yongyong Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 How can I change a woman who expects me to change my schedule for her? I never bitched about her schedule (job, friends, cleaning house, family etc) but this woman gets upset/mad and thinks 'I don't care about her' if I can't be available for her. we agreed to meet on sunday. on saturday night 9pm, she asked me to come to her house. (she said she was going to sleep over at brother's house) I was going to hang out with my friends so I told her I wil try to be there by midnight. she asked me why I can't just hang out with them for an hour and come to her house. so i wanted to leave earlier but thoese guys were saying 'don't be a pusxy, you can't let woman control you' and I was finally ready to leave around midnight. I called her couple times and no answer so I went home. I called her today to see if she wanted to meet but she said she's going to her brother's house to sleep over and we just hung up after that lol Is there any good strategy to train this bitch other than saying 'fxxk that biatch and dump her' ?
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 You would deal with a bitch the same way a woman would deal with a guy who's pussy enough to be pushed around by his friends.
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 You're right pb! It's just irritating when someone blames another person 'cause they can't draw firm boundaries for anyone, including their own friends. My apologies. Carry on OP.
Author yongyong Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 I wasn't pushed around by my friend. actually I agreed with them logically. My heart was saying, 'I gotta go, she will get upset'. Without my friend's pressure, I would've been a guy with no boundaries. So if you don't know what you are talking about, watch your mouth You would deal with a bitch the same way a woman would deal with a guy who's pussy enough to be pushed around by his friends.
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I wasn't pushed around by my friend. actually I agreed with them logically. My heart was saying, 'I gotta go, she will get upset'. Without my friend's pressure, I would've been a guy with no boundaries. So if you don't know what you are talking about, watch your mouth Then when she suggested her alternative plan, did you say, no, I'll be there until midnight?
paddington bear Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 The very fact that you yongyong are calling the woman you're dating a bitch isn't a good start...if I thought some guy I was seeing was describing me as a bitch behind my back I would be seriously angry, and then you'd see what a real bitch is like. She obviously wanted to see you, because she likes you and all you're thinking is f you bitch, I ain't going to be pussy-whipped. I think it's too late to say 'fxxk that biatch and dump her' because it sounds like she's already decided to stay with her brother, rather than be anywhere near you and maybe you've already been dumped without even realising it thus saving you all the mental angst over 'training' this dog, oh sorry...woman, got confused there for a moment, it was a woman you were talking about wasn't it?
Author yongyong Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 I said I could hang out with my friends for couple hours and would be there around midnight. it was win/win solution for both. she wanted me to stay with them just an hour and come to her house. If I cancelled the plan with friends and went her house, she would expect the same later (I call you , you show up no matter what) Then when she suggested her alternative plan, did you say, no, I'll be there until midnight?
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I said I could hang out with my friends for couple hours and would be there around midnight. it was win/win solution for both. she wanted me to stay with them just an hour and come to her house. If I cancelled the plan with friends and went her house, she would expect the same later (I call you , you show up no matter what) So you fought and then reached a compromise? What was her response to this compromise?
Author yongyong Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 maybe you have the same mentality as her. so you are hanging out with your friends and your man wants to see you right now. it's either yes or no situation. are you going to run to that guy like 'a puppy running to a dinner bowl' cuz he obviously wants to see you? oh maybe you belive in 'I should be treated like a princess by a man'? The very fact that you yongyong are calling the woman you're dating a bitch isn't a good start...if I thought some guy I was seeing was describing me as a bitch behind my back I would be seriously angry, and then you'd see what a real bitch is like. She obviously wanted to see you, because she likes you and all you're thinking is f you bitch, I ain't going to be pussy-whipped. I think it's too late to say 'fxxk that biatch and dump her' because it sounds like she's already decided to stay with her brother, rather than be anywhere near you and maybe you've already been dumped without even realising it thus saving you all the mental angst over 'training' this dog, oh sorry...woman, got confused there for a moment, it was a woman you were talking about wasn't it?
Toasted Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 yongyong, i agree with you that you shouldnt just dump your plans with your friends because your girlfriend will get mad at you. its controlling and immature on her part. however, its all in the execution. you punked yourself out because you didn't make your own decision. if you had told her from the get go you wouldnt be there and if she couldnt handle it then she could move on, people could respect that. Or if you told your friends you were leaving early because thats what you wanted, same thing. but you didnt, you played the fence between what your friends wanted and what she wanted and then went with your friends - probably because they were there and she wasnt. Don't bother trying to "train" her, do her a favor and dump her.
Author yongyong Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 She answered the phone with 'What?' and we hung up after she said, she was going to her brother's house (new born baby) I am sure she is pissed. But there is nothing I can do about it. it's not my problem. (she is the one who didn't make it to original plan) If she is a genuine person (understands other's situation, not being selfish) and cares about me, she will change. But if that's the way she is or she doesn't want to work with me, then I can do nothing about it. I will keep my standards and will see what happen. So you fought and then reached a compromise? What was her response to this compromise?
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Either you're not divulging everything or are unable to communicate it. Let's try it again. g/f: Why not spend an hour or so with your friends and then come see me? yongyong: [insert what you said] g/f: [insert what she said] etc, etc.
Author yongyong Posted September 1, 2008 Author Posted September 1, 2008 I agree with you. here is more detail.... I said no first and if she responded genuinley 'ok fine', I could have a good time without worrying about her. But she was giving me an attitude when I said no. So I called her again and suggested the solution. she didn't appreciate the fact that at least I was trying to work with her but she pressured me further by saying 'stay with your friends for an hour' I tried to work with her and only thing I got in return was not appreciation but her madness. That's why I think I shouldn't even try to please a woman in this kind of situation. that was my fault. yongyong, i agree with you that you shouldnt just dump your plans with your friends because your girlfriend will get mad at you. its controlling and immature on her part. however, its all in the execution. you punked yourself out because you didn't make your own decision. if you had told her from the get go you wouldnt be there and if she couldnt handle it then she could move on, people could respect that. Or if you told your friends you were leaving early because thats what you wanted, same thing. but you didnt, you played the fence between what your friends wanted and what she wanted and then went with your friends - probably because they were there and she wasnt. Don't bother trying to "train" her, do her a favor and dump her.
carhill Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Please yourself and be happy about it. No matter what you do, your woman will be mad at you about something, even if you give her everything she thinks she wants. Get used to it. If she gets pissed, just calmly tell her this is what you're going to do, you understand she is upset and you hope she gets over it. EOS, that's it. Don't call her a bitch unless you're heading out the door for the last time Part of being a man is carrying on with dignity in the face of adversity. If you're in a relationship, you'll get plenty of that. Best of luck!
Trialbyfire Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Notice how long it took for you to communicate clearly to me what happened and even now, I'm not completely clear about what happened? Also, notice the way you reacted, even though I apologized? If there are maturity issues going on here, it's on both sides, including communication issues. My advice to you is that when she called at 9 p.m., you should have stuck to your guns and said, I've made other plans and am committed to them. My friends count too. You and I are going to see each other tomorrow anyways. While your feelings and time count, so do mine. When you waffle, you give someone the belief that you might do what they say. Having said that, she shouldn't expect you to drop all your plans for no reason, unless she has a solid reason why.
vonerik012 Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Women on here seem to have a double standard. If you called her, and told her to dump her friends after an hour to come to your place, then you would be needy, clingy, controlling. If a woman does this,and then acts like a baby if you cannot, she just wants to see you, and somehow it is still your fault. If you run to her you are a pussy, and if you do not run to her you are still as pussy because your friends are controlling you, lol. I think the truth is some women view what they have in between their legs something that no other woman on earth has . She wanted to get laid, and you did not jump enough at the chance, so this hurt her feelings.
djhall Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 I was going to hang out with my friends so I told her I wil try to be there by midnight. she asked me why I can't just hang out with them for an hour and come to her house. .... so i wanted to leave earlier but thoese guys were saying 'don't be a pusxy, you can't let woman control you' and I was finally ready to leave around midnight. I called her couple times and no answer so I went home. I suspect the key to this problem lies somewhere between these two statements. You told her you would try to be there by midnight, she asked why you couldnt leave around 10, and you said what and how did you say it? Did you say, "I'm sorry, I already made other plans with my friends in advance and I am not going to flake on those plans at the last second, but I can come over at midnight or we can make other plans for tomorrow." Or did you say, okay baby, I can't leave right now, but I'll get there as soon as I can and then turn around and not leave or call until the original midnight because your friends were pressuring you?
djhall Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Also, the problem may not have been so much what you said as much as how you said it. Your attitude here has been very poor, both toward the person who you are dating and supposedly care about yet speak of as if she were dirt, and the people who have been so brazen as to disagree with you or suggest you may in fact be part of the problem as well. Perhaps you might cosider the possibility that she called and wanted you to change your plans not because she wanted to be demanding or controlling, but because she wanted to surprise you with some sexy new outfit or just a nice evening together and she felt you treated her rudely when you assumed she was just being a bitch?
Tony T Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Is there any good strategy to train this bitch other than saying 'fxxk that biatch and dump her' ? What you've got here is a narcissist who feels the entire world revolves around here. Narcissists cannot be cured as a rule. (Google female narcissist and you'll get more insight.) You're only solution is to buy some excellent, comfortable running shoes and get away from her as fast as you can. You life will never be normal around someone like that.
troubadour Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Another classic by yongyong... he loves the drama...
djhall Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Another classic by yongyong... he loves the drama... Uh, oh... have we been feeding a troll?
CaliGuy Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 You would deal with a bitch the same way a woman would deal with a guy who's pussy enough to be pushed around by his friends. ROFL!!!!!!!!!!! Why TBF, you made a funny!
Author yongyong Posted September 1, 2008 Author Posted September 1, 2008 This woman has too much pride in herself. She just asks if I can meet her or no. If I say no, then she says 'okay', hangs up and gets mad at me later. I don't want her to beg but at least she can ask nicely or she needs to understand my situation. On thursday, I called her at lunch time and she wanted me to pick her up. she didn't want to drive and I didn't want to pick her up either so I thought it just didn't work out. If she asked nicely about it (not begging), I might consider it but she said come here or whatever, so I didn't go. of course, she got mad too. When I met her yesterday lunch time, I met her according to her schedule (she called after she finished and I came out. I understood because of her job situation) She had to leave in one hour and I let her go without whining. I am a single college student so I have more free time than her. When she had to take care of her job, daughter, house cleaning, going to church, hanging out with friends and going to her brother's house to take care of new baby, I didn't say a sxit. I think I was very nice at first and she is just taking it for granted. I feel like when 'I give a dollar bill to a bum and he gets mad at me' (I did what I could without expecting appreciation but all I get is a flame)
vertigocidic Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 I assume she might have anger issues going through that head of her's.
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