NYY5 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I'll try to make a long story short here. My ex left me out of the blue back in the end of January 2007. She then contacted me 8 months later (in October) wanting to be "just friends." I told her that unless we got back together again, I could not be a part of her life. Which meant (and I specified) no texts, no email, no letters, no phone calls, no ANYTHING. Because she had been coming in and out of my life like this for almost 10 years now. I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt, and still feel, like if she is in my life as just a "friend" that I can't move on, or heal the way I should. I remember seeing someone's signature here that said something like "I'd rather you be completely out of my life than only half way in it." That is how I've felt about her for a long, long time now. So, despite what I told her back in October, and it has been 10 months of silence since, last night she randomly texted me asking if we could be just friends, because she really needs a friend right now. So I texted her back, asking her what she meant by what she said. When I saw a text from her, my heart was pounding and I got all weird feeling, and got the shakes, not knowing what to do, or how to react. I don't know what to do! It's so confusing. I keep thinking there must be some other reason, there must be more than meets the eye here, or something like that, but who knows? I just don't know what to do. I feel like if I be "just friends" with her, I'll be caving in. But part of me would also feel bad to reject her need to have me as a friend. But after all the crap she's put me through, I don't know why I'd feel bad. I just don't know what to do... do I stand my ground, or cave in...it's so hard. But I was NOT the one to break NC. I was the one who asked for it. NC was MY decision to stick to, and I was never tempted to break it over the past 10 months. She still hasn't responded back yet from the text I sent her last night, which was a response to her initial one. Maybe she changed her mind, or realized she made a mistake by contacting me. But I don't really know that. I have nothing to go on. Thanks for listening to me vent.
sultry33 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I'll try to make a long story short here. My ex left me out of the blue back in the end of January 2007. She then contacted me 8 months later (in October) wanting to be "just friends." I told her that unless we got back together again, I could not be a part of her life. Which meant (and I specified) no texts, no email, no letters, no phone calls, no ANYTHING. Because she had been coming in and out of my life like this for almost 10 years now. I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt, and still feel, like if she is in my life as just a "friend" that I can't move on, or heal the way I should. I remember seeing someone's signature here that said something like "I'd rather you be completely out of my life than only half way in it." That is how I've felt about her for a long, long time now. So, despite what I told her back in October, and it has been 10 months of silence since, last night she randomly texted me asking if we could be just friends, because she really needs a friend right now. So I texted her back, asking her what she meant by what she said. When I saw a text from her, my heart was pounding and I got all weird feeling, and got the shakes, not knowing what to do, or how to react. I don't know what to do! It's so confusing. I keep thinking there must be some other reason, there must be more than meets the eye here, or something like that, but who knows? I just don't know what to do. I feel like if I be "just friends" with her, I'll be caving in. But part of me would also feel bad to reject her need to have me as a friend. But after all the crap she's put me through, I don't know why I'd feel bad. I just don't know what to do... do I stand my ground, or cave in...it's so hard. But I was NOT the one to break NC. I was the one who asked for it. NC was MY decision to stick to, and I was never tempted to break it over the past 10 months. She still hasn't responded back yet from the text I sent her last night, which was a response to her initial one. Maybe she changed her mind, or realized she made a mistake by contacting me. But I don't really know that. I have nothing to go on. Thanks for listening to me vent. sounds like she is having some problems.. cannot really say if responding was a good idea as i break nc but just do what feels right to you..
wareagle Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 You answered the question yourself! You can't move on with her in your life in any form other than with you! Then NC means NC = not responding to her in any way shape or form! You have to be strong, she's fishing to see if she still has you on the line and you took the bait by texting her! Why would she need you now after all this time? She didn't need you when she broke your heart! Why should you be there for her in her time of need? Like I said she is fishing, wanting to see if you will still be there for her! The best thing for you is to go Nc again, ignore her pathetic attempts at keeping you there for her when she feels like she needs you!
Author NYY5 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 Well all I said back was "Why do you say that?" I didn't say "Oh my god, yes! I will be your friend!" or anything like that. And she didn't even reply again anyway, so I'm starting to wonder why she even bothered to text me in the first place. She's weird.
WiseOne1 Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Well all I said back was "Why do you say that?" I didn't say "Oh my god, yes! I will be your friend!" or anything like that. And she didn't even reply again anyway, so I'm starting to wonder why she even bothered to text me in the first place. She's weird. Dont be her friend, after all this time she hasnt needed you, why does she all of a sudden need you? Shes testing her water, shes ****ed up and got out there and now is miserable, theres nothing wrong with you saying "the only way we could be talk as if were dating" I said it to a ex gf before. She bassically wants you as a friend, but doesnt consider you good enough to be a BF. Screw That. The only way thats acceptable is if you were friends to start off, I mean good friends, like months or years.
sunshinegirl Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 For all you know she wants a shoulder to cry on about some other guy. Unless you're prepared for that, I wouldn't recommend letting her back into your life.
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