flc Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 So I go into the week after enjoying a six week steady relationship thinking that I would get some quality time with my gf and end up getting dumped. So tell me how did things go bad so quick? Six weeks ago we meet and we have a good first couple of dates, we spend more and more time together and we are very intimate, a lot of kissing, hand holding, dates every weekend. All is going well. Last weekend we sleep together for the first time, it was not what I expected. She did not want any foreplay and had difficulty getting wet. I chalked this up to first time together jitters as she wanted me to continue and we had sex a second time in the morning and that went better. Now fast forward to this week, we did not see each other all week as she was sick. Friday we go out but she says she is tired and does not want to stay out late. Saturday she is going out with her girlfriends but promises me she will spend today with me. Today I call and she says she got in late and will call me a bit later. By 3:00p I am getting some feelings that something is not right. She calls and says she is still tired maybe we can get together later. I press her on it as clearly something is up. She says she has this problem that when she gets close to someone she feels that her space is being taken and pulls back and more yada, yada about her problem and how it is not fair to me..... I tell her that I think the problem is not her, I am just not who she is looking for and why not just be straight with me. She says I can call her later if I want at which point I say NC is best, goodbye. Man, it sucks when you think the sun is shining and then get hit with a lightening bolt. I really liked this women, now I get to go through that crappy feeling again.
Star Gazer Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 The sex was bad, and as a result she lost some of her attraction for you. As a result, she's panicking about staying in a relationship that takes up her time when she's not truly into it. Sucks, but I'd get good money on it.
likestolaugh Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 hey, you're the one that broke up with her! You didn't even give yourself a chance to try and work things out.
nowhereman82 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Good for you. 6 weeks in and already issues. Time to move on!
Rooster_DAR Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 So I go into the week after enjoying a six week steady relationship thinking that I would get some quality time with my gf and end up getting dumped. So tell me how did things go bad so quick? Six weeks ago we meet and we have a good first couple of dates, we spend more and more time together and we are very intimate, a lot of kissing, hand holding, dates every weekend. All is going well. Last weekend we sleep together for the first time, it was not what I expected. She did not want any foreplay and had difficulty getting wet. I chalked this up to first time together jitters as she wanted me to continue and we had sex a second time in the morning and that went better. Now fast forward to this week, we did not see each other all week as she was sick. Friday we go out but she says she is tired and does not want to stay out late. Saturday she is going out with her girlfriends but promises me she will spend today with me. Today I call and she says she got in late and will call me a bit later. By 3:00p I am getting some feelings that something is not right. She calls and says she is still tired maybe we can get together later. I press her on it as clearly something is up. She says she has this problem that when she gets close to someone she feels that her space is being taken and pulls back and more yada, yada about her problem and how it is not fair to me..... I tell her that I think the problem is not her, I am just not who she is looking for and why not just be straight with me. She says I can call her later if I want at which point I say NC is best, goodbye. Man, it sucks when you think the sun is shining and then get hit with a lightening bolt. I really liked this women, now I get to go through that crappy feeling again. Sound like your typical confused American drama queen to me.
vonerik012 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Yes, another confused drama queen.. Just move on, you are better without her if she has issues already..
Jilly Bean Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Sounds like she has some sexual hang-ups. Not wanting foreplay is like not liking jello. Everybody loves jello! I think she pulled back after she felt uneasy being sexual (of sorts). I agree the issue is her, and not you... Better 6 weeks, than 6 months. Still sucks, don't I know...
Author flc Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 My gut feeling is that she has issues with sex as well and once we had sex she felt that now she was in a situation were I would want more and that would not work out for her. If the sex was not good it was not for my lack of trying to be attentive to her. While I cannot claim to be the biggest stud in town I have never had complaints, even from my ex wife, this is the one areas we always agreed worked. While six weeks is not a long relationship it was long enough to develop feelings for her and all I was really looking for was a nice relationship with someone I could share my time with. As far as working it out, the feeling I got from the call was that she had already worked things out, it did not sound like this was open to continuing. From my experience the only way to break up is cold turkey, it hurts like hell for a while but it is better than the death of a thousand cuts.
Author flc Posted September 1, 2008 Author Posted September 1, 2008 So thinking that maybe I gave up too easily I txt her to try and meet. She tells me she doesn't want to make things harder? So after all this she can't even give me a face to face breakup. How weak is that, at least it gave me some closure that this is for the best
JoeNewbie Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 From your posts you seem like a nice guy but it seems like you let you guard down way too quickly. Words such as "steady relationship" and "feelings" don't blend too well with a six week fling. Let it go... Be thankful that you got out this early in the game. Perhaps she has issues, perhaps she does not, perhaps this, perhaps that... It's not worth the headache, really. Go out and find another woman.
Author flc Posted September 1, 2008 Author Posted September 1, 2008 Joe I hear what you are saying and I know things will get better but it just seems worse when it seems to come out of the blue. At 50 getting dates is not what it use to be either, maybe I need to settle;)
zicke Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Aww, sorry to hear that. Was she your age? Women as they get older lose some of their lubrication. She didn't seem very sexually open, which down the line will have become a major issue for you eventually. No foreplay? Is she somewhat overweight or something? She just seems like she has some hang-ups. And 50 is not old, you do not need to settle. The guy I am seeing is almost 50 and he certainly didn't have to settle...he has me afterall! I am a younger than him by a decade so, you older guys still have it going on!
Author flc Posted September 1, 2008 Author Posted September 1, 2008 Aww, sorry to hear that. Was she your age? Women as they get older lose some of their lubrication. She didn't seem very sexually open, which down the line will have become a major issue for you eventually. No foreplay? Is she somewhat overweight or something? She just seems like she has some hang-ups. And 50 is not old, you do not need to settle. The guy I am seeing is almost 50 and he certainly didn't have to settle...he has me afterall! I am a younger than him by a decade so, you older guys still have it going on! Thanks, she was 47, divorced for 10 years. She was fit not overweight and quite attractive. The settling was in response to the men over 30 need to settle thread.
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