he wishes he could tower over me. He also loves it when I'm barefoot and he's got shoes on. On the other hand, he says it's nice to be with a woman who sees eye to eye with him for a change. And I get no complaints about my looooong legs. So, in my case, I've never made an issue out of it, but the guys have from time to time.

 

You sound like you have a really good attitude, rod. Sorry it didn't work out.

[rod_in_gtown]

I'm tall, and I once dated a guy 1" shorter than me and another just 1" taller than me. I still wore heels, though it did seem to bother them a little. The guy I'm with now is 2" taller than me, and when I'm wearing heels or shoes with a thick sole, he usually comments on it and says he wishes he could tower over me. He also loves it when I'm barefoot and he's got shoes on. On the other hand, he says it's nice to be with a woman who sees eye to eye with him for a change. And I get no complaints about my looooong legs. So, in my case, I've never made an issue out of it, but the guys have from time to time.

 

You sound like you have a really good attitude, rod. Sorry it didn't work out.

 

Just making lemonade ruby, just making lemonade...