Ok, It's official. I'm too short so I've been dumped. [UPDATE 9 Years Later...]

[rod_in_gtown]

Rant warning, I was just dumped not an hour ago and I need to vent

 

Well, I can't say that this is a surprise, I've been seeing the signs for at least a week, she usually ran out of my house first thing in the morning (have to take the dog out), and she has not been responding to my texts and emails like she used to.

 

We were going to hang out today because her best friend was leaving town after spending a week with her and she said: "I've got plans for later tonight but let's meet for a snack or early dinner" supicious, she would always come over and we would go wherever together.

 

When we were asked at the restaurant (2 amys in DC) if we wanted the main dining hall or just quiet she said "let's do quiet". which to me meant, "she wants to talk"

 

So we had some light conversation, and I asked her what her plans were for tonight... she hesitated, and then said "I'm going to dinner" (a lie), so I asked her if somewhere exciting and she replied "oh my friend sara is coming back from Philly today and we talked about having dinner today" another lie. Her friend is with her husband spending labor day weekend in philly, why would they come back on Sunday? But whatever, by this point I knew what was coming.

 

Near the end of the dinner and with a 9-top with children next to us she said "I don't think I should keep dating you anymore, the last time we had sex I felt like it wasn't right." so I look around, see the kids next table and tell her, let's talk about this outside after we're done.

 

So we did, we walked to my car and I gave her the basil that I got for her today at the farmer's market and then we walked back to her car and had a conversation about why she didn't feel like could do this anymore.

 

Remembering the recent thread on honesty, I asked her why and I asked her to be honest.

 

She said that we're the same height, we're both 5'11 and she likes to wear heels and she feels strange with me being shorter when she's heeled and she knows that it's shallow but she's not ready to be in a serious relationship where that wouldn't be an issue.

 

She said that we get along well and we have many things in common and that she feels very comfortable with me, but she didn't ask me if I wanted to be friends which I was kind of expecting. So I brought it up... can we be friends?

 

She said that it was up to me, but that she would like to. and I'm ok with that. We then had a long walk to the park and played in the swings and talked some more...

 

I wanted to ask her if she had been sleeping with other guys while we were sleeping together, but I'm not sure yet if I want to know. If I do, I'll ask her and I hope she's honest.

[Suiyobi]

Dude... wtf. Seriously, this is one of those things that makes me lose hope with a lot of girls these days. I mean, just because you're shorter than her when she's wearing heels she wants to break up with you? It doesn't matter if "she knows that it's shallow" to think this way but, really, come on... COME ON...

 

If I had to give her the benefit of the doubt, I'd say that there's something else going on and the whole height thing is just a facade to cover up the truth. Because seriously man, I just can't see how a girl will dump a guy just because he's shorter when the she's wearing heels...

[Star Gazer]

First, you're not short. She's tall.

 

It all comes down to attraction, and yes, MANY (if not MOST) women need to be shorter than the guy they're with when wearing heels. It's an attraction thing, which you cannot help.

 

Luckily, the gross majority of women will still be shorter than you in heels given your height.

[Explorer]

First off, 5'11" is not short. Statistically speaking, the bulk of women will be shorter than you, so that normally shouldn't be an issue.

 

But you did find one that's the same height and who's intensely concerned with image. But at least she was honest. That's cool.

 

Why do you care if she was sleeping with other guys? Leave that issue alone. If it's over, then move on. Usually, staying friends will prevent you from doing so. At least in my experience.

[Citizen Erased]

If she's willing to break up with someone over something so small and stupid as this, thank your lucky stars.

 

I'd like to think that there is something more to this, but some people are this petty and shallow.

[lovestruck818]

short men are the sh*t!

[likestolaugh]

so, do you want to be friends in the hope that you can eventually see if she'll change her mind about you? It's often a knee-jerk reaction...

[Star Gazer]

I don't know why some people try to make this into a superficial/image issue.

 

Many, many women want to feel smaller than the man they're with. It's not shallow, it's not superficial. It's what attracts them.

[rod_in_gtown]

Well, it's not exclusively that, there are little things like our families are different, hers is very american mine is from Colombia, but mainly she's going through a divorce and she's not ready to be serious.

I knew this from the beginning so I can't say I'm surprised. I knew what I was getting into. and we did talk about not being bf and gf so if we're being technical, then I haven't really been dumped because we were not officially bf and gf. However, it all comes down to the whole no more making out, sex and holding hands.

[Suiyobi]

The funny thing is that he's not even short. He's pretty much average, if not a couple of inches taller than the average height for a guy. It's just that the girl he was with happened to be the same height as his, and apparently she loves wearing heels so much so that it becomes an issue for her that she appears taller than him when she wears those heels.

 

I dunno... it's kind of like what Citizen Erased said...

 

I'd like to think that there is something more to this, but some people are this petty and shallow.

[Toasted]

She's got other issues i think. Too bad she chose such a lame excuse, especially after it seems you've been so supportive and patient with her. I would say her #1 goal for a SO should be finding someone who wouldn't treat her the way her ex did. 5'11" is not short, lol. jeez. On to better things gtown!

[rod_in_gtown]

so, do you want to be friends in the hope that you can eventually see if she'll change her mind about you? It's often a knee-jerk reaction...

 

We were friends before hooking up, and honestly I missed hanging out with her the way we did before we started hooking up.

 

In my head I'm very clear that it's not going to happen ever again. (at least that's what I want to convince myself with). It's my heart now the one who has to follow suit.

 

Plus we've only "dated" (hooked up) for 3 weeks so it's not like giving up a relationship or a marriage.

[vonerik012]

So really, she can only date guys who are about 6 foot 4, because if she wears 4 inch heels she will be 6 foot 3.

 

The strange thing is that she did not bring this up as soon as she met you.

 

Women on here would be calling you the biggest pig on Earth if you were sleeping with a girl for a while then said "Oh, it won't work, I like larger breasts"

[Star Gazer]

I'm also not surprised that there were much bigger issues at play here.

[Tomcat33]

Aww Rod_in_town sorry to read this! Weren't you asking about getting this girl a gift in some other thread? (sorry if it wasn't you)

 

Honestly she sounds really insecure, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard she dated you a bunch of times and could not get over the height thing?!?! It's not like you are 5.5 and she is 5.11 anyway what can you do if she can't get over being a few inches taller than you in heels she has the problem not you. It sounds like there may be more to this and the height thing was an easy out...

 

My last bo was 3 inches shorter, me without heels, and he was the tallest best looking man I had ever seen.

[rod_in_gtown]

I don't know why some people try to make this into a superficial/image issue.

 

Many, many women want to feel smaller than the man they're with. It's not shallow, it's not superficial. It's what attracts them.

 

Believe it or not, I actually agree with you. It's hard to be a man's man when your woman looks at you eye to eye.

 

I do have to say that we were getting closer than she probably wanted to. She's going through a divorce from a cheater so she's probably not strong enough to let someone in because she doesn't want to be betrayed again.

[Mako482]

I call BS, she didn't know that before you guys got into a relationship? A girl that is really turned off by that (which is their right) is not going to date you in the first place.

[Star Gazer]

Believe it or not, I actually agree with you. It's hard to be a man's man when your woman looks at you eye to eye.

 

THANK YOU.

 

Luckily for you, this problem won't happen very often.

 

Unfortunately for her, if she's like me and needs to be smaller than the dude in heels, she'll have the problem more often than not.

[rod_in_gtown]

Aww Rod_in_town sorry to read this! Weren't you asking about getting this girl a gift in some other thread? (sorry if it wasn't you)

 

Yeah, It was me and I did get her a potted basil plant (she loves basil) with 3 different varieties of basil. She really liked it.

[Trialbyfire]

The height thing is probably a red herring, since the two of you were friends, then started hooking up for three weeks. She would have balked sooner.

[rod_in_gtown]

I feel like going out to cafe Japone (a karaoke joint in Dupont circle)

 

If anyone is in the DC area (I know shygirl is) I would love the company. I'm going to call a few of my friends and see if I can get sloppy drunk while singing my little heart out.

[Tomcat33]

Yeah, It was me and I did get her a potted basil plant (she loves basil) with 3 different varieties of basil. She really liked it.

 

 

Oh well I was going to suggest gerberas since they brighten up a room and are non commital flowers but a nice gesture nuntheless, good thing you got her basil instead :laugh:

[Jilly Bean]

She's right in that women generally aren't attracted to short men, but you're not short - she's EXTREMELY tall!!!! Does she play basketball?

 

And FWIW, if that's you in your avatar, you have mad sexy legs!

[Star Gazer]

And FWIW, if that's you in your avatar, you have mad sexy legs!

 

Oh yes he does!!!

[rod_in_gtown]

She's right in that women generally aren't attracted to short men, but you're not short - she's EXTREMELY tall!!!! Does she play basketball?

 

And FWIW, if that's you in your avatar, you have mad sexy legs!

 

Oh yes he does!!!

 

Yes, that's me in the picture. Me and one of my best friends who is unfortunately out of town and can't take me out tonight.

 

I love you girls!! Thanks for the TLC!