Ok, It's official. I'm too short so I've been dumped. [UPDATE 9 Years Later...]

[sunshinegirl]

Speaking as a tall woman (5'9")...sadly, yeah, for some of us height is an issue. It may be insecurity, it may just be what turns us on. If the latter, how is it any different from other preferences people have - e.g. for partners with thin builds, or more athletic ones, or long hair, or whatever?

 

I had a date today with a guy an inch shorter than me. As much as I wanted to like him, part of attraction for me has to do with a guy's physical "presence". I felt like I dwarfed him, and that feeling really killed any desire I had to (lean down and) kiss him.

 

In your case, it does sound like much bigger issues are in play and height is probably a red herring. Though I would like to offer up that she may have liked you so much that she wanted to see if it would work (if she could "get over" the height difference) and then she ultimately realized she couldn't.

 

But my money is more on the divorcing/cheating ex thing.

 

Sorry it turned out this way.

[CaliGuy]

Speaking as a tall woman (5'9")...sadly, yeah, for some of us height is an issue. It may be insecurity, it may just be what turns us on. If the latter, how is it any different from other preferences people have - e.g. for partners with thin builds, or more athletic ones, or long hair, or whatever?

 

I had a date today with a guy an inch shorter than me. As much as I wanted to like him, part of attraction for me has to do with a guy's physical "presence". I felt like I dwarfed him, and that feeling really killed any desire I had to (lean down and) kiss him.

 

In your case, it does sound like much bigger issues are in play and height is probably a red herring. Though I would like to offer up that she may have liked you so much that she wanted to see if it would work (if she could "get over" the height difference) and then she ultimately realized she couldn't.

 

But my money is more on the divorcing/cheating ex thing.

 

Sorry it turned out this way.

 

I've dated women as tall as 6'2" without heels. It seems to me the ones who are bothered by a man's height do so mostly because of how THEY feel with him, not particularly him. In the OPs case, it was definitely her insecurity because she was at least initially attracted to him.

 

OP just be confident in who you are. If a tall woman puts you off because of HER height, let her go man. She's a waste of your time. Let her find some tall dude and you go find someone who's a better fit for you.

 

The trick is not to waste your time on someone who doesn't want to be with you. That just stops you from meeting the woman who does

[rod_in_gtown]

I've dated women as tall as 6'2" without heels. It seems to me the ones who are bothered by a man's height do so mostly because of how THEY feel with him, not particularly him. In the OPs case, it was definitely her insecurity because she was at least initially attracted to him.

 

OP just be confident in who you are. If a tall woman puts you off because of HER height, let her go man. She's a waste of your time. Let her find some tall dude and you go find someone who's a better fit for you.

 

The trick is not to waste your time on someone who doesn't want to be with you. That just stops you from meeting the woman who does

 

It's funny, my ex-gf was also 5'11 and she didn't have a problem with my height. but she was another basket case. I know a very good friend who is attracted to me, but she's a really nice girl. And for some reason I'm not that into her. It sucks because I just know she would treat me like I've always wanted to be treated but I don't think it's going to happen... Maybe I'm only attracted to women who won't stick around... is that possible? I mean, the girl with the daddy issues, the married woman with the cheating husband... I think I see a pattern here.

[Star Gazer]

What's odd is if I were her height, I'd be probably be okay with even being taller than you in heels because you're already tall, so you already have a manly presence. It's much different when the girl is short (like me) to begin with.

 

So yeah, it's probably an insecurity she has with HER height.

[rod_in_gtown]

Ok, so I got pretty hammered, met a very nice girl, interesting and cute... But attached... that's the cherry on top of the ice cream.

[Green]

I'm tall so I have the oposite happen, I'll say something they don't like and there like the only reason I'm with you is because your so damn tall.

[zicke]

I think it was something else---most likely she is not ready to date as she was going through a divorce and the height thing was probably just something to add on to it. Kinda rude to day though.

 

I'm 5'9 and 5'11 wouldn't be an issue for me as long as the man was "manly". I've only been in LTR's with men over 6'3 though so I am probably not the best person to comment. If I had been dating a man your height for a while, it means I was attracted to you, and height wouldn't have been an issue.

 

The main point being--she's going through a divorce--it will take her at least 1-2 years before she is even ready to consider being healed enough to be with someone long range.

 

You're a cutie--so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

[BentSpine]

Go for the intelligent 5'11 women, those without a tattoo or fake breasts, and they'll get over being taller when wearing heels. That's my experience.

[Shygirl15]

Aww, Rod, sorry to hear this, is that why you were in such a cranky mood yesterday?

 

All in all, she's insecure and shallow. And since when is 5'11" short? Anyway, I'm sorry you're hurting, but it's all for the better.

[Shygirl15]

I know a very good friend who is attracted to me, but she's a really nice girl. And for some reason I'm not that into her. It sucks because I just know she would treat me like I've always wanted to be treated but I don't think it's going to happen... Maybe I'm only attracted to women who won't stick around... is that possible?

 

SG, do you hear that? It's pretty common..

[D-D]

Sorry to hear that! I'm 5'6" and have been turned down for dates because "I was too short", so I know how you feel. You are definately taller than average, so I can't figure out her problem.

 

I personally believe that someone who won't date someone because of their height (something they can't control) is shallow.

 

Hopefully you find a new girl who is better than that! Cheers!

[stillafool]

Why didn't she notice this before you guys got involved? She's shallow and you're lucky she's gone. At 5'11 she'll find most men are going to be shorter than her if she wears heels.

[Trialbyfire]

I have to laugh at the shallow comments about women not wanting to date men shorter than them. The reason being, as a woman who's under 5'3", I will boldly stand firm about never dating a man who's under or equal to my height! There's no way in hell, I want to physically be able to dominate a midget.

[sunshinegirl]

I am far from a shallow person but I am someone who has a hard time being attracted to a man shorter/smaller than me (5'9").

 

MOST women prefer to date men who are larger than them - in height or overall mass. I strongly suspect that it's no different for a woman who is 5'4" than one who is 5'11".

 

Obviously someone's internal qualities are incredibly important, but if I am simply not turned on physically by a man who is shorter than me, why does it make me shallow to not want to pursue a relationship with him?

 

I think it may be comforting to tell the OP to blow this woman off because she's "shallow". But how is having a height preference any more or less shallow than having a weight or build preference, and how many times on LS have we supported a poster who just wasn't turned on by someone? "Hey, we all have preferences and fine, this person didn't do it for you" is what we tend to say to THEM. But I digress.

 

I think general pairing-up-trends support my point: the vast majority of couples are ones in which the guy is taller/bigger than the woman. Most of us NOTICE when a tall woman is with a guy shorter than herself.

 

I agree that it was probably crude of her to SAY it was the height thing, especially AFTER having slept with the OP. But on the merits themselves, big deal: she wants to be with a guy who's taller than her when she wears heels. Great. Let her go find that guy. Neither she nor the OP would be happy over the longer term if she didn't accept and want him as he is.

[Nevermind]

My ex was two or three inches shorter than I am and it never was an issue. I think it shouldn't have been less, but at this height there was no problem. He could still hold me and give me a feeling of safety, which is important in a partner (for me).

 

I think breaking up with somebody who has everything you want, but the perfect height is a bit shallow. However, if there is no initial attraction then you will never reach this stage and basically don't lose anything.

[BUENG1]

I am far from a shallow person but I am someone who has a hard time being attracted to a man shorter/smaller than me (5'9").

 

MOST women prefer to date men who are larger than them - in height or overall mass. I strongly suspect that it's no different for a woman who is 5'4" than one who is 5'11".

 

Obviously someone's internal qualities are incredibly important, but if I am simply not turned on physically by a man who is shorter than me, why does it make me shallow to not want to pursue a relationship with him?

 

I think it may be comforting to tell the OP to blow this woman off because she's "shallow". But how is having a height preference any more or less shallow than having a weight or build preference, and how many times on LS have we supported a poster who just wasn't turned on by someone? "Hey, we all have preferences and fine, this person didn't do it for you" is what we tend to say to THEM. But I digress.

 

I think general pairing-up-trends support my point: the vast majority of couples are ones in which the guy is taller/bigger than the woman. Most of us NOTICE when a tall woman is with a guy shorter than herself.

 

I agree that it was probably crude of her to SAY it was the height thing, especially AFTER having slept with the OP. But on the merits themselves, big deal: she wants to be with a guy who's taller than her when she wears heels. Great. Let her go find that guy. Neither she nor the OP would be happy over the longer term if she didn't accept and want him as he is.

 

Most people's definition of shallow is when a person won't look past superficial(mostly aesthetic) qualities (looks etc) when choosing a mate. The lady said she wouldn't date him because he was too short. I don't see how this isn't "shallow".

[Trialbyfire]

Most people's definition of shallow is when a person won't look past superficial(mostly aesthetic) qualities (looks etc) when choosing a mate. The lady said she wouldn't date him because he was too short. I don't see how this isn't "shallow".

She's been friends with him for awhile and was kind of dating him, in that they were hooking up. I highly doubt this was her sole reason for not giving it a go. If so, she wouldn't have hooked up with him.

[Yamaha]

I know a very good friend who is attracted to me, but she's a really nice girl. And for some reason I'm not that into her. It sucks because I just know she would treat me like I've always wanted to be treated but I don't think it's going to happen... Maybe I'm only attracted to women who won't stick around... is that possible? I mean, the girl with the daddy issues, the married woman with the cheating husband... I think I see a pattern here.

 

 

You like a women who is a challenge and hard to get. I often find myself in a position where a womens interest will change in me, because maybe I didn't show enough interest, and then my interest goes up. Many times it's 2 late as she has changed her mind about me. I think we put ourselves above someone that we know wants us but put ourselves below someone we know doesn't and therefor more of a challenge.

[flc]

Sorry to hear that Rod, looks like we have something in common this weekend. Worst part is it's a long weekend and you get an extra day to dwell on things before the week starts. Anyway a good bottle of wine and a few days the birds will be chirping again. Btw - I also think the height was a secondary issue, its an easy out since you can't change it.

[Lishy]

Well, I could never date a guy shorter than me BUT I would not put myself in a position to start dating him and then end it and tell him it is because he is too short! That is just damned rude!!

 

I think you have had a lucky escape hon and that she had other major issues

[Tomcat33]

It's funny, my ex-gf was also 5'11 and she didn't have a problem with my height. but she was another basket case. I know a very good friend who is attracted to me, but she's a really nice girl. And for some reason I'm not that into her. It sucks because I just know she would treat me like I've always wanted to be treated but I don't think it's going to happen... Maybe I'm only attracted to women who won't stick around... is that possible?

 

 

You should get together with Star Gazer

[sunshinegirl]

Well, I could never date a guy shorter than me BUT I would not put myself in a position to start dating him and then end it and tell him it is because he is too short! That is just damned rude!!

 

This I agree with.

[Alma Mobley]

I would (and have) dated a man my height (5'6"). I haven't had one ask me out who was shorter.

 

But, 5'11 is NOT short. I agree that tall women might have more issues about this. Tall women are VERY self-conscious about their height. I have had a few friends who were quite tall and they hated it.

[likestolaugh]

You should get together with Star Gazer

 

 

can you imagine the threads that'll result from that!?

[Lishy]

You should get together with Star Gazer

 

Now THAT would be funny!!!!!!!